Am i brave enough to change the christmas menu?

[mareseatoatsanddoeseatoats]

For the last 10 years my parents have come to us for xmas, and I seem to have got stuck in a rut of serving the same menu (we host from christmas eve to 27th). Last year i suggested doing something different and everyone pulled faces. Would love to just do something totally different.

I've dug an escape tunnel over the last year and will be using it on Christmas Eve.

The tear I wrecked Christmas was the year I forgot the Cranberry sauce.

I always host Christmas and cook pretty much single handedly. BiL and FiL will happily give the DC's presents to open while I am in the kitchen

What has worked really well for us the last couple of years is swapping round our Christmas lunch and picky tea. So now we have a buffet at lunchtime, just Christmas Eve's ham and nice cheeses and salad. Then everyone clears the table away and we set up board games on the table and I am sort of half involved in that and pottering around bunging the spuds in or whatever. And at the appropriate time, people clear away and the kids set the table and we eat the turkey meal. It turns the focus of all the activity to the kitchen.

Obviously this only works if you have a big kitchen that you eat in, rather than a nice dining room.

If you are shopping and cooking, OP, then you get to decide what everyone eats. If you flag it up in advance what you are doing, if anyone else wants something different, they can bloody cook it themselves.

I have never done a starter on Christmas day. I do takeout or buffet/picnic style on Christamas Eve. Christmas day, well it is my Christmas too, so while I will cook a Turkey, M & S is my friend for ready made red cabbage, ready prepped carrot batons, and ready made bacon wraps, I use M&S Gravy but make my own roast potatoes and do my own parsnips. Minimal hassle, delicious food, I will not spend the day chopping veg while everyone else sips champagne and relaxes,
Breakfast is easy, lots of coffee and pastries/croissants. Boxing day , left over cold meat, mash & pickles. Plus all the nibbly bits out, crisps, nuts, chocs.

If you're cooking, you call the shots.

For the last 5 years or so, DH has cooked our Christmas lunch. It isn't what I would have if I was cooking (way too low on trimmings) but since I can just loll about drinking wine and eating chocolate and making a huge production out of setting the table, I'm not going to complain.

I might cook this Christmas, though, because I like stuffing and chipolatas and he never does them...

This is a long-winded way of saying, it's up to you. Let them know you're fed up of seeing nothing but the kitchen for three days and to expect a change in menu. You might find they start volunteering to bring things...

Laquila, there is a brilliant Good Housekeeping ham recipe I do every year, involving orange juice, honey, white wine, mustard and cloves. It is utterly gorgeous.

PM if you want it and I'll type it up for you.

And I have to say, the year I swapped lunch and dinner, (necessitated by DS working at lunchtime) FiL pulled a big strop and said he'd rather not come then.

So I told him, "Fine, it's up to you". Of course he backed down and turned up.

Love to hear what others do, some pp have it all well organised. I am a bit less so! I agree with glenthebattle though - if you cook you should be able to decide. We don't have traditional turkey every year, I usually suggest lamb or beef, as we all like that better. Last 2 years we have had a turkey crown too, but have agreed that it's prob too much really, so prob won't do that this year. Have tried the m&s route too, which is fine, but again end up with too much food really. Keep it simple, mix it up, do what you want, it's your Christmas too!

We tried the M&S route one year when I was heavily pregnant, but most of it was pretty disappointing, I'd rather do homemade and less choices.

We tried the M&S route one year when I was heavily pregnant, but most of it was pretty disappointing, I'd rather do homemade and less choices.

They make red cabbage better than I could, and we have normally had a fair bit of Prosecco by the time the meal is ready so it all tastes great!
I wouldn't do everything ready made by any means but I will use shortcuts to make it easier on myself

We wouldn't have had red cabbage, none of us like it. Also no prosecco for me that year as I was PG. Maybe on a normal year that would do the trick though.

For me, Christmas lunch is something you only have once a year everyone looks forward to it so it has to be traditional (plenty of other days in the year to try something new). I would always have turkey, roasties (roasties are favourite in our house so don't bother with other types of spud) couple of other veg (say carrots and peas) and then lots of trimmings - stuffing, cranberry sauce etc. Don't bother with a starter as will have had drinks and nibbles. Don't make a big fuss of breakfast - coffee, toast, cereal something quite simple as who needs a huge breakfast when you are having a huge lunch? Then in the evening, if necessary depending on timing of lunch, a simple buffet with cold cuts and possibly a cheese board with the Christmas cake (again no need to go overboard - most people aren't that hungry especially if they've been nibbling on selection boxes after lunch). Christmas Eve I cook a ham for supper so there is cold ham to go with the cold turkey for sandwiches later. That's Christmas - wouldn't have that at any other time of the year, everyone loves it (haven't got any veggies or food intolerances to cater for) job done.

Having read the rest of the replies I'm amazed that so many people do three meals on Christmas day.

We have brunch and then mid-afternoon the big dinner.

Christmas eve is "something that can go in the oven" like a pie or tapas/anti-pasti nice stuff and cheese, bread and a winter salad.

Boxing day we have a big lunch but otherwise it's normal breakfast and there's always nibbly bits, cheese, crackers, mince pies, pudding and left overs around for anyone who wants to help themselves.

Add in copious amounts of booze and we all have a lovely time!

I'm a little bit unusual in that my Christmases are rather mashed up anyway - I'm danish so my traditional Christmases are different again - celebrated on the 24th, roast pork for dinner (always at dinner time), singing carols and dancing around the Christmas tree, etc etc, plus my ex husband was American so there were some influences from his side, and we lived in the Uk since my girls were little so they've always known christmas the way it is here. But as far as what date it's celebrated on or what time you eat dinner or what sort of meat you have to have, I'm quite relaxed about that because I've done it so many different ways over the years. What I have found, though, is that it's actually the sides that matter more. It's all the extra bits that make Christmas, so as long as they're similar every year, I find that nobody minds if I swap out the main roast.

We have lateish breakfast (croissants and cereal, we're not keen on cooked breakfasts of any description), a few nibbles around midday, dinner around 3 and pudding or crackers and cheese if anyone wants it (they tend not to but it's there if they do) in the evening. Never have starter or pudding with the dinner, it's enough by itself.

If nobody else is helping in the kitchen, then serve whatever you want.

Although I'm probably not the best judge, as I'm stunned by the number of people on here turning out massive meals with umpteen side dishes. We have normal breakfast and lunch, then a slightly fancier evening meal than normal (because it is nice to use the fancy tablecloth and plates every now and again). And I don't think we've ever cooked turkey, because none of us like it.

My xmas dinners have all been very different. One year just me and the DS decided to have sushi, ramen and ice cream for xmas dinner. Other years we have had turkey, spiced Ham, lamb with lemon and capers, a curry, Swedish meatballs and even sausage and mash!

The only thing we have every year without fail - my version of a trifle, cheese and biscuits with chutney and spiced biscuits for when I have a cup of tea.

I'd do what you fancy. This year I have no Idea what is on the menu. I think it might be the first year I don't have to cook because I've finally found a man who can cook :p

If you have a winning formula, why not stick to it? Is there any particular reason that you want to change it this year, OP? If so, then best to announce it in advance, otherwise people who arrive with a particular expectation will be disappointed.

Last year we didn't even bother with Christmas dinner We had no guests though and it was lovely just the four of us.

This year I think the world and his wife are moving in including dm who I predict will bring smoked salmon, shop bought mince pies and a second Christmas pudding. I would do spiced pork but dm won't eat it. Might do it any way and lob in a duck breast at last minute for her.

I think ten years of playing hostess with the mostest would do anyone in. Esp if people just sit there expecting you to get on with it.

I would let them know you're changing things and that they're welcome to do their own thing if that's not good enough for them. You deserve a break and Christmas is so lovely when you're not working through the whole bloody thing.

If you are cooking you have the right to cook whatever you like. Just do, don't tell.

Personally, I would try some different meat this year. Go traditional but not too different - goose perhaps or several small game birds. You can get surprisingly affordable and keep your ham for the misery guts. Just that will make a massive difference, but not upset people too much.

It could make it that year where everyone goes, oooo this is better than I thought, how wonderful.

In terms of ease (and again not too expensive relatively looking at how much you are doing already), when Booths release their Christmas range this year have a look. They do really good preprepared stuffed joints and other high quality Christmas fayre. Free home delivery for orders over £50 to majority of the country.

Like M&S but a billion times better (and you do get more for your money).

Lots of years when we've been going to midnight mass we had Christmas dinner on Christmas eve and it worked really well.

It filled the evening before going to church, everyone could lie in on Christmas day because the turkey didn't have to go on early, and everyone can relax.

We'd have a buffet of leftovers on Christmas day, possibly with a side of salmon or something if we had lots more family joining us on the day.

I couldn't eat that much food - we also do a brunch (smoked salmon) and then a late - ish lunch. Last year the dc helped at a lunch for local pensioners so we ate later, I did the ferrying around of them and "stuff" while nipping home to baste the turkey. We had a fab time. Ate our usual meal around 5pm rather than 2pm and it was lovely. Totally agree with this "Mess with Christmas Dinner at your peril! DH cooks with a detailed timetable accurate to the minute. Some things we have only once a year." - it's me with the timetable though .

Not sure who will be with us this year as one or more of the dc might be out of the country - but we will have "the meal" on the day.

Why don't you do a survey and find out which of your many meals could be pared down to give you more time with the family? My MIL gave up hosting xmas as she hated the cooking and I loved doing it. It has to work for everyone, including the cook.

I really enjoy the challenge of getting it all ready at exactly the same time AND at the time specified. I think of it as my nod towards taking part in a competitive sport

Why are you putting yourself through this every single year? The menu looks amazing and like a lot of hard work. If I was in your family I would be super grateful to come round to yours. But I would then host the following year. That's what my Mum and Auntie still do alternate, and they're in their 70's now!

You should be honest and tell your extended family that it is too stressful and too much work to do every year. They should understand because Christmas is supposed to be time when EVERYONE has a good time, not everyone apart from you!

Surely someone else can host sometimes?

It's situations like this that make me grateful it's just myself and the dcs at Christmas. They'd be happy with grilled cheese and tomato soup on Christmas Day, but are quite happy to have whatever is made for food.

It's usually:

Christmas Eve: takeaway , wine for me in the evening (while wrapping various gifts)

Christmas Day breakfast as usual, cereal, toast, if I can wrangle the dcs into sitting at the table long enough.

Christmas Dinner is usually turkey, roast potatoes, corn, green beans, yorkshire puddings (which the dcs would eat with every meal if they could). Pudding of either pumpkin pie or fruitcake later in the afternoon.

Christmas Supper is leftovers.

Boxing Day breakfast as usual, dinner is leftovers, and supper is usually something simple like frozen pizza or fish and chips (because by then we want a break from leftovers ).

Very laid back at our house.

That being said, my extended family has always been relatively flexible over Christmas meals, but it's always been a situation that every adult is expected to help out so nobody is stuck in the kitchen all day, and each family group coming is expected to contribute to part of the meal (pudding, cut up veg/salad and dip/dressing, bread rolls, and so on). Sort of a "pot luck" situation.