Rebooting Christmas - is it possible? If so, who's with me?

[lightroom]

I love the run up to Christmas. I love decking the halls, cooking, Christmas music, watching Christmas movies, carols by candlelight... I'm in no way a Scrooge, but every year I feel the day itself is a disappointment, once all the presents are unwrapped. I don't like the excess as I'm a minimalist at heart. My ideal Christmas is all a bit Little Women/Lucy and Tom's Christmas. My dc are 10 and 13, and have got used to the excess. I have brought this on myself...

Christmas Day feels v subdued once the presents are opened. I work FT (off sick today) and the run up can be so manic that I'm just knackered by Christmas day and just want to sleep...

So I'm trying to think about ways to do Christmas differently this year, even though my family might be a bit resistant.

I'm thinking about simple changes - like actually doing Advent properly and waiting to get the decorations up & Christmas music out till later in December; trying to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas in some way; a walk or going to Church on Christmas Day (which would be v unpopular!), and being REALLY restrained about presents... We've started asking GParents for experiences rather than things (like tickets for a show) and that's been v lovely.

Anyone else trying to strip back Christmas for whatever reason? Any thoughts on how to prepare DC for the shift?

This thread is perfect for me. Thank you, OP for posting! I have felt "down" every Christmas for the last 3 years but I always spend late November and early December prepping and looking forward to feeling the festive spirit.

No idea why but come Christmas Eve - I just feel low and want to sleep. It may have something to do with the loss of my Grandma a few years ago. She made Christmas magical when I was younger. I have lost the remainder of my grandparents this year so this Christmas will be very odd.

We have made a few plans this year though. (We have an activity based advent calender)

Road trip to a Christmas market,
making the most of our National Trust membership and their Christmas events,
driving to local villages to look at their festive lights,
church
lots of baking.

Last year I was heavily involved with Christmas food bank hampers - it felt wonderful to make a difference and this year I'll be doing the same.

Thank you for the thread and I'll read it thoroughly after DSs bedtime tonight. [santa]

I definitely think that getting involved in some kind of community project around Christmas is a good idea too. Some people have mentioned nativity plays, but it could be anything - hosting a table at the school Christmas fair, organising a charity toy collection or a playgroup party, singing in a carol concert. It's nice to have something that you're working towards that you're doing with and for other people.

As a child nothing happened til Christmas Eve. Well it did father was a vicar. But as far as special foods , treats etc it started with decorations and dinner with friends on Christmas Eve followed by watch night service. And looking at Christmas lights in city on the way home.

I've really kept it that way so no excitement til Christmas Eve

LittleMissGreen I purchased Do Nothing... Christmas is Coming last night. Thank you for mentioning it. It looks right up my street.

Also need to buy A Christmas Carol. I've never read it before

Go on holiday. Every other year we spend Christmas in the Canaries. Small gifts only, BBQ lunch by the pool, sunshine!

trying to keep Christmas Day special now that my boys are grown up ( nearly). No early waking for stockings any more, and I do miss that. But we do have a walk in the late morning , before more family arrive for lunch, and then some sort of game after lunch, usually charades or quick draw, or something like Articulate.

Advent candle is a great idea, anyone know where to get them?

Also when did "putting up the tree" morph into "decorating the house"? For me it was about 20 years ago. Since then I start with a few garlands around 10th Dec and do the big tree around 20th Dec, so the Christmas effect spreads slowly through the house.

We do a permanent Advent calendar where I put in a little activity for each day. They often aren't very much (have a hot chocolate, play a boardgame, take Christmas food to the Foodbank). The DCs love it and I find it makes the run up lovely. It means some of the 'chores' are planned out a bit too.

Last year we went away for the weekend before Christmas, just after the DCs finished school. We went with my parents. We didn't do anything Christmassy while we were away but it was very peaceful and relaxing. Really set me up for a lovely chilled Christmas. I know that's not possible for everykne though.

I always buy advent candles on ebay but I have seen them in Christian book shops/Cathedral shops.

I'm not getting a specific Advent candle with dates marked on it, but I'll put a candle in a jar with some greenery and a ribbon round it and will light it every night. I had an advent candle before with the dates marked on it and got annoyed that I never burned enough or burned too much and we got out of sync with the dates, completely defeating the purpose .

I lit a candle at breakfast this morning and put on some quiet music. It was lovely. Then ds2 came in for his egg, saying it was gloomy and spooky... Each to his/her own!

I'd like to make a wreath this year, so I'll look into doing that with some mates in mid December: I'll buy in the necessaries, and see if we can cover costs and make extra donations to a charity.

Lovely thread. Thank you OP.

I just stick 4 ordinary candles in a tin plant pot with gravel and light one each Sunday and then all 4 Christmas Day. Here are some pics which are better than mine!. Lots of ideas on Pinterest.

We have a few traditions that are working well as ny children have become teens - one is a family secret Santa where the limit is £10 on materials, but the gift has to be homemade. I have been really impressed by everyone's contributions, such as posters made from family photos, homemade beauty hampers, songs performed for a sibling, knitted scarves etc. we usually do it the day everyone arrives home from uni etc. it's much more fun than the unwrapping fest on the day, and my kids are already asking me to draw names.
I am cutting down presents this year, and we are doing Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, sausage and mash on the day, and doing a bit of charity stuff on the afternoon of Christmas Day. I really hope this changes the anti- climactic feeling you describe.

I'm already feeling much more at peace with all of this. Just accepting that Christmas will always be in part a sad time - because we miss Dad so acutely - has helped enormously. And that we can do things differently in big and little ways.

I love the idea of a family Secret Santa/homemade gift for when the dc are older.

After being off sick for some of this week, I now have a weekend of catching up on work ahead of me while the dc are doing their weekend activities. V grateful to this thread for spreading calm.

I think focussing on specifically advent traditions will help me avoid cracking the lid off the Christmas box far too early... Now I'm thinking about simple non-Christmassy things that will keep me grounded and give me space to remember my dad, and all my grandparents. Maybe I'll write about all the many good things I remember about them, and find a way to help people who are still here. Maybe there's something I can do for the hospital where my dad died. I'll look into it.

Some lovely paper advent calendars and an advent candle on the National Gallery website

www.nationalgallery.co.uk/products/advent-calendars

DD home from uni so we will be putting one name and £10 into envelopes tomorrow and doing a draw for our very first family secret Santa. Planning to open the gifts Christmas Eve when we put on pjs.

We are going to fill a few shoebox with make up & toiletries for the women's refuge shoe box appeal. We don't officially celebrate Christmas but take this time to reflect on the past year & the year ahead. Everyone is so busy with their own lives that they forget to connect with others less fortunate sometimes. It's good for children to realise that festivals and celebrations are about more than just presents.

We try to trim down the gifts during our celebrations and focus more on giving to others, charitable donations and shared experiences. We are financially ok and can afford treats but don't want to get into the habit of our children expecting 40+ gifts each. It won't be sustainable if our financial situation changes for the worse. I am looking forward to quiet time with family & friends.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2501080-Project-Shoebox-supporting-those-in-Womens-Aid-refuges-this-winter

Aldi & Lidl sell the advent candles.

I was thinking about this a bit and reading up on advent, and I quite like the idea of taken mg the themes of hope, peace, joy and love and focusing on each for a week. There are obviously all sorts of theological extra meanings behind those concepts, but I quite like the idea of doing them in a simple, more secular way. So for hope, we could think about people who are without hope, and do things to bring hope to them. We can think about the hope and trust we have in others. We can make a wish for the world and do something towels make it come true. We can share our own hopes and dreams.

For peace we can look at war and do things to help refugees. We can look at conflict resolution and ways to behave peacefully in everyday life. We can meditate.

Joy can be about music and baking and sharing with friends, and so is n.

I make loads of wreaths and decorations at work, so the prep for decorations starts in late October, which makes it hard not to be sick of holly by about now!
But I try and keep things at home as Christmas-free as possible until mid-December. No Christmas chat allowed until December (from DD, anyway! Am not sure how realistic that's going to be)...Will put tree up a week or so before The Day, which is a big part of our Christmas. Will do some Christmas baking, wrap presents, crafts etc with DD the week before, but will try and be less glutinous in the lead-up this year!

On Boxing Day we'll leave to go visit PIL for a few days - they're about 4 hr drive away - which DD will be v excited about.

You could do Amnesty International Christmas cards with your children. Read about the cases, pick a couple and make and send the cards. All the info is on their website.

If you Google 'Write for Rights 2015' you will the Amnesty greetings card campaign.

I'm very much looking forward to a relaxed day with family and friends.

DH will be at work until lunch time, but my parents and I will be meeting up with a group of friends in the morning and going for a walk. A blast of fresh air is always a good idea.

Although I've been planning Christmas I've done so to avoid the stress and actually I just want to enjoy a bit of quality time with DH and my parents.

We're not exchanging gifts this year (just doing each other a stocking) because our 1st DC is due in February. We'd rather put the money we would spend on each other towards things for the baby.

I love a simple Christmas - meaningful and memorable and while I love Christmas I do not want to get caught up in excessive consumerism which often leaves one feeling underwhelmed when "the day" fails to live up to the hype.

V excited: found a lovely little cottage w wood burning stove for a few days between Christmas and NY, and it's just over an hour's drive away. We live in a big city, so it'll be lovely to get out into the countryside! This year, for first time in 14 years, we won't have to travel much at all. The usual travel costs will almost cover the cost of the cottage. I am SO happy about not shlepping all over the country this year...

My Richard Rohr Advent meditations book arrived today. It's very Christian, and I'm a spiritually-minded ex-Christian, but he's the kind of Christian I can cope with.

I went to buy a few bits yesterday and almost ended up being seduced by Christmas craziness. I think I'll have to steer clear of the shops!

How is December going for everyone?