Oh help! Do I give him this or not?!

[Thistledew]

DH and I had a discussion a few months ago and agreed that we "wouldn't go overboard" with presents for each other this Christmas as we are saving up for some work on the house.

Stupidly, we didn't agree a budget.

I have been quite inspired this year with presents and have got him two 'main' gifts and 4 stocking-filler things. The total value of these is about what I have spent in previous years.

The thing that I am fretting about is whether two 'main' gifts would count as 'going overboard'.

I can't work out whether to give him both and risk a) having gone beyond our agreement and b) putting him in the awkward position of not having bought me as much.

Can anyone come up with a genius way of subtly canvassing his level of gifts to me, so I can work out how to match it?

I tend to be the more frugal one in the relationship anyway, although we are both sensible with money. I don't want to come across as too mean! There is another significant event coming up for which I could give him one of the two presents, so it wouldn't go to waste.

What should I do?

Can't you just wait and see what he gives you? Hold one back and whip it out if it's "necessary"?

:-) could get tricky if your DH decides to hold one of his back and whip it out once he's gauged yours! I think give one in the morning and give one after dinner.

Surely it does not actually matter if you have spent more. I understand with children you try and be fair but with adults surely it does not matter much.

We get what the other wants some years this is a lot bigger for one adult than the other but it has years to even out.

I fretted a few years ago when I got DH an iPad. He was delighted and didn't give a monkeys about budget agreements. I can't remember what he got me though, he is usually generous

Hide one. See what he's got you, then if needed, you can be like 'oh is there another at the back of the tree? No? Must have forgotten it last night.' Then go get it.

If not needed, save it for his birthday.

Ahhh just give him them both! If he hasn't got you anything as good, I'm sure he can make it up to you somehow

Just pretend that you got a really great deal

Thanks folks. I did give him both in the end and he loved both things, so apart from some mild protest about me spoiling him he didn't say anything other than appreciation.
I had spent more than he spent on me but he had obviously put a lot of thought into my presents so it didn't seem at all unbalanced. A happy ThistleHouse. I hope you all are in a similar state of harmony.

Happy New Year!

Glad he liked the presents op. Happy new year to you too!

Happy ending, lovely!