Anyone not getting DC the present they asked Father Christmas for?

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

DS (5) showed me his list for Father Christmas last night.

Can't get it - he asked for a proper bike without stabilizers. Can't afford it and even if I could, I can't teach him to ride it.

Crap. What do I do? Is anyone else in this position? His school is in an affluent catchment area, so it kind of feels like I'm the only one not able to make my child's Chrishmas wishes come true.

I told him that I didn't think FC got things that aren't fun to use at Xmas time, and bikes not fun in the cold and rain... Then he asked 'so will Father Christmas never ever give me a bike? Why does he give other children bikes, but not me?'

So basically, I muffed it. What now?

Local selling sites? I got my daughter micro scooter on ours which cost £8 whereas a new one would have cost more like £80!!

No I'm not and I haven't on most other years TBH. The DCs just write huge lists but they know it's just for ideas and, as I've pointed out to them, FC somehow knows what presents they will really love, even though they hadn't asked for them.

Sorry you're struggling healthwise. It is horrible not to be able to do all this stuff with DCs isn't it :( (((empathy hug)))

Oh you've all been so nice and totally trying to make it possible, which is so kind of you.

As ever, things are somewhat more complicated and bloody annoying than they first seem, and I didn't want to drip our shitty situation all over the Christmas topic.

Was hoping others can't afford stuff or don't want to buy things for other reasons. And I wondered if there was a way to keep the magic and wonder of FC but without getting it...

Basically, a bike taps into a lot of the grown up worries and problems that DS is mostly sheltered from, and the whole bike thing puts pressure on a very finely balanced situation...

Oh why can't he want something else! Argghhh!!!

I'm mostly bed bound and doing things outside of the house tends to be a big treat for DS, and one offs, so I can't go to the park (carrying a bike) regularly enough to help him learn. Since I got ill most friends scarpered, along with H. We don't have family either. Also, DS lack of coordination and strength might be just normal, or a sign he's inherited my illness, so it's all terribly sad and complicated.

I don't want to put him in a position of trying and failing... By not being as to get him on it frequently enough, or having someone whos not able to spend the time & effort it will need, or by buying a cheap bike which is hard to Pedal/ balance/ brake etc, given he's not going to be 'a natural' ... Learning to ride would really help with body confidence, but failing he'd take hard.

By the way, the way I'd planned on dealing with the whole thing was a cunning 5 step plan, which DS has now derailed!

1. to ignore it this summer (tick! Great at following plan so far!)
2. Then autumn & winter as grace period, to save if I can, and no worries as DS hates being out in the rain / cold anyway (err... Damn it. Plan derailed here)
3. then next summer get a really good learner bike - second hand & with no time pressure, to wait for the right one to pop up.
4. Then pay for a young & enthusiastic person to take him to the park and teach him, with me cheering from wherever I am (bed, home, or park on the sidelines...). Probably a man as DS doesn't have any male role models in his life so would kill 2 birds with one stone.
5. When DS is confident on his bike, he could occasionally bike to school with me on my mobility scooter, and have fun racing me (beating me!) etc, and have picnics where I can seruptitiously lie down and he can have fun cycling around the park etc...

If you are looking for alternatives to a bike, how about a Go Kart?

This one is £25.

I have a disability, which means I would not be able to teach ds how to cycle. If I am completely honest, I think I would prefer not to get my ds a bike at Christmas (when he is older). I don't know if you feel a bit like that...I would get him one, at another time, but I would prefer to get a Christmas present that I could be a bit more involved with.

Hey there, I have 3dc's 2 being sn which means I can't work Dh works full time and we are very often within the realms of bit always being able to get dc's exactly what they want for Christmas. I usually try find something I know they would love that they haven't asked for that's within my budget this usually provokes the reaction of shock surprise and excitement which means they forget what they asked for and think father Christmas is even more magic than they reliased. My eldest dc is 11 and it still worked on him last year.

I'm not getting my dd (6) what she's asked for. She's asked for heelys. I think they're expensive for what they are. I don't really like them. She has rollerskates that she never uses. I still feel guilty though!!

My kids have been told for a long time that they can ask FC for whatever they like but he will always bring them whatever he thinks best. They rarely get what they ask for but firmly believe their actual gift is better just through the power of persuasion.

I wouldn't get a bike yet in your situation to be honest, and I obsessively try to get my dc things they ask for I think esp given his age, a 3 wheel scooter with a bell might be better for both of you. Just say FC will get him a bike when he is a bit older.

This is why I didn't do Santa. Fine if you can afford it.

I also think so long as he gets a bike at some time in his childhood it won't be something he remembers too much.

One other idea is to look into cycletraining courses which are sometimes subsidised, but even then you would need to get the bike to the training so still better for when he is old enough to handle the bike himself

Btw don't buy but new PS4's or Xbox's!! Game or CeX do reconditioned ones for a lot less. DS got a second hand Xbox 360 this year for £90.

My lot frequently don't get what they ask for! They are told Father Christmas uses their lists for ideas about what they like so they might get some things off it but he likes to get them surprises too. Ds1 for example has never been bough an iPad, iPhone and a ds! I have done plenty second hand too or free cycle.

A go cart or scooter does sound like a good idea if he'd be able to use them. Otherwise as others have said there are always plenty of bikes going cheap or even free. If you got a normal bike you could take the pedals off for him to use as a balance bike and put them back on if and when he gets the hang of it.

We bought DS 5 a bike and frankly all its done is bloody rust outside. He can't ride it, it's too heavy and he has no co-ordination for it yet! I think everyone's the same which is why you can get so many cheap good condition second hand bikes.

If you have a garden I'd say a cosy coupe, sit on pretend motorbike or even one of those scuttle bugs would be fine.

Start planting little comments about how bikes are wiser in the summer and maybe how Santa wants to bring him some grown up toys.

Don't beat yourself up, please

I've never bought a full price bike for any of the dc usually pick up something decent for £30-40 on eBay and can be polished up easy enough

My ds1(6) has asked for a phone, adult tablet, computer and a ps4 for his bedroom. Funnily enough he's not getting any of it. And I don't feel the slightest guilt about it either. Last year his Christmas list was 6 pages long so not getting what he's asked for is nothing new.
Get a second hand bike or look for a cheap deal, if you can hold out long enough, most Boxing Day sales start on Christmas Eve and I'm sure halfords will have a good deal.

Oops just read your next post. Ok get a balance bike. Don't worry about teaching him, my kids school had a special day when they taught the kids to ride. Was fab.
My ds has never been disappointed on Christmas Day even though he's not always got what he's asked for. I've always bought items I know he'll love and he doesn't even notice the missing items

Op- have you looked into places that teach kids to ride bikes etc. we've been to bikeability in Wales but they probably have other branches. They have listing bikes etc for people it's disabilities but they also have lessons, and you can hire bikes cheaply. Both my kids learnt to ride bikes there as I seemed completely unable to help them.

after a whole summer trying and failing to teach DD to ride, we learned the balance bike method. Buy bike, remove pedals, give bike to child. They are in complete control scooting along, you don't have to do anything.

Once they are gliding along and you can see they have got their balance, put pedals back on. Start video recorder. Watch child ride off into the sunset. Done.

Anyway that's by the by. If you're too ill to take him to the park it's still not a sensible choice. DD wants an ipad mini. As it happens, we saw the £35 kindle fire and I think she will be thrilled with that, but if it hadn't existed, father christmas would not be buying her a tablet.

By the way we do bikes (all second hand, with the old one being sold to part-fund the next one) outside birthdays and christmas. I'd have no problem saying bikes don't fit down our chimney, or you'll get him one in the summer but that is rather committing. Convince him santa can't do a bike and he may well come up with a more manageable idea.

I think a balance bike or a monster trike might be the way to go - something he can use himself independently but isn't reliant on help from others. But you are right more might be got from it in the summer. I wouldn't stress too much and just say sometimes you have to take turns for bigger presents with other children and as someone else said lists are for ideas.

I have got all bikes using tesco an nectar points in the past. Don't think I ever paid for any of them. She has also had secondhand too.

Also a thought maybe one of those scooters that have a scissor action could help with strength too

Personally Id get a bike and take the pedals kff and use it as a balance bike. A second hand one though. Dd's was £10 :) he won't be the only one who can't ride a bike at his age. Ds was almost 7 and quite a few of his friends were too.

However I don't think its the end of the world if you don't buy him it. I think you can be honest and say santa doesn't thnink he will get much opportunity to use it so what about XYZ?

Don't beat yourself up.

In your (admittedly very difficult) situation, I think I would buy a balance bike. You could easily pop it on the foot rest of your scooter and off into the sunset you go. If it's raining and cold and DS doesn't want to go out then the choice is his. In no time at all he will be whizzing along next to you and gaining confidence to make a big boys bike much easier.

FWIW, DS couldn't manage a big bike at 5, despite my buying an expensive Raleigh bike and putting in numerous hours of effort. In truth he was probably 7 before he managed to coordinate himself enough to make any forward progress

Where abouts are you miscellaneous?.