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Christmas

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Christmas dilemma

9 replies

saltire · 24/10/2006 18:37

DH is 99% likely to get posted to the south of England next year. MIL and Step PIL are coming up on 23rd Dec and staying until the 27th. Because it will be our last Christmas in scotland for a few years. i also wanted to invite my mumand step-dad up on Boxing Day, also to stay overnight, and have a really good day with both sets of DSs gradnparents.
However, my mum wants my 30year old idiot of a brother to come. I have posted about him on one or two other threads. He is a selfish, lazy git. My mother runs around after him saying things like
"Do you want me to put salt on your dinner dear"
"Would you like me to butter your bread dear"
"Would you like me to wipe your ar*e dear".
Well ok, maybe not the last one, but i'm sure he would let her if she suggested it
She won't come up unless he comes, but DH and i don't want him, and we have told her this, he will eat and drink us out of house and home, sit around farting, and stinking the place out (and he never says excuse me, even though i tell the DSs to do it as it's polite), He will mioan at the tv shows we watch, moan cos he will be expected to the washing up with DH, PIL and step dad. I could go on and on but would run out of room.
So now we have reached a stale - mate. Mum wants brother to come and we don't. But we want to have christmas with the DSs grandparents

OP posts:
kimi · 24/10/2006 19:02

What would your bro be doing for christmas if your mom comes to you and he does not?
He does sound a pain and i dont think i would want him for christmas, why is your mother being so unhelpful?
Did you explane things to her about just the grand parents.
Would you have room for him to stay?
Not being much help sorry, maybe you will just have to put up with him so your DS can spend christmas with his grandparents.

saltire · 24/10/2006 19:07

admittedly he will be on his own kimi, if my mum comes to us. However my brother and SIl live in the same town with their baby!
My mum is being unreasonable because she spoils my brother and has done since the day he was born. He drives her round the bend and makes heer cry, and i honestly don't now how my step-dad has put up with it.
I am being made to feel like a really selfish cow for not wanting him there, but he would just spoil it for me, DH, ILs and my mum woulkd run around after him, and then moan that sh hasn't enjoyed herself

OP posts:
kimi · 24/10/2006 19:18

i think you have to be firm here then and tell your mom that you dont want him there and WHY you dont want him there, if she decides to stay home with him then its her loss missing out on het grandchilds first christmas, but dont give in to something that will make you stressed and unhappy.

Tommy · 24/10/2006 19:38

have total sympathy with you and was wondering whether to start a thread similar to this myself.

I would tell your Mum and Dad they they are invited but unforunately there isn't room for him. If she argues about it you may beed to go down the route of "He need to take responsibility for himself"

Good luck - I have a 44 year old sister who said today "We have to go to Mum's for Christmas - we don't have anywhere else to go...." er....you could try inviting Mum and Dad to yours... (as a start)

Sorry - don't want to rant on your thread but do know how you feel!!

ANAconda · 24/10/2006 20:09

hmm - agree you should talk to your mum, but mothers are blind to their sons (many) faults in my experience and if she's happy to pander to it, I doubt she'll see what the problem is. I think you should make her take responsibility for this decision - it's grandparents only and if they don't want to come on that basis then so be it. at the moment she's putting the decision back on you and that makes you the 'bad guy'/

saltire · 24/10/2006 20:12

It's not the Dss fisrt Christmas, kimi, it's just we are probably moving to the south of England(from Scotland) in the New Year, and we thought it would be nice to be together with the grandparents.
I am really stressing out over it, as she keeps phoning me, asking what i'm going to do, and how it will upset my brother - well what about all the times he has upset me?

OP posts:
kimi · 24/10/2006 20:20

Sorry i was not reading it as well as i should have been.
I dont think your asking too much to have your mom there without your brother.
Can your step dad talk to her?

Peridot30 · 24/10/2006 20:57

Stick to your guns its your house and its your mums loss if she misses out on this christmas with your family.

MorticiaRed · 24/10/2006 21:00

I agree. Your house. Your rules. Let your brother ruin someone else's Christmas.

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