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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Christmas without children

54 replies

Star2015 · 06/09/2015 08:33

Hi,

We're a married couple without children - children won't be part of our future.

How do you make Christmas special / traditions when there are no children?

I read the traditions thread and lots (most) involve activities with children, Christmas Eve hampers, panto etc.

I would love to hear from others in our situation about what you do to make Christmas special / traditions that aren't family/child orientated....

Thanks!

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SaloonBalloon · 06/09/2015 18:09

In my experience Christmas was most enjoyable when I was a child or when I was a grown-up child going home for Christmas because I enjoyed having those particular rituals and routines I associated with my family.

I am not a big fan of Christmas myself and as an adult have chosen on occasion to have a quiet Christmas on my own. When I was part of a couple without children, I enjoyed our quiet Christmases together, shopping for what we wanted, choosing nice food to eat enjoying food and wine together. You can take time over your meal which you can't with children at the table.

I don't think Christmas is better with children in fact I suspect many parents find the hype, buildup and general stress very difficult.

I think unless you absolutely have to visit/be with certain relatives you can make Christmas entirely what you want it to be. If you want it loud ans busy invite single friends round or couples without children, if you want to escape it go away on holiday, if you don't want to cook go out to the pub for Christmas lunch. Go out for a walk, hire a cottage somewhere in the mountains.

Star2015 · 06/09/2015 18:09

I've started!!! Just booked tickets for the nutcracker one weekend in December :-)

Really expensive, but I've always wanted to see it and couldn't justify the cost before..... But I've took the leap!

Thanks mumsnetters :-)

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PennyHasNoSurname · 06/09/2015 18:12

I think if DH and I didnt have kids (and looking back on the Christmases pre kids), we would

*Make an event if tree decorating with a festive film, mince pies, booze.
*Go out for a festive afternoon tea one afternoon in the City, followed by a bit of Christmas shopping
*Go and see a play/choir/musical
*Christmas Market for food and booze and cheeses

PotteringAlong · 06/09/2015 18:33
Grin

Sounds fabulous. By a glass of champagne for the interval.

Star2015 · 06/09/2015 18:51

Yes champers in the interval. I've got £85 in gift vouchers from work so I'm going to treat myself to a new outfit :-)

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Scuttlebutter · 06/09/2015 23:58

Another couple here without DC, and we've now been married for 18 years, so have built up lots of our own traditions. We both absolutely love Christmas and really enjoy it. Always a real tree, which I love decorating with baubles I've been collecting since I was a teenager, so lots of happy memories. We give lots of home baked goodies (DH is an excellent cook, and his marmalade is always popular while I'm in charge of chutneys, fudge and fruit curds). We cook the turkey on Christmas Eve and have a seafood feast while singing along to Muppet Christmas Carol. There are always stockings for each of us and our four dogs all have special Christmas collars that they wear over the festive season. On the big day, we enjoy taking the dogs out then come home for brunch (scrambled eggs, muffins etc). Then get changed into our nice clothes and enjoy a glass of champagne. Leisurely present opening and a few calls to relatives. We eat our main meal in the early evening - gazillions of sprouts, a nice wine, and of course lovely crackers, the best china and our favourite glasses. Evening spent relaxing, either with some TV or a film. Boxing Day and the days after is a mix of leisurely turkey sandwiches, enjoyable dog walks, friends over for lunch and general relaxing and enjoying being together. Some years, DH's parents join us, this year a very good friend will be staying with us, and I cant' wait! She will of course have a stocking.

I love sending and receiving cards, and I do masses of lists for presents, parcels etc. DH teases me affectionately as I start early but I really enjoy it and ensure it's never stressful. I have a special day every December when my favourite aunt (who's more like a big sister) comes to stay with us and we go shopping together. We make a point of having a Christmas themed drink in a coffee shop and visit some of our favourite shops. It's always great fun and gets us both into the festive spirit. Because I do the bulk of the shopping online, this day is just for fun and fripperies so it's never stressful. One of our local dog charities always has a little dog show the week before Christmas so we always go along to that too, which is always fun. Oh, and I always buy a copy of the Christmas Radio Times and the double edition of Country Life (about the only time I buy magazines).

chrome100 · 07/09/2015 11:15

DP and I don't have children but we are not very Christmassy at all! We don't even get a tree. However I love Christmas because we both get a bit of time off work together and get to hang out in the house in our slippers which is something we never do as we both have such busy lives. It's nice to take time to "catch up".

CarpetBagger · 07/09/2015 11:32

The problem is..you need dc for a while to fully realise how free you are without them Grin, there are plenty of things I would be doing DC free, the money you save!

I would going to theatre, staying abroad, best restaurant I could afford.

CarpetBagger · 07/09/2015 11:33

I've started!!! Just booked tickets for the nutcracker one weekend in December :-)

Brilliant Smile

Star2015 · 07/09/2015 18:30

Thanks so much everyone.

I've also booked a Victorian Christmas evening at our local museum... Can't wait!!

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Whoknewitcouldbeso · 07/09/2015 18:40

I would be going away for Christmas to be honest. Go somewhere different each year and chill out. Back for NYE or stay to celebrate it elsewhere each time.

Couldn't think of anything better!!

ChristmasZombie · 07/09/2015 19:24

Some nice ideas here:
20 Ways To Have A Delightful Christmas For Two www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/ways-to-have-a-delightful-christmas-for-two

Star2015 · 07/09/2015 20:17

Thanks Christmaszombie

Unfortunately whoknew we cannot take enough leave over Christmas to go away, My work is open Christmas Eve so I have to request as holiday and go into the pot with everyone else to get the time off. Luckily I have been able to book every Christmas Eve off so far, I dread the day I don't get it - I think they should make it a bank holiday!!

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Treats · 10/09/2015 16:30

When we didn't have children, I'd pine for family Christmases with romantic notions of what it would be like. Now that I have children, I curse the wasted opportunities......

We would:

  • Get away for a hiking weekend over the Christmas season. We went to the Yorkshire Dales and did some amazing hikes the year before we had DD. Remember that with great fondness now.
  • Or we'd go ski-ing. The best time to go! I know you said you couldn't get the time off, but Christmas Day is on a Friday this year, so you'd get four days off with the Bank Holiday Monday - you could easily squeeze in some ski-ing.
- Or, if we couldn't get away, we'd plan a really long cycle ride while the roads were quiet. - Once it got dark and we couldn't walk or cycle any further, we'd snuggle in front of the fire with a slice of Christmas cake and a glass of whiskey with either a box set or a really good film. - We'd definitely do a Christmas shopping day with afternoon tea, and then - separately - a trip to the theatre with a really good dinner beforehand. - Throw a huge party. I'm hoping to be able to do that this year so this isn't strictly a no children one. But invite everyone you know on one of the days between Christmas and New Year. Lots of booze, huge cheeseboard, all the cheesy classics on your playlist. - Go to a really good carol concert. DH is an ex choirboy and we both sing in choirs, so this is something we both enjoy. - And we'd plan some really delicious meals to cook and eat for the whole festive period.

I wouldn't miss Christmas with my children for all the mince pies in the world, but I would definitely know what to do without them! Enjoy!!

FeelingSmurfy · 10/09/2015 16:45

Do a stocking for each other, its fun trying to find little bits that will fit in a stocking, it could be your favourite lipstick, Christmassy tissues, chocolate coins, a pooing reindeer....

Wrapping them up makes Christmas morning more fun! If you have bigger presents too then leave them until later but open your stockings on the bed when you first get up

Taytocrisps · 13/09/2015 14:33

The two events you've booked already sound lovely! I'd love to see The Nutrcracker.

If it's hard to take time off over Christmas, I'd book a weekend away early in December and visit a continental Christmas market. Treat yourself to a nice Christmas decoration or ornament as a souvenir.

I also love the idea of the concert/carol service.

autumnintheair · 13/09/2015 16:21

Great op, sounds like you have some Fab things lined up. Just keep telling yourselves how free you are and can do anything or go anywhere.

Taytocrisps · 14/09/2015 09:47

Can you borrow some small children (nieces or nephews or friends' kids) and bring them to a panto or show? One of my friends has no kids. She and her DH bring the nieces and nephews to a panto every year. It's become a family tradition now.

BiddyPop · 14/09/2015 12:46

We DO have an almost 10 year old, but lots of our traditions pre-date DD, or are suitable even for adults only.

I really like to get to a carol concert or seasonal orchestral musical event in the run up - choirs singing carols on the street are lovely (proper choirs singing multipart etc, not just school or fundraising groups singing Christmas hits and standards). There are usually a few different nice services in various Churches around the week or 2 before Christmas, and in local music venues too.

DD and I always take a trip to the city in the last week or so before Christmas. It is labeled our "shopping trip", but I don't do ANY shopping that day (and DD is usually pretty much done too by then - but may have a few bits to get). It is mostly to enjoy the atmosphere, see the "Live Crib" outside the Lord Mayor's House and having a stop for hot chocolate/coffee and a bun to people watch. We may have a couple of bags to bring home, but they are fun bits - the real slog of shopping is done either before then or I have plans for late night or early mornings to get the rest.

Even before we had DD, we always had a tree. And whenever we stayed at home (not every year but roughly every 2nd year before DD arrived, and more on average since) we have a real tree. The fake still comes out the years we are travelling (so it doesn't shed everywhere when we're not around to water it).

The youngest in the household on Christmas Eve lights the Christmas candle, so show weary travelers that there is "room at the Inn" if they need it (Irish tradition). I used to light it before DD, and my DUncle still goes home to the house he grew up in for the job, as the youngest of his siblings (in his 50's!). Our family has always tended to take a few moments around the lighting to reflect on the year just passed, including thinking of those who have died in that year or before, and remembering the good things to be proud and happy of as well, and gathering our hopes for the year ahead. What a lot of people might do at New Year's but we're always too busy, and Christmas Eve seems to fit well.

We do a nice roast dinner - even when it was just us 2 eating. We did pheasant one year, and duck another. But mostly a nice small turkey. Not VAST amounts of food, but enough nice food for us and some leftovers. And things we like, so yes to pudding but no to cake, and always plenty of cheese. I've grown up doing the prep on Christmas Eve, so it makes sense to me (peel potatoes, make stuffing, prep veg etc) and then cooking is a lot easier on the day.

On Christmas Eve, we also do a hamper. OK, it started as a MN idea for DD, but now it's for all 3 of us. New PJs for everyone, a Lush bath bomb each for DD and I, naice hot choc (lumps of good choc on a wooden spoon to melt into hot milk) for everyone (I take an amaretti version, DD likes milk choc, while DH likes chilli choc or choc & orange). Dh also gets a Christmas beer (he likes different beers and I always get a small selection of seasonal ones), and I have my "Nightmare before Christmas" slipper socks in there along with DD's Christmas stocking. Our copy of "Twas the night before Christmas" is the bedtime story - which you can leave out.

I am planning, once DD is gone beyond a FC stocking, that the hamper will continue and that there will be stockings for everyone to open in the morning then. That we will all put a few bits into each one.

I am also enjoying, in the past couple of years, buying a couple of nice bottles of good wine for the celebration itself. So a bottle of bubbles (half is fine) for the cooking and present opening (done at the same time - pop in the turkey, open a few presents, pop back out and turn on potatoes and refill crisps bowl before opening a few more, and just relaxing about it all with nice music in the background). A good bottle for turkey, (sometimes I buy a 2nd, which we might open or not - and if not, use again another time), a half bottle of dessert wine for pudding, and a bottle of port to have a glass each with cheese if we are not stuffed (or cheese can be the following few days instead). Not getting blotto, just enjoying NICE wine at a relaxed pace.

We also have people in on Boxing Day afternoon. So we have various nibbly bits to serve (mostly M&S, but some salmon on brown bread etc that I make up - easy catering!), I make a pot of mulled wine, and we light the fire. Most of our neighbours like to drop in (including their visitors - we're a friendly street), and quite a few relatives who are near do too. And because it is casual, and all afternoon, there's never too many people at one time but everyone gets to relax and chat.

We used to like midnight mass before DD and usually morning mass wherever my Uncle was saying it as well, but go to family mass in the mornings instead now (between DD not doing midnight mass, and my Uncle being overseas, this works).

While a full on holiday may not be practical, do you get a few days off? So could you take a night or 2 over the season in the UK or a city break? We actually used to go to European cities for a city break in December before Christmas, Germanic ones are great for markets (Austria or Germany) and Paris is just magical. One year, we had a week in the Canaries in mid-December which was lovely and nice to see sun, but I tend to prefer a decent blast of cold (bordering on snow!).

And get nice new books to read, DVDs to watch etc that YOU want. So being able to catch up on box sets you've missed, or an old tear-jerker movie, or just curled up enjoying the escape into your imagination or learning new stuff. And relaxing about cooking, and baking too, is a great opportunity. Especially if you are working normally and will cover part of the holidays as well.

BiddyPop · 14/09/2015 12:53

Our tree has lots of decorations that we've picked up over the years on various holidays - mostly limited to 1 per year but sometimes more. They are nice to remember when we pull them out.

I also love lots of candlelight in those winter evenings. I have always, since I was 16, had one evening where I turned off all the lights except the tree lights, lit a few candles, and laid on the floor with a nice drink, pondering the year (separate to the family contemplation on Christmas Eve). It is always a lovely period of solitude for me. I used to do it when babysitting my siblings, as they'd be watching tv in the main room and tree was in the sitting room. And as the years went on, I kept it up - now when DH is at his work party, I grab the chance still.

MadrigalElectromotive · 15/09/2015 15:34

I am in a similar position to you OP in that we are (currently) childless not through choice.

One of the key things that has helped us has been to stop waiting for things - so, for example, if you like the idea of doing a christmas eve hamper when you have children, don't wait, do one this year, with lots of lovely treats in it for you and your DH.

Or do christmas baking, or an advent calendar, or any of these little things you might think that you should wait until you have children for.

You could even go and visit father christmas, although that may be a step too far! Grin

I found we had been putting our lives on hold and I am determined to start living again, and not putting everything off until we have our baby.

I hope you have a wonderful christmas. Flowers

Star2015 · 15/09/2015 18:05

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions, I'm enjoying reading what your traditions are.

Also Madrigal, I hope you too have a magical Christmas, thanks Xx

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ArialBold · 15/09/2015 18:11

I loved Christmas before the kids came along (although its nice with them, too Grin).

Festive walk and pub meal or drink on Xmas Eve. We're in London and used to go for a massive walk on the Heath, and then to a really cosy pub afterwards for hot toddies.

On Xmas morning, we used to alternate between a lie-in and champagne breakfast in bed some years, or a really early walk or cycle while the streets are still silent and then back for breakfast.

Total film and food fest after dinner (we usually went to family for dinner). Cheeseboard picnic on the floor in the living room on Xmas night was my absolute favourite thing.

You could find something Christmassy to do together before Xmas, too. Are you in London? The Royal Albert hall always has Xmas singsongs which are great fun, and St Martins In The Fields church has 'carols for shoppers', which is lovely and atmospheric and bang opposite the Trafalgar Square Christmas tree and above the Crypt (where they do mulled wine and mince pies every year).

Star2015 · 15/09/2015 20:00

Ps - I forgot to say I'm loving the idea of the continental Christmas markets, we can't go this year as not enough holiday left but for anyone interested check out holiday pirates they have some great deals at the moment (smile)

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Star2015 · 15/09/2015 20:01

One day I will get the hang of the smileys on this forum! Ha ha

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