Can you top my rubbish gift?

[frankie80]

So first xmas gift this year, from my secret santa.

A box of chocolates.

What's wrong with that, I hear you ask?

1, they are alcoholic chocs (I don't drink)
2, half the chocolates are missing.

Anyone got similar stories?!

A broken biscuit assortment from a child at school but at least I could still eat the biscuits, some of the gifts on here are truly dreadful!

broken umbrella

This may out me...

When my DH was little, he liked the WWF wrestling.

His aunt recorded the programme from the tv onto a blank video and gave it to him for his Christmas.

That was it.

ResponsibleAdult- A tow rope? That's so bizarre. Especially as you don't own a car:) was it wrapped?

I've had:

Out of date chocolates
An iron
A cardboard box that jiggled and turned out to have a toy dog inside it. I didn't have dc at the time but had expressed a liking for dogs.
Cleaning products ( my house is clean so it wasn't a hint, more of a complete panic at having no gift for me)
5 pairs of giant white pants and 2 pairs of giant black pants " for the weekend" said dm helpfully.

Mine has history - at the time DP had his own restaurant , Christmas rush etc...didn't have time to piss never mind go present shopping...but one year he gave me 2 beautifully wrapped gifts
A box of thorntons chocolates and a bottle of brandy
I was amazed, wasn't really expecting anything ...except I thought it was a little odd - I hate brandy - (my mum used to give me brandy and water for an upset stomach) and was sure DP knew...
He eventually confessed some of his regular customers had given them to him as a gift and he had given them straight to me ...didn't want DD to think he hadn't bought me anything
So the next year I said not to worry I'd buy myself something and he could wrap it with DD. I bought myself three heavy duty reusable shopping bags for environmental reasons - pre bags for life etc, they weren't cheap, direct from manufacturer (I know its is really sad but it is what I wanted!). When they arrived I didn't open the parcel - gave it straight to DP. He wrapped them with DD. But under the tree were 4 presents for me - 3 obvious bags and a mystery one - I was amazed but really pleased I was going to get a genuine surprise...
And I did ...it was the manufacturer's catalogue
I laughed so much I cried ..

Meat thermometer from DHs parents. We are vegetarian and had been for 8 years prior to this thoughtful gift.
Meat cookbook. After 10 years of vegetarianism.
One year it will be a slaughtered lamb.

secret santa at work. Disney socks. And....an inflatable zimmer frame. I was 30 and a runner. Still don't geddit.

I've put this before on MN but my uncle, who is legendarily tight, used to get me and my siblings the worst presents - one year though, in the days of cheap film cameras, he surpassed himself and gave us each one very decrepit 200-speed camera film, split from a very cheap multipack. The films were so old that when we tried to use them they were already partially exposed My youngest sibling was about five at the time, and didn't even have a camera. Thanks uncle!

When we were at uni, my (now) husband bought all of my Christmas presents exclusively from pound land and wilko. Amongst other complete toot, thes included:
a small plastic globe (that didn't even have space for all the names of the countries)
some flannelette pyjamas 3 sizes to big (charming AND sexy!)
a small horrible looking teddy

From a secret santa I once got a packet of 6 green table candles (the budget was £15).

I never understand 'joke' presents. I want to give, and receive, something enjoyable or useful. In the past few years, from PILs, I've had:

wind-up chattering teeth
gak (that silly putty stuff that makes rude sounds when you squash it)
a number of ugly rubber finger puppets
a weird squishy tube - possibly some kind of stress toy
Brightly coloured cheap plastic bead jewellery
variety of cheap lip balms in novelty pots. I don't wear lip balm
every year, a fortune-telling fish
novelty elastic bands, rubbers etc
avon jewellery
a plastic snow globe with a fairy in it
a key ring with a soft toy on
free crochet hooks & knitting needles off the front of magazines
various tiny puzzles - the kind you get on the top of a bubble mixture bottle
variety of children's toys (this was before I ever had a child)

I am in my 30s. And they are always complaining how broke they are. They are perfectly well aware that most of it goes in the bin. A lot of the presents they give each other, end up in the bin as well. I really don't get it, why do they bother?

Works Secret Santa this year for me. I got nothing. And I can confirm I've been a good girl all year .

My sister got a used tea-towel from our gradfather once.

My brother in law got a life sized black Labrador from his mum.

He's allergic to dogs & has never owned/shown an interest in owning one!

A box of stick on moustaches
12 paper plates

Worst secret santa gift, a 5 gal jar of pickled pigs feet. Vom...

No secret santa gift this year, however, and Ive been a good girl too (i think).

Wow! Pickled pigs feet
You. Win.

Actually, this reminds me of a truly awful gift I gave when I was 6.

I was suddenly invited to the boy next door's birthday party on the day it was being held and saw the other kids arriving with presents under their arms, so rushed around trying to find something appropriate to give him.

God knows why but I ended up scraping together all the tiny ovals of used up old soap from the various sinks around the house (pubes an' all, probably!) and wrapping them in a page of my dad's Financial Times.

I duly dumped it into the hands of the poor kid as I walked into his house, scanning around for the table of party grub. His mum must have thought we were mad!

My MIL bought me a box of cotton buds one year, not even nice Boots ones. Pound shop time ones where the cotton wool bit falls off the moment it leaves the box!!

From our very very sweet elderly next door neighbour one christmas when I was about 13, I received a beautifully-wrapped frozen beef pie. That had thawed out.

First Christmas after me and DH got married his grandma got me a candle set except she kept one of the 2 part set for herself.

Next year I got a fashion jewellery necklace, earring and bracelet set EXCEPT it was missing the necklace

Last year I got a DVD that was opened and scratched (clearly second hand)

Can't wait to see what I get this year

DD always get some cheap rubbish that breaks as soon as she looks at it. First Christmas she was just 4 weeks old and she got her a make up set I was furious to say the least.

DH always got £200 game store voucher until he let it slip that I was a big gamer the Xmas after we got married that was the last he got, now he just gets smellies and socks.