Present for someone with expensive taste who doesn't appreciate anything

[sky1010]

I need some gift advice for one of my nans. 'Nothing' isn't an option, because it's more about making my dad happy than her.

My GM doesn't appreciate anything. Will complain about the food if you take her out for dinner, the play that she demanded she was invited to and had tickets bought for her and the gifts she asks for. She's also a good one for 'oh I'll give you the money' and not actually giving it to her.

Every December my dad gets a list of her requests. He relents at a particular Chanel perfume she likes. My parents usually shove me on the gift label to get me off the hook, but this year she will be at ours for xmas day so I do need something for her to open from me.

Can someone suggest something no more than £20 that I can get for her that doesn't look shit as to not rock the boat? She will strop if she thinks she's been 'had'.

Token present to open and I'd be spending £10.00 at most, it sounds as though there isn't much that would cut the mustard so with the extra tenner buy yourself a decent bottle of wine for when she's gone home!!

Could you have a look in a local charity shop for a brooch or other gift which might be appropriate - at least that way whatever you buy the money will go to a good cause.

Gift voucher? John Lewis, Selfridges, Debanhems, etc?

The back story isn't hugely interesting.

She emigrated to the UK when she was in her 20s, had her DC and retired there but decided it was a fantastic time to move there and take out a mortgage at 77 with my grandad.

Grandad dad died, she became even more bitter than she was and the accusations started that no one loves her and no one wants to see her.

She moved over 4 hours away, to a very rural location (where she grew up but all family are dead). My dad and his brother go and see her every 3 months as it is not cheap to go there.

When people haven't visited as much as she liked, she has faked illnesses to get into hospital. In her country, it's very easy to get a bed as an elderly person. A few times we have got calls from doctors in the middle of the night in broken English, cue a mad rush to get to her country, just to be met with a 'yeah I had a bad chest infection, SEE, you could have visited me after all'. She is an old lady so the family rush over just incase she actually dies and isn't crying wolf.

DM has been left alone when she is ill herself, had to go to weddings and parties on her own due to GM's dramatics. DM has also been told that she wants my dad to divorce her so my dad will live with her in her country.

It's just seriously bloody mental.

It was a good release writing all that. Dreading Christmas.

Oh poor you, she sounds awful!

Good lord, I would be so tempted to sponsor a toilet in her name

What does she get other people for Christmas?

All club together and hire a companion / cook for the day and leave her at home. She sounds very nasty to DM.

Jar of humbugs?

And then spend the extra on something really lovely for your mum and dad :)

A book on manners

My DM never likes anything she is bought and never bothers to hide her distaste and dissatisfaction. I now make no effort at all and for the past few Christmas and birthdays have bought her a bottle of wine from Tescos - she is equally dissatisfied whether it's tickets to a West End Show or the wine so it just seems easier. I suggest you do something similar - DD and I have a private sweepstake predicting her reaction which lightens the mood.

What a nightmare she sounds! I'm sorry you have to manage a person like that; it sounds exhausting!

I would say, to give your mum some respite from her bitching and purposefully make yourself the focus with a present she can really bitch about. Does she hate some food or dislike a particular chocolate type? Get her that Biggest, most expensive box you can afford. And when she says she doesn't like it, happily devour half in front of her. Cry when she makes a negative comment, saying this was half your savings.

Did she have pets she fondly remembers? Give to that specific charity in her home country. Make a card with photo of her and her pet on cover. Or any children's charity, and a photo of her and your dad when he was little. Then when she doesn't look thrilled, do a lower lip wobble and ask if she doesn't like it in a cracked, strained voice.

But warn everyone else of your theatrical performance :-)

I have an awkward relative, although no where near as difficult as yours!

I had a rare success last year with a local history book I sourced online of the town she grew up in. Failing that my fall backs are expensive candles and expensive-looking (but often quite cheap) coffee table type books from The Book People or similar. Not sure she likes either, but at least they let her know I have made an effort.

The more thought and effort you put in, the more hurt you'll be when she's ungrateful. Buy a 3 for 2 deal at Boots and give her the free one.

Christmas flower arrangement? But to be honest, if she is going to complain any way... Anything will do

She sounds totally vile. I think something bland and impersonal is the way to go, so chocolate, quality soap, a pot of bulbs - dull and hard to object to should be the aim. Sorry you have to spend xmas with this person.

There isn't a gift that she will magically respond positively to, because she doesn't actually want to have a lovely gift and be grateful for it. She wants the drama.

Get something off the list or one of the suggestions above, then forget about it.

Get something you like, then if she kicks off you can ask for it back.

Therefore - champagne? Preferably from Lidl or whichever bargain brand is tipped by the reviewers to be this years' best. They always pick one really cheap one along with the Taittinger vintage.

Ignore her - she sounds bloody horrible!

Oo my Grandmother is similarly horrible and me and my absolutely wonderful DM have great fun choosing completely horrible presents for her. Our local TKmaxx is usually good for something horrid. Scarf/ugly teapot/hideous handbag have been great fun in the past.
I suggest you plan a day out with your DM and choose something cheap and hideous and then spend the rest on wine.

What a shame this ladies boat wasnt rocked, and rocked hard, a long time ago.

What a delight

TK Max, cashmere scarf, box set etc.

How about a bird feeder for her garden? Feels appropriate for an older person who no-one wants to visit so can look at the birds

If she doesn't have a garden, you get ones that attach to windows with sucker caps...

Errrr ... Good luck.

A bird feeder is probably a nice idea. I'll have a look.

You probably got the bird feeder now but you could name a star after her.

www.amazon.co.uk/Gift-Republic-Name-Star-Box/dp/B000QEQVBW

Not too expensive but would feed her ego ie 'oh well even though you are far away we can still look up at you'

steakpunararemediumwelldone - Best idea ever, genius!