my mum just told me i was selfish, re: brothers present

[santasaltire]

Just had the following convo with mum
Mum "What have you got DB2 for Christmas"
Me "An OOr Wullie book"
Mum "He'll like that, what else did you get him/"
Me "Nothing"
Mum "That's a bit selfish, that book is in Woolies for £4.99.DB1 has got him an MP3 player"

DB2 is a lazy selfish little git. He is supposed to be self employed but he just sits around moaning and moping, saying he's bored, depressed etc. he won't go and sign on because he would have to apply for jobs. Mum and step dad have to keep him. occasionally he does get jobs, for a week or two at a time. Anyway, he has bought my DH a pair of rugby socks which cost £2.99. he has bought SIL and i scarves from Primark which were £1.99 each , and has bought DB1 a book which was £2.99. I know Chrismtas isn't about receiving, but i always feel under so much pressure to give him big presents when i know that what he has given us comes out of my mum and step dads pockets as he has no money. i haven't had a card or present off him for 8 years on my birthday, neither has DH. Last year we got him a top, and some smellies for christmas, we got a big bar of chocolate!
I don't think i'm being selfish in any way, i just don't want to spend a lot of money on him, as i don't feel he deserves it

I meant to say, we've got a lazy-arsed hairy troll of a BIL who freeloads and contributes nothing as well. Damn him.

Blimey, with parents like yours treating him like a king, I'm not surprised he doesn't bother getting a job. Neither would I?!!!

i think there must be one in every family!!

TT

It is tempting to just tell the lot of them to take a running jump, isn't it?

im with Greensleeves!!

Christmas with the family BAH HUMBUG!!!!!

I agree with the general consensus on this thread. OK he hasn't much money but he has plenty of time. He could have made something for you, or offered you babysitting vouchers. Or even got off his fat arse and gone to Primark himself.

Ellie, my step dad has the patience of a saint to put up with it, and when he has tried to step in, when DB is on one of his "i'm depressed/bored/fed up i've got no money but manage to go to the pub" rants, my mum has actually told him to stop interfering. DH and I actually had a discussion about this a few weeks ago, as we are having MIl and step PIL up for Christmas, and i thought it would be nice to have Mum and step dad up on boxing day and get them to stay over. However, she wouldn't come without my DB, so i said "fine, don't come then, cos he's not spoiling it for the rest of us".
I have tried, Greeny, on several occasions to be blunt to my mum about my brother, but she just does one of two things. She either goes all defensive "he can't help it, he's depressed, he's got no money", or she just shuts up and changes the subject.
I've called DH, and told him I am not going to sit here worrying , normally i would be annoyed that i had upset my mum, but not this time.

Saltire. You can't change your mum. He is and always will be HER baby regardless of how old he is. He probably plays on the diabetes to guilt trip her into lifting and laying him but my heart goes out to your Step dad who has probably seen right through his little charades since day one but is powerless to do anything about it. But well done for putting your foot down and telling your mum the DB2 is not welcome to spoil christmas for you and your family.

TT

my good for nothing brother is also the youngest and your Mother will probably stick up for him no matter what as my mum does, you can't win

Is this the one who farts and belches in front of your children ?

Yes sherlock, that's the one! the bane of my life

Well IMO you should have spent more on him, and sent him to ..................

Charm School.