How many presents?

[messystressy]

We normally buy four or so presents for the kids, but keep getting told I am being cruel - that they should have a "pile". I am quite happy to remain as we have done, but just wondering what the status quo is? Might be worth saying that they would get maybe two additional presents from relatives. Am I a Scrooge? We do love Christmas in my house, decorate the house in a complete tacky over-the-top way, see Santa, visit reindeer etc....

[MidnightDinosaur]

For us, it's more about what the dc actually need rather than a set budget or amount of presents.

Last year we did the want/need/wear/read list plus they got a present from each grandma so they ended up with 6 presents each plus a stocking. That was fine.

This year they will get more, probably around 10-12 presents from us. We've not long had a massive clear out of toys. They had grown out of almost everything really and all they were left with is Lego. So this year it'll be about replacing the grown out of stuff with more age appropriate things. Plus we HE so it's a good excuse to get those electronics kits that we wouldn't otherwise buy in the middle of the year due to cost. That and we don't buy gifts/presents outside of birthdays/Christmas.

Their presents this year will keep them going a couple of years at least so next Christmas they'll probably only get 3-4 again.

We do what works for us and the dc love what they get whether that's 4 presents or 12.

My ds1's first Christmas, he had a wooden shape sorter that I bought of eBay for 99p. He was well happy with that and a bunch of wrapping paper to roll around in but I do recall some faces if it got mentioned. He just didn't need anything else.

[WhyDontYouProveIt]

I have teenagers and a 7 year old. I honestly don't know how people can keep spending down, while still getting decent presents. A ps4 game costs over £40 on its own!

Anyway, this year I am going to keep it to 4 proper presents (they are too old for plastic tat) but I know this will cost around £200 per child. I have been putting money aside for this. Last year I won a ps4 and thought 'yay, Christmas sorted' but still spent loads on controllers and games. That said, 'big' presents are usually restricted to Christmas and birthdays and they get smaller treats throughout the year so I like buying them lovely Christmas stuff. My dc are not spoilt or ungrateful - they are lovely, so whatever we are doing, the balance must be right!

In our house, stockings are mostly unusual sweets - things you wouldn't get the rest of the year.

[Whenwillwe3meetagain]

My DS will have just turned 1 in Nov so I'll probably spend about £50. More in later years but even though we can afford it I can't justify over £200 when his favourite toy at the moment is a £1 bouncy ball

[Buttercupsandaisies]

Mine get main, stocking and about 20 presents ranging from £1-£30. I aim to spend £300 on each child but lots of their gifts inc dance accessories etc which they need. They also get

3 x £50 presents off 3 different family members
5 x £20 presents off aunts etc

I know it's a lot but it's how I was raised and they are not spoilt at all. I agree with others though I don't know how you can spend so little genuinely as things get expensive now, a simple Lego set can be £30 on its own.

I buy a mixture of toys and practical stuff they need like pjs, socks, dressing gowns etc. I only buy things they need so there is never any tatt at all and I limited buying from the bargain threads years ago as I was buying stuff cause it was cheap and not because they wanted it!

There's no right or wrong but round here, we seem to by similar to everyone else.

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

Spend roughly £200 per child. We have DSS 13, DDs 7 & 4. DSS pile has looked woeful the last two years - maybe 5 presents - xbox games £40 each, £60 Lego sets - in comparison to DDs who's toys are FAR cheaper in comparison - 15-20 presents each. It caused an argument last year despite all 3 getting exactly the same amount spent on them. It'll be the same this year too, I'd imagine. Its already stressing me out after last year's debacle

[WhyDontYouProveIt]

When they are small, it's easy to spend £50 and get a huge pile of stuff, but £50 for a teenager will buy you one superdry hoodie!

All you can do is make sure the teen knows that you spend the same on all the kids.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

I have no idea why people judge (or even care!) what other people give their children for Christmas. Is it because you want to validate your own choices?
DD will be 2.1 and Christmas, she's getting a micro scooter and helmet. DD2 will be 5 months. She will get a toy of some sort and the obligatory 'first Christmas' keepsake I imagine. My parents will buy them a couple of presents each, IL's will send money. I have no siblings (my brother died) and DH's sister lives abroad and won't send anything.
As they get older we'll spend more. The amount of presents/money spent will depend year on year on a) what they want, b) what they need and c) how much money we've got. I can't imagine picking a number of presents, whether it's 4 or 30, and sticking to/aiming for that number.

[Datschi]

Personally I prefer to make things "fair" by having the same number of presents, rather than spending the same amount of money.
I think children understand that more, because it looks fairer - especially younger children.

If the oldest's main present costs £100 and the youngest's £20, that's just swings and roundabouts - maybe next year it will be the other way round. I wouldn't feel any need to spend another £80 on the youngest.

I suppose it's different when you just have teens, then they are more likely to know the value of things. I think at that point I might move to spending roughly the same on each, but at the moment I don't worry about that at all. I have a rough overall budget, not a budget per person.

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

whydont DSS knew full well they all get the same, didn't stop him kicking off. Little childrens toys often have brilliant offers too - Disney Princess dolls were on 3 for 2, so they got 3 instead of the planned 2. Unfortunately xbox don't run offers, nor do the Lego sets (all things he asked for!) GAH. I have a bit extended family who buy for DDs, and get DSS a token gift (always something we know he'll like), he moaned about that, yet only 1 person from DHs family got DDs a token gift, nobody else bought but I would never (and DDs would never) whine about that either!

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

dat if we did that, it'd mean either spending closed to 1k on DSS to even it up gift wise or DDs getting £60 spent on them to even it up the other way, and I'm not willing to do either of those.

[Shutthatdoor]

I have no idea why people judge (or even care!) what other people give their children for Christmas.

The same goes however got the FB 'pile of presents' pictures and a billion pics of 'themed' decorations from every angle .etc.

I don't care what you do, but don't go on and on about it.

[Misty9]

I often think i should cut down what I give but then i get weird and territorial about it and want him to have things ive chosen

This. Family on my husband's side go overboard with cheap tat but I know what my kids like and it's nearly always stuff I've bought that lasts the course. That said, I must cut down as we buy throughout the year as they go through different stages (still very young) and our playroom is overflowing already.

One big present and a couple of small ones plus stockings this year. Any more is too overwhelming for them to be honest.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

Agreed Shutthat, why would I want to see someone else's present pile?! Who do they think is interested? The mind boggles.

[anklebitersmum]

We do magic, overnight, end of the bed Santa presents in a pillowcase size Santa sack. These are usually bulkier and unwrapped and always includes a chocolate orange, new undies and the remains of the Advent calendar Elves choccies. New character duvet covers and pj's bulk out quite nicely too
DS1 knows the score with Santa but loves it still and leaps on our bed with his sack at 6am with the rest of them plays along. At 16 he's old enough to understand that a PS4 game for example, doesn't look much but isn't cheap. Under the tree presents are usually one or two and they're the 'requested ones'.

That said the biters get from Grandparents and Aunties too so there's no under the tree shortage and it always looks loads as there's 4 or 5 biters-worth of pressies under there. To be honest we tend not to go overboard but we do try and buy what they really want rather than falling into the lots of 'nothing special' as it's always an expensive do with lots of them (even when you're as tight frugal as I am)

[sliceofsoup]

I hate the facebook present pile photos. I don't mind the photos of the DCs on xmas morning playing with their toys, but the living room covered in presents on xmas eve, ffs I don't care!

[notaprincessbutaqueen]

i aim to spend the same and buy the same number of presents. keep it completely even. spend about £60-£70 on the 2 main gifts. that can b 2 items at £30 each or 1 at £10 and the other at £50. my children are 11, 6 and 3 and the eldest is starting to ask for big money items. i simply told her no. she can ask for money and save up for them herself.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I don't think it necessarily is fair to spend the same on children of widely different ages. It's probably easy for me as there is only a year gap between mine, but I think £100 spend on a 4 year old gives them loads of what they want, £100 on a teenager gives them very little. As long as you are spending roughly the same at the same age then that is fair. So, if you spend £100 on your 4 year old and £500 on your 13 year old, that's fair as long as you spend roughly £500 on the 4 year old when they are 13 (or whatever inflation dictates is equivalent)

It is just life that things for older children tend to cost more - i.e I could pick up a pair of branded trainers for a small child for £20 and the equivalent for a teenager is probably £80 - should the teenager get exactly the same spent and so get a cheaper product of lesser quality just because they are bigger and it costs more? Fair enough if that is all you can afford though.

[LikeASoulWithoutAMind]

Totally agree username

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

Not necessarily - my 4 year old loves Doctor Who and the merch for that is around £25-50 depending on offers sales etc.

I cannot justify spending £100 on 4YO and £500 on 13YO just so they have the "same" amount of presents to unwrap 13 is a good age to start learning how much things cost and as I got older I got less to unwrap but same monetary value, eg I had a TV/video player and my Dsis 10 years younger than me had about 8 Bratz dolls and accessories.

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

So I had 1 gift to unwrap - TV/video - 3 videos and DSis had Bratz house, 8 dolls and a few packs of accessories.

I didn't resent nor have a paddy because I understood, at 14, that my 4 presents had cost the same amount as DSis 12 or so.

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

I get what you mean re trainers - if DCs needed new Converse, they'd all get new Converse despite 4YOs only costing £20 and DSSs costing £80 (he's 5'6 already, and still growing!) BUT we're not talking every day necessities, we're talking Christmas, which isn't the same thing.

[notaprincessbutaqueen]

I'm sorry I just wouldn't feel right spending such a different amount on my children at Christmas. But then to me Christmas is more about family, and spending time with each other and being grateful for the year we have had, not getting huge expensive presents. That's what birthdays are for. Just my opinion.

[wasabipeanut]

I find pictures of vast, shiny piles of gifts vulgar but equally I can't abide competitive thrift either - it tends to be exhibited by people who are choosing to be tight and making a virtue of it rather than by people who are genuinely skint.

OP your Christmas sounds lovely. We've calibrated ours over the years to a stocking of around 20 little pressies (including toothbrushes & practical bits) and then 5 main gifts from us per child (we have 3). My mum also gets then several gifts each and contributes stocking fillers. They've had more in years gone by but it takes all day to open them and usually flows well into Boxing Day. It's just too much.

Plus we get round 2 at the PILs a few days later.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I didn't mean so they had the same number of presents to unwrap, it was so that the presents were of equal value - not necessarily monetarily. As I said, it is generally easier for me as I have two teens, both boys, a year apart who like similar things it's therefore fairly easy for me to keep the cost broadly the same.

However, If I had a 4 year old who wanted a pram (say £30ish) a doll (£20) and a pile of accessories (£30) and some other bits and bobs (£20)and a 13 year old that wanted a stunt scooter (£120ish) a computer game (£40), a hoody (£40), a watch (£40) and some bits and pieces (£20) I'd view those gifts as broadly similar in value to the individual concerned and I wouldn't feel compelled to buy the 4 year old exactly the same value of stuff. The difference in value would be "banked" for the future.

[TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee]

We spend what we can afford, which is c£200 per DC. I'm with nota I just can't justify dropping the spending on my DDs down to £100 each to give DSS an extra £200, it would absolutely smack of favouritism, which isn't the case, nor would I spend less on DSS to give extra to DDs if the ages were reversed.

They tend to say what they want, we buy £200s worth, usually about half the list of each child, and then the rest gets passed on to various Aunts/Uncles/Granny and all 3 usually end up with most things on their lists.

We also do Xmas Eve boxes (jamas chocolate book Lush smellies hot chocolate marshmallows), take them all ice skating, to Build A Bear (DSS goes to the LEGO shop now though!) And for walks around our local NT place in the snow and have tea and cakes.

We try to focus more on family time and fun stuff rather than presents, hence all getting the same cost wise and spreading the fun all over December rather than a few days.