SURVIVING CHRISTMAS - MUMSNET WANTS YOUR TOP TIPS

[AbbyMumsnet]

Yes we know, we know, it's only October. But before you know it it will be THAT day again, so we're compiling a Mumsnet list of top tips on how to survive all aspects of Christmas. From defusing difficult in-laws to keeping up with your kids' expectations to coping with countless car journeys to far-flung relatives, post your survival tips here. TIA.

better put the sprowts on now....

don't leave ordering online till december,even the 1st.I got stuck last year when amazon couldn't deliver until january.

buy charity gifts for those who have everything,I got my mil a cow last year.oxfam.co.uk

buy one bottle of bubbly /week from now until xmas and you should be fine.

If you have to spend yet another Christmas with the in-laws, make a list beforehand of all their ghastly little quirks and turn it into a bingo game.

Inspirational thread

We have already agreed to have our first family only Xmas morning and lunch together with no extended family. What a relief if is!
Planning to make pancakes together for breakfast, have pressies and enjoy a morning playing. For lunch I can?t decide whether to make special homemade pizzas, apple crumble and ice cream (both DDs favourites) or to try something elaborate. I love cooking but want to keep it simple and keep me out of the kitchen unless everyone is in there mucking in and enjoying it.

Now we just have to break the news to the extended family....Joy oh joy

"I think it is important to remember that no one is having a better time than you. Perfect Christmases only appear in Waitrose magazine features, with the suggestion of "Bucks fizz and smoked salmon for breakfast". "

So so true.

Fillyjonk: glad you like my list. This year I'm going to print it out and stick to it too!

Start your shopping early & aim to get it done before Dec 1st. Much less hastle than crushing round the shops with vast hordes in a last minute panic

(better still, do loads of shopping online !!)

Dannie, I just love the idea of In-Law Bingo.

LemonTart we decided to do the same as you four years ago when DS was 6 weeks old and he and dd had kept us up most of the night and when the in-laws arrived and got huffy about things not running to schedule. I would advise you to tell them early so that they can get used to the idea before the big day. Ours took it badly the first year and still have a snidey comment about it every year in the run up (I suppose youll be having your lunch on your own as usual). But a firm and brisk yes thats right but you are welcome to come over in the afternoon always shuts them up. The beauty of the plan is that they couldnt bear to be without a drink so can never come over till boxing day. We have had a lovely time every year since, we eat when we want and if the kids want to get down from the table to play we let them and sit and finish our food and get sozzled .

Also wholeheartedly salute the keep drinking approach we start as soon as the first cup of tea has gone. And we prepare absolutely everything the night before sausages in bacon, stuffing, all the veg and even butter the turkey (we get sozzled whilst doing this too, hic)

Abandon hope. You will only see it crushed like a fragile mammal under the horrific lorry of reality. Brilliant MI - still chuckling!

have lower your expectations but hope for the best
don't have a timed schedule
have fun
have more fun

If you're going to someone else's house for your festivities, check what their ideas of Christmas are.
Went to ILs last year....ds aged 1.7. Opened prezzies at 4PM!!!!!!!! what. Me and dh were gagging to go at 8am!
Also, if you have a MIL like mine (lovely but very odd ideas with little ones), take your own bloody food! She freaked coz ds wanted jam sarnies for Christmas dinner. And heaven forbid, he had 8 grapes.....the bunch she had bought had to last everyone you know, not just ds!!!

Advice. Dont go to ILs if you don't have to!!

Have to say one of the best Christmases we have had, was when it was just us(me, dh and ds) and a really good friend. No other family. Much as I love my family, I realise that they are not the most tolerant, go-with-the-flow people on the planet, and although they can be kind, they all have their own ideas of what they want (none of which are compatible with each other), so you end up spending the whole time trying (unsuccessfully) to keep everyone happy.

You are all so inspirational so I ask for your help. DS will be 3 months old. Parents and in-laws live three miles apart from each other but 200 miles from us.

How do we do xmas without tears as it is DS's first and without a major breakdown from me? When I even start to think about it at the moment I am that fragile mammal! Help! And yes I plan to drink.

HIJACK.
A message to all of us on the Due Dec 06 thread. Don't get preg in March/April 06!!!!!!!

I'm with the suggestion of mild drunkenness(just not this year!)

Betty, thanks. If you get a full house in in-laws bingo within the first 20 mins, I suggest graduating to a treasure trail where you have to fulfil challenges like "find out how much your SILs currently weigh", "find out the household income of your brother who claims he can't afford children and express it as a multiple of your own". Then sit with a large glass of wine and find silly ways to make your kids giggle, cos it'll really piss off the parents of the snooty cousins. Also, take charge of the dishwasher, especially if you have smaller children and are likely to be the first down in the morning.

Start off the day with ice cold champers. Lie around and let the kids run amok. Don't invite everyone until at least 1pm and when all the family arrive, pass around mango daiquiris and keep them coming....as it is quite hot for our Christmas, all alcohol must be very very cold!!!

Get all your veg ready the day/night before and place it in water either in the fridge or just in pans on the hob if not enough room in the fridge, saves on lots of time on the day.

I try to get someone to look after dd for a day the week before christmas so that i can clean the house from top to bottom and finish any last minute wrapping.

This is soley so i don't get stressed if things don't get done during christmas and new year (my holiday).

Have a takeaway christmas eve i mean your going to be cooking more then enough on christmas day.

try to buy plenty of the many snacks/buffet ideas available in tesco's etc, so if people turn up or stay longer you have some thing to cook quickly.

Also set clear rules that expect anyone in your house to abide to.

Allow children to be excited, noisy we relax what we expect from dd.

Do not try to visit every one at christmas it is for children it should be fun for them.

Agree to only buy presents for the children in the family and then only one each. We did this after present giving reached mammoth proportions and we had to take refreshment breaks because even the kids got bored. No one needs that amount of presents, and none of us could afford it anyway.If that is not possible then I like the idea of only gifts for adults that you can eat,drink, or read and cost less than £10.00. When I met my partner just before Christmas 4 years ago we agreed absolutely no presents, not even silly or stocking presents. We also agreed no presents to other members of the family. We have absolutely stuck to this and everyone else has been happy to do this. Instead we make a much bigger fuss of birthdays which luckily for us are quite evenly spread throughout the year. P.s thank you so much to Sandyballs for the link to the in laws/holiday thread. And also to Crackle for sharing her stories. I laughed all morning when I read it. Feel so sorry for you both but my Christmas is already looking better with the prospect of more stories from your bonkers in laws. Makes my family look almost sane! .

Just thought of a #9 to add to my list. Also in the spirit of minimalism, beyond the Christmas day meals, a Christmas cake, a batch of home-made mince pies, dates and some extra fruit and fruit juice, we don't have any other 'Christmas' food in the house. No extra biscuits, chocolates, sweets, cakes, ham etc. There is always an opportunity to over-eat at somebody else's house and by the 27th I'm completely done with food any more elaborate or unusual than baked beans on toast.

Cards: to avoid having to buy lots of special "MIL" "SIL" "Auntie" cards etc start taking photos of children in Oct/ Nov-the best ones I found were taken outside in autumn leaves in jumpers and wellie boots then buy Christmassy photo frame cards (somewhere like Hobbycraft) and use those. Much cheaper and much less stressful than the alternative and at least people keep them.

As regards presents we have to buy for loads of kids other than our own so I get a good catalogue of jigsaws or books-Orchard Toys for jigs and games and M & S for books and just order a job lot in late October. Again much less stress and just have to wait in for one delivery.

I am a sad muppet and save for Xmas all year round. This means I can buy something when I see it. Husband of 11 years still asks each year "how are we paying for Christmas?"

We did buy everyone panto tickets one year and altho we had lovely time it was false economy as we felt empty handed on Christmas day so bought lots of extras.

Keep a small amount of hash to nibble on should things start to get too much. It's very good for smoothing off the edges.

We're having Xmas dinner on Xmas eve this year, so it gets all the fuss and the mess out of the way, so christmas day can be totally spent with the kids, no-one is tied up in the kitchen all day! Also your not constantly telling the kids they can't eat the pile of chocolate they've just unwrapped for fear of spoiling lunch - but theres plenty of cold turkey for those traditional sarnies (if you'v got room after all the sweets)

PMSL Batters at you with the ear plugs! Superb!

Pamina3 - I wish my parents had taken your advice, "Santa" broke my new barbie house when he was try to erect it when I was 7 and he said shit - I heard him from my bunk bed!

Sandyballs - your family sounds hilarious! I'll be looking for the Christmas diary post.

We'll have no kids at our christmas this year, just 5 adults and so the champers and pressies will start at 12noon and end at 12midnight as we watch each other open every present and stop for courses of our dinner throughout the day. Perfect.

Mercedes - would humbly suggest that you tell both sets of ILs that you are having Christmas on your own this year, as it's DS's first, but that you'd like to come and visit afterwards.
We've done this for yonks and they're used to it now. Actually, even better, is to get the visits over with the weekend BEFORE Crimble so the dread of having to prise ourselves out of our house & routine and drive to the other side of the country isn't hanging over us. We use the excuse of wanting DCH to wake in their own beds.

The first year we told MIL we wouldn't be there on the day, I don't think she believed us. DH had told her.(I finally got him to see sense.)I'd just put our turkey on to cook on Christmas Eve when the phone rang - MIL in hysterics. She begged DH him to come 'home' after all, told him that there'd be an empty chair at the dining table for him. Reminded me of Macbeth. Note not begging me to come.
Anyway, our first Christmas as a family was our best ever. Eat, drink whatever you like, watch rubbish telly without snooty person in paper hat in the corner saying 'We NEVER watch Coronation Street'.

While I'm on the theme, DH & I lived together for 13 years before we got married, but ILs didn't accept me until after wedding, in fact until DTWs born - never a birthday card, never asked after me. Typical conversation I overheard:
DH - "Yes, I'm fine, working hard, you know.."
(silent for a bit, then..)
"Yes, she's fine. She had a rose thorn in her paw last week but the vet got it out OK. Yes, see you!"
True.

My tip for a stress-free Christmas day - prepare EVERYTHING on Christmas Eve, and start in the morning. Lay table, get crackers etc, make bread sauce, sausages with bacon, prepare veg, put turkey in oven & set timer. Haven't died of food poisoning yet.. Best of luck!

tearinghairout - doesn't sound like your MIL deserves you to make an effort for her at Christmas. How mean she sounds!