Mother in law from hell

[springerspaniel]

How the hell do you deal with the mother in law from hell with regards to visits at Christmas? Last year we spent Christmas Eve till after Boxing day with her, year before that I was pregnant and yet we spent Christmas apart because our suggested visit wasn't long enough. This year, I want Christmas at my mum's, some time with just me, my hubbie and my son. We have suggested the weekend before or after Christmas but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - that isn't good enough. My husband has tried to be firm. Has resulted in her in tears on phone, but still being a stubborn cow and him being cross.

I want to tell her where she can shove her christmas tree but its not my place and I end up looking as 'irrational' (my hubbie's choice, not mine) as her.

I feel like a bloody spare part (or 'uterus') at their house in any case so spending my hard earned christmas holiday is not appealing.

I just can't ever imagine a year where we don't either have this stupid argument or just let her win.

Easy............

Stay at home and start having your own family Christmas's.

Sorry! I'm really frustrated. We have the same thing every year and my husband and I end up rowing. He is not really that bothered but would like at least some time, just the three of us.

I'd actually quite like to see my family as my little brother is in his first term at uni. My hubbie is quite relaxed at my mum's too (it's usually me that gets stressed by my mum!)

I just want to put my foot down. She'll sob but ultimately I hold the golden goose (my son) and she'll have to get real. Brave words but I say it (to myself) every year.

very tempting to tell her how awful she is making you feel and that she is making you dread something that you should be looking forward to, but I know I couldnt do it!!

is your mil far away or are they local? and what about your parents?

I agree with Sherlock spend christmas on your own with your dh and ds. and maybe suggest that they do a 'mini' christmas with you all either the weekend before or after make it clear its not negotiable as you spent last christmas with her and its not fair to your mum and family, your ds is quite young so it wont matter if he opens his pressies early or late.

good luck and dont stress about it

you could also suggest alternate years with your family and your outlaws and on your own if you wanted

Do christmas on your own, then the week before - if you are up to it - have both sets of parents round and "do" Chritmas then, have a nice meal a few drinks etc. That way you don't have stress on the day itself and both sets of GP's get to see your DS at the same time.

Tel MIL that next year it will be her turn again, but last year was spent with her so this year it is you families tunr - surely she cannot be that selfish as to argue

If she still disagrees just say "Fine we'll have Christmas on our own and not see anyone - happy?"

Then invite your family over