really dont want christmas

[corrina28]

Am i the only one that really doesnt want christmas, i could quite happily go to bed xmas eve and get up on 2nd january. I suffer depression and find that it always gets worse bout now. Got up today and the post man had delivered another box of lovely christmas stuff from a very kind mn, which i am soooo greatful for but i just seem to get myself excited about it all. DH has just got a promotion at work which i am so proud of him for as he has worked so hard to get. MIL owes me money and i keep hinting to her about it but she doesnt take the bait. I have to sit and listen to everyone saying what they have bought for christmas, and dont get me wrong we have had lovely things sent for our ds's, but i just feel that its not up to them so provide for my kids, i cant even afford to but anything for dh for xmas. and to top it all off this will be the first christmas since my parents have moved. i really just dont know how to cope with anymore.

christmas is an awful time for people prone to depression because you're expected to be happy, and because you're not, you're made to feel like theres something wrong. basically, i do xmas for the children and thats it - i don't want them to miss out because i don't celebrate xmas. I do see it as an overpriced plastic tat consumer-fest, that i participate in a bit grumpily (bah, humbug etc..) and I take the xmas tree down on boxing day after they go to paternal grandparents or their dads.

I know it's rubbish, because i've been there myself - this xmas I'm relying on my secret stashof boot sale and charity shop bargains that I've added to throughout the year. I'm having to budget harsher than usual through december because of xmas gifts to my children.

there are xmas traditions you can do that cost virtually nothing - making paper chains, going to see the xmas lights, stealth picking holly and ivy - it can be a special time without spending huge amounts of money that you don't have.

I'm better this year but I've spent xmas night on my own without my children after packing them off to spend time with their dad. that was absolutely awful.