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Original poster

Christmas party dilemma - your opinions valued!

12 replies

saltire · 28/11/2006 12:28

I have been tasked, along with another , of organising a children's party for those on the section at his work. So far we have established the place, date and time and the fact that the party will be for those under and only those children of people who work there. However, the other woman who is organising it with me wants to invite the children of someone who left the place back in April, has four chiudlren under 5, and still lives nearby. her reasoning being that he still pops into work to visit. My argument is that the party is only for those who work there, and if we invite him, then where do we stop. So, tell me honestly, am i just being mean, or have i got it right.
What would you all do?

OP posts:
Original poster
saltire · 28/11/2006 12:30

That should read - that party is for those under 10

OP posts:
Original poster
saltire · 28/11/2006 12:39

Bump

OP posts:
Surfermum · 28/11/2006 12:41

I think I'd be inclined to invite them plus any other children of staff who have left during 2006. I'd also maybe check with whoever is footing the bill that it was OK.

Original poster
saltire · 28/11/2006 12:43

Thanks surfermum. The bill is being paid out of the funds, which everyone who works there contributes to over the year.

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Surfermum · 28/11/2006 12:46

Well in that case I'd put it to the staff. I think if I were contributing to a party I'd want to be asked. It is another 4 children after all, not just slipping 1 more in.

Original poster
saltire · 28/11/2006 12:53

They also have two older children, aged 12 and 13, and would probably bring them as well, which may cause problems.
I'm just really not sure what to do, and i know i must sound like a complete cow not watnign to invite them. I know if they don't there will be trouble. The man has already had a go at me in the nursery (in front of all the children and parents) because a poster was put up in the office asking for names of those wishing to go to the adults night out. The list got full - 34 names - and then he had a go at me because he hadn't been asked, and he didn't know about it etc etc. It wasn't even anything to do with me, i never organised it.

OP posts:
Surfermum · 29/11/2006 10:01

Oh dear, sounds like you've taken on a bit of a headache. Were you volunteered or did you offer?

Original poster
saltire · 29/11/2006 10:03

i happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time surfermum!
Still not resolved it, feel like a right cow, but at the same time feel that he doesn't work there any more, and if we invite his kids then we have to invite all those who have left the place.`

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kickassangel · 29/11/2006 13:07

check with the office, and create an iron fast rule. ONLY children under 10, no siblings, and decide if people who left during the year are included. Presumably he paid into the fund until he lfet, so has some 'right'. But make a rule and stick to it.

Why's he still popping into the office if he doesn't work there? Does he have nothing better to do? Sounds like sad David Brent style who can't moveon. And why would he be asked to the office outing? He doesn't work there any more
btw, my work only invites people who are currently there, even if you're on maternity leave you don't go!

Original poster
saltire · 29/11/2006 13:23

kickass, there are two others who have a child over 10 as well as a younger one and they have accepted it. its a difficult situation to describe without giving my RL identity away too much. DH is military, the guy i am on about wasn't actually at work from Christmas of last year, he had something wrong. Anyway he was dishcarged and his finish date was april. The reson he hangs around the office so much is because DH's boss thinks this guy is great, just the bees knees, and can't get that no one else likes him that much - due to the fact that they "carried" him at work for three years.
My point is that he doesn't work there, and technically hasn't for almost a year, so why should he and his 4 (or 6 if you include the older 2) kids go to the party.

OP posts:
kickassangel · 29/11/2006 14:04

make a rule & stick to it. if he tries to break it, then could you threaten to cancel the whole party? or burst into tears & tell everyone that your doctor has told you to do too much because of the stress he's causing you? presumably you're doing everyone a favour, and if they don't like him they'll all be on your side. also, seriously, how are you covered for insurance? if one of his dc's is involved in an accident, and shouldn't even be there? make a rule, witck to it. if he shouts, you'll get a lot of sympathy, and what else can he do?

(all questions are rhetorical, don't mean to pry into rl)

kickassangel · 29/11/2006 14:08

btw, i know we don't know the whole picture, but i'm genuinely perpl;exed why anyone thinks his kids should be asked.. sounds like a lose & a bully. tell the other woman it's him or you, let her do it alone if she wants!
very stressful these things, though. good luck

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