OMG, I'm hosting Xmas this year!

[NotQuiteCockney]

That's not a happy OMG up there, by the way.

We've always gone to MIL's for Xmas. We had some big building work done this year, so we now have loads of room at home, and had muttered about hosting, but SIL seemed to want to host too, and I certainly wasn't going to fight her for the priviledge!

But for other reasons, it makes sense to have it here, and we've all agreed this.

So. The problems:

1. I don't cook the same sort of food my MIL does. I plan to balance between tradition (yes there will be a big bird) and doing what I want (I might leave out parsnips). DH wants to just have spag bol, but I think that's pushing it a bit.

I think MIL will just want the food she does. I fear she will try to take things over. I think I will be best off banning her from the kitchen? (SIL can sous-chef, she's not going to tell me off, and she probably won't cry)

1. I fear MIL will want to stay here for a week or something. Which would kill me probably. Also, she has a problem with stairs, and all our loos are downstairs, and all our bedrooms upstairs. In the long term, we were discussing getting a murphy bed downstairs for guests, but this hasn't yet happened.

1. Aaaargh. I've never hosted Xmas. I'm a reasonably confident cook, but feeling the urge to start doing the menu now.

So yes, aaaaargh.

Plan ahead, delegate and DRINK. That will get you through.

Oh god, if I drink, I will get in a fistfight. Well, not literally, but still.

I think planning ahead will be my refuge.

Dh is already planning to lock people in the other house if they cry or shout, which sounds like a good plan.

I hosted xmas for the first time last year after spending the previous 8 years going to my aunts with all the family. Thought I might have some of the same issues you are thinking of such as my aunt wanting to take over and me not doing the exact same as she does. Turned out she thoroughly enjoyed not having the hassle and said it was one of the best xmas's so far. Maybe your MIL will appreciate a year off for a change? If not, could you maybe give her a specific role such as keeping an eye on everyones drinks or helping set the table for example. Just a thought!
Definately agree with all ComeOVeneer's suggestions. Drifting through it all in a mild drink induced haze will probably work wonders.
And definately plan. Think I had my menu sorted by around October

Yeah, I could give her a "job" that keeps her and FIL out of the kitchen. I'll do as much of the prep ahead of time as I can ... I don't actually mind cooking, it's the stress around it that bugs me.

I am actually considering a goose instead of a turkey, though, as I can't stand turkey ... will have to look into that ...

Hmm, I am stressed enough about this that I just cut all my hair off. I mean, I meant to cut it all off, but it's shorter than it's been for ages. Looks nice, anyway ...

NQC, see my post elsewhere raving about goose - I think on Christmas Food. I thoroughly recommend it.

Re MIL. hmmm. Keep pouring the sherry down her. Put her in charge of vegetables and brandy butter, or if you really need to ban her from the kitchen (which I have to with my mother or I'd end up knifing her) table laying is definitely good. Maybe pack her off to church/midnight mass/carol service? And I read a great article once which suggested MILs etc should stay at a local hotel or b&b so that you all 'get your own space'. Love it. Even my mother agreed with that one.
Good luck...

Ah, but the point of having it here is because we have enough space! (And if she starts drinking ... well, it's not worked well, historically.)

DH and I are having Big Chats about all this atm, and working out:

• what we want out of xmas
• how much compromise we're up for
• how long we want people to stay for (SIL, BIL and nephew are not staying overnight, apparently, which is a pity, as they are good company).
• what job we will give MIL. Booze isn't an option as people in the family don't really drink. DH is debating putting her on "flowers" or "decoration".

Maybe a goose with a side of some other meat? I'm not much of a carnivore, at times, anyway ... Oooh ... goose and sausages. The kids all love sausages, anyway.

Pick up a copy of good housekeeping and slavishly follow their xmas lunch countdown - it's only a roast with knobs (or should that be baubles) on.

Oh, god, MIL and SIL are Good Housekeeping maniacs. I do like their cookbook, but I was given it quite soon after getting married (or even before), when I didn't used to cook, and was a bit offended by the whole "here, have this, so you can take better care of my son" thing.

Hmm, may have a chip on my shoulder somewhere there ... this will be fun ...

(The thing is, nearly every time I feed MIL, it's a disaster. She refused quinoa time before last, and some really nice orange cake, that various mumsnetters can confirm really was lovely.)

OMG my mother did that to all her DILs when my brothers got married. The GH cookery book. I'm not sure how many of them were insulted, but I sure as hell would have been, although I think only one of them definitely couldn't cook. Go for Saint Delia instead, but I bet she's got that one too!

My MIL has a huge shelf full of untouched cookbooks of all sorts. She only ever uses a GH from 700 years ago.

I think a cookbook is a crap gift for a DIL. Particularly as, at that point, I was working full time, just like DH, so why would a cookbook be for me? (Actually, SIL bought DH a Nigel Slater book, years before we started cooking, and eventually, I turned out to be a Nigel Slater fan/fanatic.)

oh dear, bad suggestion there . I read the xmas mag today and thought some of the tips were quite good, i'll put my pinny back on and get back in the kitchen where i belong (actually xmas dinner is about the only proper meal i do cook, DH does it all)

Oh, foxtrot, I'm sure Good Housekeeping are lovely, the cookbook really is nice (although I try not to say as much in MIL's hearing ). But it hits the wrong spots for me.

Oh yes, there's nothing wrong with GH. It taught me how to make a victoria sandwich when I was about 7. It's just the MIL thing... Personally, my fave book of that ilk is the Leiths one, and Gary Rhodes' New British Classics is also excellent.

Bet you wish you'd bought a smaller house now though!

I seem to have invited a lot of family this year (fair enough as we've been there often enough). I'm giving up and being sociable DIL - have even asked her to come over and help make pudding with kids! I love goose but due to huge carcass not tons of meat. We're going for turkey and pork this year, all boneless courtesy of m and s....

I am also hosting Christmas for the first time this year. We have gone to MILs for the last 5 years, as we did not have the room before.

We now have a nice new house with a big Kitchen and dining area. My parents are coming down from Scotland on the Saturday befor Christmas and my Brother and is family (SIL & nephew) are coming on Christmas day as are DPs parents.

NQC, what i do with my mum or MIL on Christmas day, is ask them to "perhaps play with the Ds and one of their games". I can't remember how old your are though so it might not work. We are having MIL and step PIL this year. Step PIL is great, so laid back he's horizontal, although he does like a drink and can get a bit wild - not in an aggresive way, just loud - but MIL hovers round the kitchen telling us what we are doing wrong. Mind you we cook our turkey on Christmas Eve, and get all the veg ready, so that way we aren't stuck in the kitchen missing out

My FIL is good with the kids, but a bit of a wind-up merchant, and will say pretty much anything to wind up MIL (he does try it with me, but it doesn't exactly work, to put it mildly ).

I think we have to stop MIL from sourcing a turkey, anyway, as I don't need them driving a turkey all over the UK in their car, and I do want whatever bird we get to be free range etc.

(Oh, my two are 5 and 2, and they'll have a one-year-old cousin here. FIL is very good with babies, MIL less so - she likes them, but she's not great at getting down on the floor etc.)

lol at the thought of NQC's IL's with a turkey being driven all over the UK, strapped in a booster seat

I'm going to make pumpkin cheesecake. Dunno about the rest.

A friend is recommending confit de canard ...

If you think she would like a more traditional veg why not ask her to do it? OK so she will be in kitchen but at least then (A) she will have something she likes and (B) she will be occupied!

Hmmm, the kitchen is reasonably big, but it's not that big. I'm pretty sure I'll have to ban her. She really is unbearably flappy in the kitchen, there are always tears and shouting whenever she prepares an important meal.

I will do some traditional veg, it won't actually be spag bol with chips for tea (whatever DH says). I'll probably shred and stirfry the sprouts, but we'll have some traditional roast veg probably ... potatoes cut up and cooked with oil and herbs, and some carrots or something.

Hi, I have hosted xmas for the last 4 years (both parents split up and sold family home and now both sets of family now gravitate to us each year). I bought Delias Christmas cookbook. Its got loads in it and is very useful. I dont follow it to the day (otherwise I would never leave the kitchen) but follow the guidelines and so far have never really had any disasters. You can prepare a lot before and freeze it. Homemade Cranberry sauce and proper giblet stock is bound to impress!!Good Luck!!