Tell me about your Christmas _without_ extended family

[FreezerBird]

Since we've been together, DH and I have always either
a) gone to his parents', where there are usually other siblings and a pretty full house
or
b) had Christmas at ours, with lots of people round.

So Christmas to me involves lots of people and, if at our house, me cooking for multitudes (which I love doing, by the way).

This year, it looks like we're going to be at home, just us with DS and DD. I'm looking forward to it, but I also can't quite envisage what it's going to look like with just the four of us.

It will be church in the morning.... then a meal, but I always find when there's just the four of us there's not lingering over the table like there is when there's lots of us. And I think that's one of my favourite bits of the day, lingering for ages over a lovely meal.

Anyway. Please tell me about your nuclear family christmases to inspire me for mine!

I've never done Christmas with extended family and I've still managed to grow up Christmas obsessed.

Day went something along the lines of - wake up with stocking presents. Go to church. Come home open main presents - drag this out for ages by getting kids to pick up presents individually from tree and hand them out in turn, everyone watches each present opened and much oohing and aahing over them.

Meal - take as long as you like. Eat loads. Wearing hat from cracker compulsory. Give up half way and go for a walk. No-one actually liked the walk, not liking it was part of the fun. Come back for meal part 2 and pudding. You do linger longer as the kids get older anyway.

Spend rest of afternoon watching films, playing with toys, reading books etc.

Of course the best bit of Christmas is the build up - if you have made the pudding with your mum, you will be much more interested in eating it. We used to make loads of biscuits with DM - apparently there had to be enough to last until Easter. Tree decorating with family heirloom decorations pieces of tat You fill the time by making up traditions which you then do religiously every year afterwards.

Now Christmas is just me and DH. We have bacon sandwiches for breakfast with expensive bacon from the butchers - it's a sad day when the packet runs out and Christmas is over open presents in bed like we are 4 and not 40, then I go mental in the kitchen. We have a long dinner and get v drunk. One year the crackers had a game of charades in and drunken charades was so brilliant another tradition was born - so this year we are planning drunken Trivial Pursuit. OK so not such a good idea with small kids but just to say you can do Christmas and your own traditions even just with 2.

We are on our own this year, so I'll be watching this thread with interest.

There's just me and teen dcs this year as h is now ex
We always had quiet Xmas days at home..I refused to go to his family as I like to wake up in my own bed and not have to follow their traditions.

So this year...leisurely wakeup...lots of cups of tea. Presents....get ready...lunchtime drinks at friend's house.
Lunch at 3.30 ( M and S all the way)....open stockings before lunch.
Slob.

Kids will go to see him in the evening ( but don't want to)

We very rarely have Christmas with extended family.

My Christmas Day starts in Christmas Eve when I prepare what I can of the veggies, and make the stock for the gravy.

On Christmas Day we do presents, go to Church, then very light lunch as I start the turkey.

After our meal, we do phone calls to relatives. Then it's onto playing a new game or watching TV.

Lingering at the table can be done any time of the year.

Could you have some games round the table to draw it out? Fun stuff if your dc are little or those gadget mind puzzle type things (where you have to make a pyramid out of little sticks) if older? Encourage chats like 'fav memory from the year' etc.

Have nice drinks (we buy children's wine (appletiser), nice beers etc to sit and drink after. Have them on the table with nuts/ little tray of fav sweets etc to encourage them to hang round).

We've often went for walks and loved them, helps if you have daft festive hat/ jumper as other walkers always very cheery.

We are almost always at home, alone. Sometimes just me & DD!

We have a lovely time, pleased to say that we are all together this year. I try to make the run up to Christmas really busy with Christmassy things. Visiting family, Panto, Ballet, Ice skating, Christmas at a stately home type job.

We always go to a local city on Christmas Eve and have a late lunch/walk around.

When it gets to the 25th we are always ready for a quiet day at home, breakfast, presents, games, walk in the forest, late relaxed lunch, family film, wine and nibbles in the evening.

Lunch usually lasts a good couple of hours and I always buy crackers with a silly game which makes us laugh.

We rarely have extended family, just us. Morning begins with stockings - Ds is 13 now but will still come into our bed to open his - then breakfast and church for those who want to go. Then presents. Ds hands them out and then we open them one at a time in turns so it takes much longer. We then pop to mums (a few streets away) for drinks and nibbles and more presents, and then dinner is either at her house or ours. Then its just chilling. The older dcs want to text and Facebook their friends, Ds will play new Xbox games or start building one of his new models or something. Boxing day is a family walk, so I don't mind them doing individual things on Christmas day if they want.

We've done it for the last two years (wish we were doing it this year but being forced to the in laws!). It's gone like this...stockings in bed (adults too), special breakfast, church, open one present and play a game while I sort lunch (M and S only takes an hour-the Turkey goes in just before church), lunch (crackers and table present each), watch the Queen, go for a walk/park trip, home for a cup of tea and open presents, play with presents etc, snack tea for kids and to bed (DC under 6 so this is by about 7/7:30), then it's grown up time, cheeseboard and port in front of the TV, plus adult time upstairs ;)

I've been pondering this further, and I think part of this is to do with my slightly complicated children. One has food allergies and the other is tube-fed. (Outs self massively, should any friends be reading)

So if the four of us sit down for a meal, I make the 'main' meal for DH and me, modified if possible for DS, but sometimes something completely different, and DD has her tubie meal.

DD used to be very good at sitting up with us while we eat if we gave her something to play with, but it's difficult because she doesn't eat in the same way as us and now she's more mobile she often gets bored and wanders off about 10 minutes in.

It just means a meal with the four of us sometimes doesn't feel that 'communal', and if there are more people there is more lingering, more of us eating the same things etc.

Day to day this is fine, but does make one a bit glum on big occasions.

I think I just need to adjust my expectations and make it less all about Christmas dinner.