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Christmas

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Original poster

Refusing Xmas Invites...best way?

13 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 15/10/2006 06:40

I'm sure we'll be invited for Xmas with relatives this year now that we have a baby, but my fella and i have already decided we want to spend Xmas day alone with our son. (It's our 1st Xmas with baby, and 1st Xmas in our house)We don't want Xmas Day visitors either, but we'll take our son to visit family Xmas Eve and Boxing Day instead. We're not being anti-social (honest!) just want this one year to be special and private.

How do we refuse politely?

OP posts:

hauntymandy · 15/10/2006 06:54

say just that. Not unreasonable at all.

Original poster

DetentionGrrrl · 15/10/2006 07:00

Perhaps i'm just being a chicken- glad someone doesn't think it's unreasonable! I'm expecting a 'but he's our grandchild/ nephew etc aswell'

OP posts:

hauntymandy · 15/10/2006 07:03

well you have said they can spend Christmas eve and and boxing day with him and the other 362 days that are in the year. one day just for you is more than ok!!

scarymaryme · 15/10/2006 07:06

we have stayed at home since our dd1 was born, there comes a point where rushing around takes away all your time with your kids and dh. Now we have 3 kids it is our special day. We visit family on boxing day, or sometimes the day after.
This year we might not even visit until sometime in Jan as inlaws have very little space!

hauntymandy · 15/10/2006 07:09

having 5..we dont get invited anywhere!!

UCM · 15/10/2006 08:21

Get in first and tell everyone that you have a really special day planned - in your home together and bang on about it every time you see relatives.

lexiemum · 15/10/2006 08:24

we were very clear with family - we're staying at home and told them when to visit. we only have my family though - dh only has two sisters so with them we have agreed that we'll be alternating new years day at each others houses as we all have children and not prepared to be carting them around.

my family now join us on xmas day but the 1st year with dd1 they were banned but we softened the blow by suggesting things to go to - i.e. week before xmas we all went to the local candlelight carol service and on xmas eve we take the dds to the crib service which is brilliantly put together using puppets (muppet style not hand puppets from elc)- the family did this with us then home for a meal and a couple of pressies for the dds.

TwoToTango · 15/10/2006 08:57

Agree with UCM's suggestion. We have never had an Xmas day alone since having DD - only grandchild etc on both sides. With hindsight really wish that we had at least had the first Xmas Day just us because unless you have really helpful relatives who are going to pitch in you feel like you spend most of the day cooking dinner, checking the dinner, making sure everyone got drinks etc and before you know it your LO has had all his presents opened and you don't know who half of them are from.

KBear · 15/10/2006 09:01

Now is the time to set the precedent - how about one year at home and one year visiting or having people over. This is what we do and it works a treat. We have our friends here alternate years and go to my mums alternate years and always MIL's on Boxing Day. Been like that since I met DH 15 years ago.

Just say, we really want a quiet Christmas at home on our own this year but how about you all come next year? That way you're not on the back foot and you've suggested that you do want to spend Christmas with them but not this year! Might work.

TwoToTango · 15/10/2006 09:12

Spot on KBear. Wish I'd come on here and asked for advice on the subject a few years ago!

Original poster

DetentionGrrrl · 15/10/2006 09:15

Yes, good idea UMC...shall start going on about it from now until December!

OP posts:

noonar · 15/10/2006 09:32

i must be the only one who likes having my family and the in laws over. we do it every year. we stay home but, but have about 10 people over.

we provide the venue and some food, but mil brings the turkey, others bring pud etc. we set the table, buy the booze, and my brothers cook! imy girls are 2 and 4 and i find that dd2 is still a handful, so for dh and i to make it all festive and cook by ourselves would be hard work! our families are and odd mix, but we all get a bit pissed so it doesnt matter. they do everything on the day, including entertaining the girls.

dh and i work hard beforehand to make the house look nice, but once the visitors arrive, most of our work is done. i would love to have an xmas with just us, in some ways, but then i'd have to cook!

quite agree with the poster who said to sort it now, months ahead.

JodieG1 · 15/10/2006 13:50

We have it like Noonar except we provide everything and I do all the cooking and preparing, I do love baking and cooking though so it's no trouble for me. We're due to have 10-12 people this year and also a newborn (probably). The kids dd 4 and ds almost 3 love seeing their grandparens and great grandads at Christmas and I really feel it's a special family time. I might even get to have a glass of champers if the baby is born

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