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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Sensitive Christmas question..please don't let DC's see!!

32 replies

Bomper · 11/10/2006 12:01

My ds is 9 next week, and from things he has said recently, seems to still believe in Father Christmas, or is trying very hard to still believe!! Dh and I have been talking the best way to find out 'The Truth'!! Is it best to just hear it from friends/older children at school or should WE tell him?! Has anyone done that? What was the outcome?! When I was a kid I just slowly came to the realisation it wasn't true - don' think it was ever discussed. Also, have younger dd's who I don't want to find out yet!! Arse, why do we start these things?!!

OP posts:

DastardlyDevilishDior · 11/10/2006 12:02

My dh said recently that we should tell ds, because we are always telling him that magic isn't real. Ds is 5

cupsnakes · 11/10/2006 12:03

I imagine that your ds will slowly realise too in the same way that you did.
My ds still talks like he believes (he is 6) but then sometimes he will whisper 'mum, I know it's you really'.
They enjoy pretending to believe for quite a while.

Original poster

Bomper · 11/10/2006 12:06

Any thought on stopping his 'sharing' his wisdom with dd's once he does realise? BTW, I am just nipping out, I will return to hear your words of wisdom, so please don't think I am ignoring you!!

OP posts:

fortyplus · 11/10/2006 12:14

A friend of mine came up with a clever idea - she said of course some of the kids at school were saying FC didn't exist - they were the naughty ones who wouldn't get any presents from him!
My ds1 is nearly 13 and has never actually said that he doesn't believe! The other day he told me that he doesn't believe in God, so I said 'Honestly, James, you'll be saying you don't believe in FC next!' He gave me a cheeky look and replied 'Oh no, mum - that's ENTIRELY different - FC brings me presents!'
They're not as daft as we think they are, are they?!

hannahsaunt · 11/10/2006 13:09

Ds1 was 5 at Christmas time last year and we felt that it wasn't appropriate to be propogating the lie but found a fabulous book on the legend of St Nicholas which gave the whole story of Nicholas through to how it's translated into modern practice in different countries - was quite biblical too which we liked. Did mean that ds1 kept emphasising that Santa had been real but that he was now dead...Doesn't stop him talking about Santa and presents and stockings and doing all the lovely traditions but without the realisation that a later stage it was all some kind of lie.

UnquietDad · 11/10/2006 13:53

When we've got a good ruling on this, can we move on to how to do the same with God?

Tortington · 11/10/2006 14:25

i love the magic that comes along with innocence and therefore i would leave it aslong as poss. which will probably be aged 10 or 11 at longest.

we have older boy - and we just intorduced him to our world of watching their faces and not spoiling it for them - also he started to enter into the fantastic tale spinning when faced with questions.

also i asked ds1 if he could help me find hidingplaes and stuff - the usual just get them involved stuff you would do in any other circumstance.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 11/10/2006 14:30

WHAT?!

Whats all this?!

Father Christmas DOESNT exist?!

You lot are lying - i dont believe you - you talk rubbish!

KellyKrueger1978 · 11/10/2006 14:31

I agree with custy. My oldest is 6, and it seems sad that we might only have another couple of christmases where she really has all that magic. Christmas is never quite the same again once you find out that your parents are the ones buying the presents!
I think I found out when I was about 9 or so, my aunt sent me to the cupboard to get some wool while my parents were out and they were all hidden in there. I was totally shocked and immediately told my brother who was 6 at the time!

fairyjay · 11/10/2006 14:43

My two were both 10 ish when they found out 'the truth'.

We had to tell ds because he was getting into arguements with his friends at school along the lines of 'I know he's real, I've seen him, he's been to our house'. He was heartbroken when he found out.

He asked if he would still get pressies, and we said that as long as his sister believed, they would get Father Christmas pressies. His incentive for keeping quiet!

Dd was told by her teacher in Yr. 5, who said 'you're all too old to believe in Father Christmas now'. I was furious!!!

It's such a magical time.

TinyGang · 11/10/2006 14:45

Oh dear..I want my children to always believe in FC, but I'm a soppy old thing about things like that.

I haven't come up with a game plan yet - maybe, I can say I'm an agent for FC and help him out when he's busy. Don't think they'll buy that do you?!

My older dd seems rather sceptical about the tooth fairy, but we go through the whole thing partly I think because she's being kind to me, and partly because she's not 100% sure that Fairy Pearly Sparkle (as she's known here) doesn't exist. Anyway there's money to be made out of that one...they're not daft these children

emmatom · 11/10/2006 14:47

There was another thread the other day similar to this.

My 9 and a half year old came home last week saying older kids had said that only little kids should believe in Father Christmas, and my son really wanted me to tell him the truth.

I reckon I was more disappointed than him!

I didn't want to just break the magic, so explained that Saint Nicolas was a man who did good things a long time ago and helped little children and so, today, we keep that tradition going by buying presents at Christmas, and, yes it was me and his dad who bought the presents.

He was pleased he had been let in on the grown-ups secrets and enjoys stringing out the Father Christmas does exist line for his little sister.

Had to also admit to being the tooth fairty and Easter Bunny under cross examination too!

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 11/10/2006 15:07

I remember getting really worked up about this as a child. Must have been about 8, and I was crying and saying to my Mum 'but you have to tell me if he realy exists, otherwise when I have my children I still won't know, and then they might not get any presents'. (Was always of a maternal inclination).

I found out 'cause I got a Scalextrix (sp? Who cares?) from Father Christmas, when I'd asked for a train-set. I said thank-you politely, but probably looked a bit disappointed (spoilt little madam, I know). My Mum's friend was there, and said 'Oh don't be so ungrateful, your Mum spent hours trailing 'round the shops to get that!'

Heartbroken

Peridot30 · 11/10/2006 16:16

Agree with Crusty 2. Why cant we keep our children, children for longer, they grow up quick enough as it is. cant believe that you would tell your 5 year old that santa isnt real!! Thats the magic of Christmas.Santa is great for making them behave too "You better be good Santa is watching you" LOL

pointyfangedWeredog · 11/10/2006 17:06

Don't underestimate how much kids want to believe. Let him find out himself adn thn he'll spoend a few years kidding on.

And age 9? Don't you think he's at the kidding on stage al;ready?

pointyfangedWeredog · 11/10/2006 17:10

My dd2 has recently started sending long detailed letters to the tooth fairy and expecting replies under her pillow.

She's nearly 8 so obviously knows there's no such thing. But she loves making me write replies. I really can't be arsed with this but there's just something quite nice about her knowing I know but we're both kidding on it's true.

flutterbeebonfirebanger · 11/10/2006 17:13

I can't remember when I realised the dreadful truth, but I do know that I would have hated hated hated anyone to actually tell me he wasn't real.

To this day my Mum still tells me to behave or Father Christmas won't come and she writes all the tags from him

fairyjay · 12/10/2006 11:59

Pointy......
Your dd may well still believe, mine kids were certainly older before they found out.

kimi · 12/10/2006 12:50

I told DS1 age 10 that santa stop being "real" when he stops beleiving in him.
DS2 still believes and DS1 has not said otherwise.
We went to Lapland last christmas for a week and went to visit santa in his cabin, on a slead then a walk through the trees up a candle lit path, and it was so beautifully done even i beleived .
I think the magic of santa should be kept alive as long as it can tbh, children all grow up too fast as it is.
Although we have always told out children that mummy and daddy have to pay santa for the gifts and a pony is not going to happen

fortyplus · 13/10/2006 00:50

Right from the word go mine just got stocking novelties plus one large present from Santa - all the other things were from friends and relations but you could post them off to the north pole and get Santa to deliver them for you - otherwise how do you explain why you have to write thank you letters? I think that it helped keep the illusion going for longer - presents hanging around the house before the big day were no surprise. Also the neighbours coming in on Boxing Day had just 'forgotten'to post the gifts to Santa in time!

bloss · 13/10/2006 02:07

Message withdrawn

mymama · 13/10/2006 04:13

my dd is 8 and still believes in FC but I think there is a seed of doubt. Other day she asked why things Santa brings sometimes have a "Target" or similar label on them?? I told her that I didn't know as I had never met Santa but perhaps the elves sometimes run out of time and need some extra "help". I plan to keep it going for as long as I can.

Really don't agree with those who tell their kids to be good as FC is watching and they might not get anything. Find it really horrible and nonsensical to bribe children that way as those parents have no intention of not buying a present from Santa so what is the point??

Blandmum · 13/10/2006 06:52

I politly posted last year, asking that Mnetter didn't put obvious give aways in the title.

Several mnetters very rudly sugested that I should just wait to mn untill my kids were in bed.

Thanks girls, that was very helpful.

spookegypt · 13/10/2006 07:35

my parents also said the same fortyplus, that relations bought the presents, they just gave them to FC to deliver. that way we could say thank you. it made sense for us, why wouldnt it? i was still unsure at the age of about 11. (my sister is 2 years younger). it just dawned on me year after year that it wasnt true. didnt do any damage! first sign was that FC's handwriting in the card he left us was remarkable similar to my dads......

sugarfLeewhileyoustillcan · 13/10/2006 07:55

Jarm,you need to sit down

Sorry,it's so small.

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