What would christmas be like if ...

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

You left your other half in charge? You just rock up on the day and ask so what did we get the kids?

It has happened here. The presents were flashier but there were fewer of the little touches I do from a sense of tradition.

The kids probably preferred it!

But there were no roast potatoes..

I'm sure it would be fine, after all we have fairies who shop, clean and prepare in this house

Truthfully, I suspect we may find ourselves mysteriously invited to my DP's actually. Failing that we would end up with a fairly decent dinner (albeit about 8pm) and a rather random selection of generic gifts (probably heavily featuring bottles of port and dark chocolates) He would also need a week off in advance to plan :o

Oh yes and the tree moved from the usual eclectic but organised-looking to storm-ravaged in style.

The corners were dusty and I saw my BiL looking pained at a corner full of dust bunnies.

We would be OK food & drink-wise as he does all that anyway.
Tree would be up & decorated & outside lights but then he'd be wandering around the house going "where does mum usually put this"
Kids would be OK for main stuff as he would use their lists but he wouldn't go off-list so no bits & pieces. No one else would get presents & nothing would be wrapped.

The house would be decorated with gusto (but perhaps not much style), there would be plenty of presents, but no stockings for the kids. There would be lovely desserts, but no mince pies, and a massive turkey but no vegetables.

He'd do pretty well I think - he's already sorted out half the presents for the DC this year

There woukd be a tree and we'd all get Amazon vouchers. Dinner would be courtesy of M&S, probably very light on vegetables.

Dinner would be great and there would be booze aplenty.

Presents would be whatever was left at 4pm Christmas Eve.

Cleaning would be a bit ropey - one Christmas Eve I asked DP to mop floor under dining table - he did it but carefully mopped around 2 socks that were lying underneath.....

We'd have lots of nice food and far too much meat.The presents would only be things that come in square boxes that are easy to wrap and the great nieces and nephews probably wouldn't get anything.He would spend much less than I do but probably wouldn't get the bargains/discounts.The outside of the house will look fantastic and the conservatory will be a work of art decoration wise.The rest of the house will not be cleaned as "What's the point with all the forthcoming mess?" He already does all the food prep anyway and can cook but would probably rope in one or two of the daughters to help with the dinner.Actually,I think it would be O.K.!

Is it just me that read this and simultaneously got hairs raised on the back of their neck?

Christmas here would be a disaster! there would be no decorations, he would buy a turkey and no veg, a heap of biscuits and do a trolley dash somewhere around 3pm on Christmas Eve for gifts. Which would be all wrong and he would forget half of those needed....

No just no....

ange:
That made me laugh as I've a teenager who would mop around those socks too!

Well the tree would be up mid November.
We'd all have presents, the children in particular would have something massive and plastic.
We'd get dinner, eventually. If there's one thing he can't do, it's cook to a schedule. He'd have some grandiose ideas about what we'd be eating and we'd probably end up with a fantastic starter, but everything else would, most likely, go to pot. Packet stuffing, fake gravy and the turkey would probably be ready an hour after everything else.
He also can't tidy up as he goes so our kitchen would probably end up looking like a greasy bomb site with every pot, pan, dish, roasting tray and utensil used and then dumped somewhere random.
I'd also be waiting for the crash as the few times he has attempted to do an elaborate meal without help he's ended up in the situation where he's been trying to move a stack of things with one hand to a space that's too small and then drops them.
On the plus side he'd probably get in a lot more booze than I usually do so me and my parents would be sat getting rather tiddly listening to the sounds of increasing frustration and chaos.
[santa]

He doesn't actually exist, so it would be a bit bleak

I am getting tired now of all the fuss and frippery, I no longer enjoy decorating a tree, or making stuff, or even trying really. I buy what I am told to buy by my children; very few surprises, they ignore them anyway.

I think if I left it to my children they would want the food side of it, not be bothered about a tree, and would spend the entire day on the x box.

That's Ok with me.

doubleshotespresso I did get a slight chill.....

There'd be lots of food in, but quite possibly no plan of what to cook (we only cook veggie as a family so no 'set' menu here).
Rhere would have been Advent calendars, and there would probably be small presents for the dc and me. But probably nothing for family and friends.
Ther would be no proper tree, but a tiny artificial pre-decorated one he had when he was on Christmas watch in army barracks on nazional service 20 years ago - he remembers it as his happiest Christmas ever as he got to practise drums all day at top volume so it very fond of that tree, although I have banished it the last couple of Christmases.

Actually, it would all be fine. He's perfectly capable of 'doing' Christmas, helps out a lot with it all, does the heavy lifting and cooked a Christmas dinner a few years ago when we had a 4wk old baby.

However, we would be utterly skint. He would throw money at it, and doesn't ever shop around to find the best prices for things.

And the gravy would be rubbish.

'national', not 'nazional' service

Anastasie it does change doesn't it. I think the highlight this year might be the trip to the cinema to watch the new Star Wars film.

I suggested moving from turkey to chicken last year but it was the kids that said no.

Depends on if I'm allowed to remind nag him or not

If so:

The kids and I would have ok, if last-minute, presents and the tree would be decorated on the 23rd. The food would be excellent mind you. No cards or gifts for anyone else.

If no reminding is allowed:

The kids and I would get whatever he could find at Tesco on the 23rd Dec and the tree would be decorated on Christmas eve (late). Food would be quite good but immensely stressy. No cards or gifts for anyone else.

I asked him to take care of getting DS1 a present this year and he looked a bit like a rabbit in the headlights

Is there a new Star wars film? In that case the older two are sorted!

Thanks...

I will stay here with ds3, as he would wreck the cinema if I took him.

It's odd, I used to love making decorations, getting everything perfect, and then I had children and it kind of stopped being fun and was just exhausting.

We would have lots of Christmas music (from November onwards). There would be a tree and lots of decorations.

Presents would be very functional - woodworking tools, bike accessories, and Raspberry Pis all round (luckily the dds like woodworking, cycling and coding).
Food would be plentiful but would be mostly cheese and carb based. Garlic bread, chips, pie and mash, and lots of cheese sandwiches. There would be no puddings, as he considers a cheese sandwich an appropriate end to a meal.

It would be OK (apart from the food, I am not such a carb and cheese fan). DP has always been keener on all the Christmas tat and merriment than I am (I come from a family where Christmas was tense and dysfunctional, his family had Christmases that seem all twee and cheerful).

There would be no tree or decorations, dinner would be a bird, roasties, Yorkies, pigs in blankets and stuffing.maybe roast parsnips. Kids would get a couple of presents. No crackers. No stockings. But every family member would get individual cards from us and from the kids. Cards are weird in his family.

Film out 17th December or thereabouts. Enjoy it!

He'd do pretty good, I reckon. Kids would do fine, though they may have wildly expensive but totally impractical presents (I give you the personalised Nike's that he wants to buy our 5 year old). All women in the family would have chocolates, a book and a bottle of wine. I would have this and some bath stuff. The men would have wine and transformers
The budget would be massively blown on food. We would not have turkey but some sort of 5 bird extravaganza that would take 14 hours to prepare. Dinner would be amazing but the kitchen would have to be replaced after Christmas Day.
There would be a plethora of booze and chocolate.

We would have an outrageously enormous tree, and the bastard would put tinsel on it

All present shopping would be done on Xmas eve, at enormous expense

Dinner would be delicious but take hours to cook, be served at midnight and leave the kitchen a disaster zone

There would be gin at 8am (actually, I'd be on board with that)