How many presents?

[messystressy]

We normally buy four or so presents for the kids, but keep getting told I am being cruel - that they should have a "pile". I am quite happy to remain as we have done, but just wondering what the status quo is? Might be worth saying that they would get maybe two additional presents from relatives. Am I a Scrooge? We do love Christmas in my house, decorate the house in a complete tacky over-the-top way, see Santa, visit reindeer etc....

[notaprincessbutaqueen]

2 main presents under the tree. plus clothes, pj's and a selection box. we will have 5 children this Christmas (unless bump is 12 days late then we will have 4!) so there will still be a nice pile of gifts under the tree. dd and ds1 are now also into buying their own presents for the family so that's an extra 2 each. then there are all the gifts from grandparents/great-grandparents/aunts etc. in other words, the kids end up with loads of gifts on top of the toys they already have!
4 is definitely not cruel! cruel is spending loads of your hard-earned cash on toys that wont be looked at past January! spend the money on days out instead, children value experiences so much more then toys x

[fuzzpig]

I buy a little more than I should really. Not huge piles compared to the photos I see on facebook, but I do go overboard. I'm another one who didn't really have Xmas as a child so I get really into finding nice things for my DCs that they will love throughout the year.

This is the first year where we are actually writing down every single Xmas spend, so we can keep a running total. Will probably round it down to get an actual budget for next year.

[insanityscatching]

Dd gets a stocking with a mix of useful and novelty tat in. Last year's hit was the light up balloons. She'll also get things like fluffy socks, fingerless gloves, chap sticks etc in with the tat.
She will get one expensive present (new laptop this year) and then books, maybe a board game or a ds game. I prefer not to spend too much on tat so keeping it in the stocking limits it.
We don't tend to buy clothes for Christmas as she gets them when she wants/needs them and she doesn't eat sweets or chocolate so don't buy those either although do put some shortbread in her stocking.

[messystressy]

Yes, I see those "pile" photos on FB, always tends to be the same people who do the "piles" of Easter Egg chocolate. I am happy with the four present thing (by the way, my DC are little so something worth £50 is a 'big' present). I started stockings last year, as we didn't really have them growing up. Growing up myself, it was a 'feast or famine' situations so my idea of 'normal' is skewed.

I guess I am happy enough with how we treat Christmas, just curious as to what everyone else does. And based on responses, many do similar to me. I didn't want the kids growing up saying "my Mum was a right ol miser every Christmas" :). Thanks for responses.

[Septembersunrays]

well I guess the thing isnt about the amount really - have a budget and stick to it, that may mean one expensive gift ( for your budget) or lots of lesser ones.

[Beth2511]

We are a 'blow out at christmas but low key birthdays and don't get things throughout the year' family!

Much prefer a big christmas and then things throughout the year are sparse and normally earnt! Our girls are getting about £300 each at christmas. DD is 1 and DSD is 8!

[Septembersunrays]

but having said that, personally i could never have my DC coming down stairs to one or two presents under tree, esp when there is so much for so cheap or free. I would alsways fill it out so it looked good!

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Thing is, at 4 DD said her best present was tights, DS wanted tracing paper more than anything .. so cost isnt necessary the best!

[Kaekae]

I go OTT at Christmas my children are only children for a short amount of time and I love spoiling them. I'm not in debt, I don't get into debt over Christmas so I think why not! I personally couldn't just do three or four presents and I would never put a toothbrush in a stocking....what a letdown!

[LikeASoulWithoutAMind]

4 presents sounds like lots to me.

We tend to go for 1 big present, with maybe one other small present and some books. We also have quite a big family so the dcs get maybe 6 or 7 presents from other people, which often leaves me scratching my head for enough ideas. I like the wow factor of the special gift rather than a big pile.

Stockings have the usual sweets and chocolate, always a Christmas decoration, a DVD and 2 or 3 small fun things. The dcs would be a bit nonplussed by the addition of a toothbrush I think

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Maybe the reason I give mine so much is that they don't have any grandparents and mine and OHs sibling's children are a lot older than ours and they also don't live nearby so they have generally always just sent them a cheque or money. Much appreciated by them when they got older but as small children it was meaningless to them to have a stack of envelopes under the tree. So, all parcels under the tree came from us, if we only gave 4 gifts then it would definitely look a bit meagre.

[BiddyPop]

DD gets a stocking and then either a few smaller presents or 1 bigger present from FC. There are both useful and fun things in the stocking, and it's not actually a massive one (at least a quarter or more is filled with fruit!!).

There is always a present for her under the tree from DH and I, along with other presents from relatives.

Tree presents are not opened until late afternoon, after Mass, visits to family living locally to us (my Aunts, DH Aunt, that sort of extended family) and while turkey is cooking.

She doesn't feel she misses out....

[BiddyPop]

Oh, and toothbrushes in stocking - don't knock it.

I have tended to do knickers, socks or hair bobbins as the "something you need" part, but toothbrushes are needed and useful to replace at Christmas, especially if Santa might be checking that you are looking after your teeth for his friend the Tooth Fairy.

The poem for stockings is below, and I would get at least 1 item for each line (possibly more on the "want" and "eat" than other lines ):

Something you want
Something you need
Something to eat and
Something to read

[KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth]

4 gifts each here, for all of us. A main present, something "useful", a book, and some clothes. That's it. They are all from all of us, no need for "to mum from DS1", to Dad from DD1" etc. Just 4 presents each.

Makes Christmas shopping a doddle too!

[WhatWouldTheDoctorDo]

I'm in the 'pile' club, but then DS only really gets stuff at birthdays and Christmas. Someone was once very sniffy with me about it, but her DC had pretty much all the same kind of things that DS had, it was just that she and the GPs bought stuff all year round.

DS isn't spoiled (agree with poster who said it's about attitude not possessions), doesn't ask for much on his letter to Santa and we avoid giving him tat.

There's no right or wrong answer, people should do what works for them and avoid getting into debt for it!

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Yes, those parents spending 50-100 at Christmas, I am assuming that they don't have games consoles/tvs/ipads/bikes etc that other parents would maybe give as main gifts at Christmas?

They might not btw, I am not making assumptions just that maybe overall the spending is more equal. I've never ever saved a bike as gift for christmas or birthday as I view bikes as something you have and gets replaced as you grow out of it rather than a prized gift. All tech in our house has been bought as gifts or purchased by DC with their own money. Other families may have different views of course and none are less valid.

[Hamsterfaces]

Well, you're all going to love me.

I aim for about 30 plus presents, and not a toothbrush or flannel to be seen.

I spend around £500 on DD.

We don't have family really, so no other presents to speak of. We don't get into debt, at all.

What's the problem? I bloody love Christmas. Nobody would bat an eyelid if I spent the money on clothes for myself, or drove a new car instead of an eight year old hatchback.

All 30 odd presents will be carefully chosen, and played with all year.

I once (under another name) posted a list on one of those 'what are you buying your 6 year old girl' type threads, and got torn apart

shrugs .

[MTWTFSS]

Hamsterfaces We need a separate thread for those who love to go OTT at Christmas

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I agree - obviously excluding people who simply can't afford to get too much, those who go deliberately frugal are like the "feed a family of 4 for a week with one chicken" brigade and meanwhile they are driving round in a Range Rover. I just can't make any sense of the mentality. Of course there is always the possibility that it's all made up for MN and actually they buy an average amount of gifts while telling everyone else that their DC get a satsuma, a toothbrush and a 2nd hand flannel and that they think it's wonderful

[wanderingwondering]

We give them a decent stocking of approx 10 smallish things (a mix of useful, fun and nice) from Father Christmas then one or two presents from us.

The inlaws come from the 'pile persuasion' and I can't help but feel a bit sick when I see how much they have bought for the dcs. I know they like choosing it and a lot is from charity shops so they aren't spending more than they can afford but it just seems vulgar to me. I do think the children can get quite overwhelmed too (I'm talking 15-20 presents each)

It's tricky and we try to balance it out by asking for just one thing each for them from my parents and others who are happy to be advised what to get.

[Shutthatdoor]

I just can't make any sense of the mentality

Well maybe they can't make any sense of the mentality of buying a large amount of presents 'just because they can'.

Each to their own

[CookieMonsterIsOnADiet]

Hamsterfaces, not a toothbrush to be seen here either. Neither do we do clothes apart from new pjs on Christmas Eve.

I remember a virtuous colleague who anything more than a stocking was consumerism and teachers children to want stuff. Then every week she'd buy a new top, magazinea, wine etc but not see the irony.

I don't like tat so prefer to buy decent items and spend more. It doesn't make my children spoilt. A pile of presents is just that, spoilt is an attitude and expectation.

[jorahmormont]

DD is 18 months old. Last year she just had a few clothes to rip the wrapping paper off and a stocking with some Christmassy bits for her - her first tub of Christmas chocolate (milky buttons).

This year we'll do the stocking - milky buttons, a Christmas teddy, some nice socks, a Christmas decoration - from Santa, a couple of presents from us - some nice clothes for her, books, a couple of wrapped presents -, but her main thing is I've managed to buy around £200 worth of Happyland for under £100 on eBay, so that will be set up under the tree on Christmas morning ready for her to play with :)

If I could afford to go OTT, I would. What's Christmas for if not spoiling kids? I don't judge anyone for going OTT or not going OTT, everyone does Christmas differently. I don't understand why anyone gets worked up over how someone they've never met and never will meet, and who lives hundreds of miles away and has a completely different family dynamic and traditions, celebrates Christmas.

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Pre victorians, christmas was just for adults!! 12 days of wine and over feeding ... its changed in just a few generations ...

[gamerchick]

I just want to say having thought about it that I want to apologise to toothbrush mum. That one thing upset me but I still can't figure out why, so because of that I was out of order. It maybe reached back into my brain or something.

Other than that your Christmas sounds mint.