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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Keeping families happy at Christmas (possibly another rage at the IL's thread)

9 replies

VanillaMilkshake · 02/11/2006 13:33

I am so cross , I have just found out that after over 30 years of hosting a family Christmas, feeding their family and creating a magical Winter Wonderland for thier granchildren and great grandchildren, my DH's Nan and Grandad who's are in thier 80's now face the prospect of a Christmas on thier own.

My MIL (she's their DIL) has decided she and FIL want the day at my SIL with her two children. And SIL in turn wants the day at her house not GP's as she wants both hers and BIL parents round. BIL rarely gets Christmas off so I do understand this. And they have invited GP's as well. However they have a tiny house that with 8 adults and 2 children in will be very uncomfortable.

Nan needs a footrest and Grandad needs a raised chair, for which, due to the size of the house there will be no room, and therefore no provision, so they have had no other choice but to decline.

Normally we would travel the 2 hour journey to spend the day with them, but this year we will have a 2 week old baby so dont feel that journey is appropriate. We invited GP's to us, but they can't really manage the train, but despite this, when they mentioned our offer to MIL she rudely reminded them that they would be coming to us Boxuing Day anyway - like they are'nt allowed to come to us unaccompanied or stay over, be it in our house or a local hotel.

I privatley feel MIL cannot stand the thought of anyone spending time with her GC unless she is there (including SIL's parents)- as she has been very sly in the past about things like this and uses emotional blackmail when you try to work outside of her motives.

I dont know what else we can do to get GP's included in a Christmas Day celebration. They are putting a brave face on, but I think the whole situation sucks.

OP posts:
marymillington · 02/11/2006 13:36

Could your DH go and get them on Xmas Eve?

They don't need their DIL's permission to do anything.

marymillington · 02/11/2006 13:37

If you're not in labour that is.......

Blu · 02/11/2006 13:40

That does seem rather sad.

Is there any way that your DH could go and collect them? I know it's a big journey, and you will have the baby, so it might be hard.

We went away when DS was 2 weeks - would it be possible for you to go there for a couple of days? But (and I don't know if you know you are having a planned CS?) your baby could be late etc, so I can see any sort of planning is v difficult for you.

Does your MIL realise they will be alone?

VanillaMilkshake · 02/11/2006 13:45

We had discussed the possibility of DH collecting them, but as I dont drive he doesnt really want to leave me just on case - we had early problems with DD and although no problems have been identified it's at the back of his mind about being too far away etc.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 02/11/2006 13:52

don't you have a lovely friend who could stay with you while he picks them up or a friend that could collect them?

joelallie · 02/11/2006 13:55

Ha ! My sil (DH's youngest sister) is like this. Her mum has looked after all sil's kids over the years, taken them to and picked them up from school, let them stay over night (virtually lived with her for months on end). But come christmas mil isn't wanted on board - quote BIL '..it's just so nice to have christmas to yourself' Selfish git! Which also means that mil has to come to us as meither DH nor I can stand the thought of her being alone . Sil has now split up from her awful exH so things may change but not sure that it will.

I agree with whoever suggested that your DH goes and picks them up the night before. Although they may be secretly pleased and releived at the idea of christmas alone especially if they are quite elderly. The year after we got married DH and I decided to have christmas to ourselves and I agonised over it for ages thinking that mum and dad would feel sooo left out - they had a great time and went to a hotel for christmas day and got thoroughly spoiled Are you sure they wouldn't actually like the peace and quiet?

kimi · 02/11/2006 14:02

Poor granparents.
My sister has to have a big op on the 20th Dec and was worried about being alone (and in hospital) for christmas, to which my 10 year old son said don't worry auntie xxxxx we will come and visit you no one should be alone on christmas!!!!!!
Maybe your MIL could learn something from my 10 year old DS!!!!

VanillaMilkshake · 02/11/2006 14:34

Joelallie - you have just given me a great idea for thier Christmas present. If we don't see them on the day - which will be decided shortly. I think we might get them a lunch at a local posh restaurant, including some sort of transport their and back.

OP posts:
joelallie · 03/11/2006 07:28

Glad to be of help!

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