a silent vegan for Christmas - how to welcome her

[Failedspinster]

The thread title is facetious, but this is a genuine request for help.

Every year we host a big family Christmas at our house in the Midlands, for our DC (this year we will have a 2.8 yo and a 4 month old), my mum, my MIL (who are both single) and my two brothers, none of whom live near us. DB 1 sometimes opts not to come in favour of doing other things. DB2 always does come as SIL always goes to her parents in Italy for Christmas. We'd love to have her here too, and she knows she would be welcome, but understand that her parents rarely get to see her and she is their only child.

This year DB2 has opted to go with SIL to Italy to spend Christmas together for the first time. DB1, meanwhile, has invited his gf to come to ours. He didn't ask me, which I'm a bit cross about - silly of me, really, as I would certainly have said yes if he had.

I'm now very anxious to make it a lovely Christmas for her as she will be travelling a long way and hasn't met any of us before, nor are any of us near enough to London (where they live) to meet her first. She is vegan, so DB1 and I have already discussed Christmas dinner, but beyond that I know very little about her, apart from that she's very young (half DB1's age), speaks very little, works in retail and likes to craft.

So here's my query:

• can anyone suggest Christmassy treat food for vegan diets? I will buy nuts and we are doing some baking the week before, so have added a recipe for vegan chocolate fudge to the list. Grateful for any help though - I don't want her to get here and feel there's not much she can enjoy eating!

• more importantly, has anyone got any tips for making guests welcome? I've never spent Christmas outside my family before, or had (non-family)guests to spend Christmas with me. I don't want her to have a rubbish Christmas just because we haven't thought it through.

I've friend requested her on Facebook and have some ideas for presents, but any helpful suggestions greatly appreciated!

Agree about OhSheGlows and reccomend their Quinoa and Black Bean soup...it's frigging amazing.

DH is vegan.

I've had to learn how to cook Vegan food and Oh She Glows has been amazing.

That soup...it's served with corn chips on top so be sure to get vegan ones...and also on top goes sliced avocado and cherry toms as well as corriander.

Make the soup before hand, and stick the bumf on top before you serve it. non Vegans will also like it.

Here...look at that!

you sound lovely OP !

Just be normal around her, point out what is and isn't suitable foods quietly (that you've gone to obvious effort will welcoming!). Perhaps give her a 'job' to do to make her feel comfortable like "oh, [DB] and [DB's GF], can you two do me a favour and play this board game/help build this lego etc with the children? Keep them out of the kitchen for me? Thanks!" then she is freed from having to make polite converstion with you all.

You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for all your advice :)

I've decided to use vegan recipes for all but one of the things we are baking (my mum will never forgive me if I mess with the recipe for the frangipani biscuits I make her every year) so that my guest is free to try whatever she wants. I'll also get the usual seasonal fruit and nuts. All our side dishes and wine will be vegan, and I'm going to discuss a main dish and pudding for the day with DB to ensure she can choose what she'd like to eat, as we usually have an ice cream based pudding (I have an awesome idea for banana soft serve vegan ice cream with Christmas spiced fruit, but it won't be much use if she hates banana!). We'll talk about general preferences, likes and dislikes too :)

We don't have pets but we do have a lot of board games which we will definitely break out :) we are very relaxed and don't have any real traditions or family customs as such. I love the idea of a warm festive welcome initially and then not fussing over her too much. I just want to make sure she has a nice time, whatever that means for her, so really, really appreciate all the advice!

Booja booja ice cream and chocolates (Waitrose do them). Utterly divine (ate far too many when I was milk and egg free while breastfeeding allergic DS1).

You sound really lovely. :) Your family are very lucky that you take so much care over Xmas. I'm a vegan. What I often find is that people go to massive amounts of trouble to get me stuff that mimics non vegan food, and - I'm sorry - but I often don't like it. And I feel so guilty. Because, you know, they have really put themselves out. You say your DB's GF is pretty young so she won't have grown up the way vegans my age grew up - with none of this stuff available - so she may have a taste for it all. But she may not. I'd ask her. Not specifically what she wants to eat - because you're not a restaurant - but whether she likes all the fakey/substituey stuff, or whether she would just prefer veg, standard biscuits that happen to be vegan (there are quite a few) - you know, the sort of fare that means you don't actually have to go to huge trouble so she won't feel guilty if there are bits she wouldn't especially like. Lots of vegans don't drink, incidentally, not necessarily because they are TT from principle but because it's not always easy to get vegan booze so they have got into the habit of not. Worth checking that too.

yes don't go mad! good point about asking about the booze. I wouldn't change all the booze to vegan. Just get a bottle for her and she can always bring some!

Just a quick update to thank everyone who posted on this thread. My guest is going home tomorrow and it has all gone really well :) we broke out the games and I made chestnut and red wine casserole for Christmas eve, then butternut squash stuffed with cannellini beans and walnuts yesterday. Today it was nut roast :) we got vegan-friendly snacks, wine and beers, and made vegan gingerbread. She says she's had a lovely time :)

Wow I'm coming to yours next year! Your menus sound fab.
Lol I'm veggie and had Sainbos curries Christmas eve, M&S nut roast Christmas Day and leftovers today.
Will definitely up my game next year and treat myself to something home cooked. Will cook something in November and freeze it.

Glad you and your guests had a lovely time.

It was lovely! The chestnut casserole is a Jack Monroe recipe and might be good to make after Christmas when chestnuts are reduced in supermarkets :)