How many presents?

[messystressy]

We normally buy four or so presents for the kids, but keep getting told I am being cruel - that they should have a "pile". I am quite happy to remain as we have done, but just wondering what the status quo is? Might be worth saying that they would get maybe two additional presents from relatives. Am I a Scrooge? We do love Christmas in my house, decorate the house in a complete tacky over-the-top way, see Santa, visit reindeer etc....

[Septembersunrays]

l. I agree with others though I don't know how you can spend so little genuinely as things get expensive now, a simple Lego set can be £30 on its own
I do spend more now ( 8 years) than wen say 1 - 5 ish...and this year I have got lego sets but one other reason is I get the tesco points too.

But you can go to car boots/baby sales/NCT and come out with huge bin liners of toys that have cost 20p, 50p and the grand total of £1 each up to £5 for someting really special.

We have had disney dressing tables, a proper little keyboard with stool all working brilliantly £2 ( 35 new) dressing up clothes, books, all the pepa pigs, play mobile etc etc etc even really nice bikes.

I got baking set off ebay - 30 new - ELC I got got £9 NEW IN BOX. etc etc etc

[notaprincessbutaqueen]

in that example i would just tell the 13 year old that they would have to wait until their birthday for the scooter. but i guess i am in the fortunate position that all my children have winter birthdays (2 in jan and 1 in feb. even bump is due in dec) so they don't have long to wait for those big items.
Plus I spend an absolute fortune on my eldest throughout the year. she gets a monthly allowance, plus as she is older clothes are more expensive too, she has always done more clubs then the others (though not by our choice, my ds would rather stay in and play with his lego then do any clubs where as dd wants to do them all!), school trips, school holidays etc. i know it all evens up eventually and when ds's are older they will get that too, but i just couldn't justify spending sooo much extra on her throughout the year and then at Christmas too

[Septembersunrays]

till lego sets DO have offers on, keep an eye out, where do you buy from?

Can you bulk his stuff out with crap like socks, smellies???? so much harder to buy for boys too...maybe wrap his smaller gifts in bigger boxes if the visual ting is getting to him?

I have no idea why people judge (or even care!) what other people give their children for Christmas. Is it because you want to validate your own choices?

I am going to say it. I think giving child a stocking of tooth brushs and flannels then a main gift of something like a hoola hoop is mean, if that is all they are going to get and you can afford a little more. To choose to only give that is cruel.

I think its mean and unnecessary when even the smallest budget can be utilized these days with the above mentioned tricks.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I am definitely not dictating to anyone what they should do, I just think that spending the same is not necessarily a fair way to do it. Everyone does things differently and spends on bigger things at different times. Christmas always ended up bigger than birthdays in our house as there was the "Santa" factor whereas at birthday you are getting a gift from family members and so requests had to be affordable

And I agree that it is the memories you are building that are important. However there is no way that I would have spent what I spend now on my teenagers on them when they were small children. But if I'd evened it all out to be the same over the years then they would get very little now and realistically I would never have been able to buy them the "big ticket" items that I enjoyed getting them if I had the same budget that was appropriate when they were 4.

[Septembersunrays]

Plus I spend an absolute fortune on my eldest throughout the year. she gets a monthly allowance

^ dreading this!!

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

nota Same here - DSS gets a lot more through the year than DDs.

I'm a keen bargain hunter and that's how I manage to spend 'just' £200 per DC. Amazon open box for a start. We physically cannot spend more than that.

I have a large extended family - I am one of 7 and so DDs get gifts from 6 Aunties, my Dad & Step Mum, my Grandparents (so DDs Great Grandparents) their Dad (not my DH), his brother, paternal Grandparents.

So they're not short on stuff to open.

Besides. More money spent does not equate to more love.

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

Oh yeah they get a bit of bulking out stuff! We're fans of proper naff Christmas jumpers/jamas/socks Chocolate, sweets. We buy a few new board games every year along with classic book box sets, DVD box sets (Simpsons being the requested ones this year)

[Septembersunrays]

there was the "Santa" factor whereas at birthday you are getting a gift from family members and so requests had to be affordable

same here, older dd probably wont believe by next year, last year was hard! so this could be last xmas of believing...

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Mine don't believe anymore but it's now the tradition - I make their "pile" look a bit more acceptable looking compared to previous years with bulky things too (tins of sweets £4, set of books £10, bags of popcorn, large bags of crisps, tubes of pringles etc) all things that are wanted and not wasted but make their present stack a bit more inviting and exciting.

[wanderingwondering]

Thing is, if £50 only buys one hoodie or one Lego set surely that's all they get? (If you can't afford more than £50)
If they're old enough to want expensive branded stuff they're old enough to understand they don't get a 'pile'.
That's certainly what happened in our family as we got older-one bottle of perfume, one CD player, one hair crimper, one pair of dms etc (different years) . We still had stockings but the amount spent stayed fairly constant as we grew up.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

If you only have £50 then that is definitely fair enough wandering .

[anklebitersmum]

DD1 made an unusually expensive Santa list a few years ago, which was quite at odds with the one she gave us. She said she knew we didn't have loads of money at the moment so she'd asked Santa for the expensive stuff. I was chuffed she still believed so heartily

DSS's Mum told him about Santa when he was 13 He came and told us what she'd done. DH & I said that it was a shame she'd said that but not to tell the others and that he never stops coming in our house if you believe. You've never seen such a BIG smile.

I love the theatrical 'magic' of it all-sneaking upstairs to retrive the sacks from the end of the beds to fill them, followed by trying not to rustle, clank or light up and "whoosh" (light sabres each were a spectactularly difficult sack addition) as you re-deposit them. There's something incredibly special about a Christmas morning suspension of reality, while DH and I "ohh" and "ahh" and "so WHAT is that then?" about pressies with excited biters (15,15,9,8 & 5 at the last x-mas) who are either perched, bouncing or head first into a sack, on our bed eating chocolate oranges at 7am.

Can't wait for this year..

[FixItUpChappie]

No rules here - I buy what I want with what I have available to spend and have FUN doing it. I can't relate to smugness over being the most frugal and uptight about gifts.

Do what you want according to your own family's traditions and budgetary restrictions IMO - let everyone get on with it.

[CheerfulYank]

I'm doing the "something you want" etc thing this year, so mine will have four as well. I plan on making DD a play kitchen and DS a desk so those will be really big and be exciting.

Also I do put toothbrushes in stockings :o Along with lots of chocolate, small toys, etc.

[Buttercupsandaisies]

Genuine question... For those following the poem and only buying four presents, wouldn't it be nicer to just get four things they want?

I see no problem in any number of presents but that poem really irritates - I'm sure many people just like the way it reads and if you do choose to go down the smaller pile route (absolutely nothing wrong with that), then really they are only getting one present as the others are stuff I expect many would buy throught the year like clothes and books (you can get them so cheap inc free from library so seems a waste of a precious gift to me!)

No offense intended it just seems so limiting in terms of excitement for the kids.

[Shutthatdoor]

I see no problem in any number of presents but that poem really irritates - I'm sure many people just like the way it reads and if you do choose to go down the smaller pile route (absolutely nothing wrong with that), then really they are only getting one present as the others are stuff I expect many would buy throught the year like clothes and books (you can get them so cheap inc free from library so seems a waste of a precious gift to me!)

Well for many children maybe those things are 'precious gifts' whatever a 'precious gift' is anway

[myotherusernameisbetter]

To be fair mine do like books, however I do agree that some people seem to want to suck the joy out of anything. Including for themselves. Give what you can afford yes, but also give what makes you feel happy as well as the children.

[AsTimeGoesBy]

That poem irritates me too, not sure why but it seems to suck the joy out of things a bit.

[HolgerDanske]

I've always thought of that poem as a general guideline for the stocking, for 'main' stocking gifts if you like, and if I were following it I'd add a fair few extra little things.

[Neddyteddy]

Can't stand tat or waste or brainless consumerism. I wouldn't buy something for the sake of buying something. It's not environmental or financially astute. Things don't make a special Christmas. Happiness is more then objects

Mine get a stocking of edible things (luxury dates, special cashews, quirky chocolate) and fun handy items (Spider-man eclectic toothbrush, books they want)

We spend about 40 per head on the gifts for under the tree. Relatives also give us cash instead of gifts so we can buy bikes by putting all the cash for a child in one pot.

My kids are happy with what they receive. They appreciate things

[Troika]

Mine get 1-3 presents from us, and one present and a stocking (that yes contains a toothbrush amongst many other things) from father Christmas. They also get presents from around 10 other people.

Someone said earlier in thread maybe I buy more through the year. Not really, just whatever clothes they need and a few books. They have plenty of toys etc though so are certainly not deprived!

Technology wise, I have a slightly bigger budget for birthdays so buy smaller technological items then. Things like games consoles I would only get if other family members came in on them. So for example Ds wants a ps4 but understands that it would be joint birthday and Xmas from us as well as Xmas from grandparents and aunties/uncles. Maybe that's mean but I refuse to spend more than I can comfortably afford and also think it's good for Ds to realise the value of things.

[Verypissedoffwife]

My kids do have a big pile but to be honest a lot of it is things they need anyway - they just have it on Christmas day rather than another day.

Things like new Pj's, underwear, winter woollies, toiletries, books and art materials. All things that I'd buy them anyway but I'll make them a bit more special by buying (for example) a branded Hoody rather than one from H&M. Or an underwear set from Primark rather than a packet of pants from Asda.

[WhyDontYouProveIt]

Mine are going to get about 4 proper presents each - it works out as 4 because each present will cost between £40-£60 and I am on a budget of £200 per child. Have 4 dc so don't really want to go above that. One is at uni, which is working out to be quite expensive generally!

I wouldn't buy 'tat' £200 is quite a bit of money - for that I want stuff they will actually use and want.

[Verypissedoffwife]

Not thought of buying them a toothbrush before for Christmas but I think if it was a battery operated one they'd like it. Again it's something they need anyway so I think I'll add that. (God I'm a tight arse! )

[jorahmormont]

There's still a lot of reverse snobbery on the thread . Kids who don't get massive piles of presents can still have lovely Christmases. Kids who do get massive piles of presents can still appreciate the value of money and not be 'consumerist' or whatever.