Are there any families out there who aren't having Christmas with loads of relatives?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

We're going to be just us 4...me, DH and two DDs aged 10 and 6. I'm a bit worried about making it fun and special.

We are, and it will be a first for us. Not sure what we will do, maybe go for a walk, play games, watch films. Will be watching this thread for ideas.

OP, try not to worry . Could you sit down and ask your family what they would like to do? Maybe everyone could choose something they would like to do & something they would like to eat.

We always have Christmas Day just us, at home. We have done since we got married, which made life easier when we had DC as no one expected us to do anything else.

OP - if this is a new thing, then I would get together and decide what you want to do/eat - making sure everyone gets at least some of the things on their list.

We collectively decided that the things we liked about "traditional" Christmas dinner were the trimmings - so we have all of those, but with really nice fillet beef. That said, DD(8) is wistfully wondering what turkey for Christmas would be like (before we had beef we had goose - DH hates turkey) so just for her I might get a turkey crown as well this year - I can always chop up and freeze the rest until post new year party when I plan to make a big raised pie.

..but I digress. Christmas with no extended family is lovely and chilled and so much nicer.

Also used to have Christmas as a child with just me and my parents. Again we loved it.

Waking up, opening presents from Father Christmas. We used to go to church then back and open all the presents under the tree - I would pick one, hand it to whoever it was for and each was opened oneat a time so we could all appreciate it. We usually had loads of books and would then start reading them straight away. I was into craft as well so might launch into that with my DDad if had something as a present.

Christmas dinner then out for a walk, home and watch crap telly. DM varied the meal so we moved from turkey to goose to capon (a very ambitious year with much swearing coming from the kitchen).

We also had lots of traditions of our own, my and mum making mincepies together, making the cake and pudding, making enough Danish Christmas biscuits to last to Easter - hmm, they all seem to involve food!

My DM often worked on Christmas day - made me feel v important when we watched the news as there's always an item about people who have to work on Christmas. It wasn't an issue for us as we just moved it to another day, or spread the events out over several days - great, more Christmas!

When we were growing up it was always just the 4 of us at Christmas. We had loads of uncles/aunts/cousins in the same city but we all did our own Christmas day.

My mother made it so special for us. We had our dinner at around 2 pm and then after that all the rules of the house were suspended. She would buy loads of soft drinks, sweets, crisps, cakes etc. We didn't usually have that stuff and if we did, we had to ask for it - no taking anything from the fridge without asking first. On xmas day if we asked, they would pretend to get angry with us because we were breaking the Christmas rule. We had a lovely time sitting together eating as many crisps and chocolates as we liked, reading, playing with games and watching tv. Turkey sandwiches for supper and as late as we wanted to bed (another rule broken)

We have had christmases mostly with extended family or friends just because of where we live. Last year it was just us and I loved it - I have older children but we just relaxed, walked the dog in the woods, made a lovely dinner, and watched a movie together in front of the fire.

I'm another one who chooses to be just the 4 of us. This came after a disastrous Christmas day at in-laws when very, very young dc were just starting to recover from flu and were expected to wait til gone 4pm til lunch and to sit with the grown-ups for hours on end in the same room. Ended in elder dd having full-blown exhaustion tantrum in the bathroom during 'lunch'. She was 3 and still poorly.
Now we have lunch when I plan it, they can play with their toys, people are welcome to drop in for a drink if they want to (but dont tend to) and if the dc are tired/ill then they are in their own home. No driving, no eating late, no pressure. It's so relaxed not being subjected to other people's tantrums and tiptoeing around others in tense situations. It's so much fun developing your own traditions, too.

I'll be spending Christmas on my own this year because my ex is taking our DS away to visit friends in another country for the week. My family live overseas, and I don't want to impose myself on friends. Besides, I think being with friends' children would only make me miss DS more.

I would be thrilled to be spending it with a DH and 2 children.

I am. And have done for the past two years. It's my favourite way to spend Christmas! Just me, DP and DS. Relatives pop in for half an hour to give presents or we see them Christmas Eve. But other than that, it's just us. DP is working until mid-morning, so DS will open his stocking presents from Santa then the rest when DP gets home. DS and I will have breakfast together (pastries you just pop in oven straight from the freezer) and probably lots of chocolate. Then I'll start on Christmas lunch when DP gets home and he can be responsible for assembling the toys. In the afternoon/evening we just chill out, eat more rubbish and watch TV. DS is usually completely exhausted by then.

The thought of hosting a massive Christmas or going elsewhere just fills me with stress and dread! I like my home comforts and traditions too much to spend it with other people!

We live overseas and it will be just us for Christmas again this year. Christmas as I knew it ended the year my mum died. Anyway, moving right along.

I think it would be hard for my husband and I (no kids, never wanted any) to integrate into any one else's Christmas Day now.

Having people over would seem like an inconvenience. I can do without being someone else's duty visit too.

Our Christmas Day is so lazy ! We have a lie in, maybe have bucks fizz at breakfast, have sex, open presents, then get on with cooking lunch which will be our menu cooked and served to our taste.

The idea of leaping out of bed at 8am to start the roast, set the table, etc etc fills me with horror. Then wait for the appointed time of arrival, probably 11.30am to welcome our guests serve aperitifs or tea. Then get presents opened. Then serve lunch. Then wash up (people will help, don't get me wrong.) Then the inevitable boards games in the afternoon with copious amounts of chocolate (this was great up to the age of twenty something)

Then Christmas tea which would be prawns, boiled eggs, salmon, pate, cheese, crackers, salad, pickles and boiled potatoes followed by Christmas cake, Tunis Cake, chocolate yule log mince pies etc. Then there would be t.v. until about 8pm. Then guests would leave. The house would feel empty and would wonder what it was all for. Just the feeling of being tired. All the good telly gone, all the food eaten and the day just goes flat.

I just put it down to my childhood Christmas is the Christmas of a child with Mum and Dad, two grandparents, and aunty. Christmas in the here and now is an adult, grown up Christmas.

Over the years, through death and estrangements, Christmas just got smaller and smaller.

Growing up, it was always just the four of us. Mum, Dad, me & brother. Grandad joined us when we were younger. We went away once or twice to London. Never lived near my cousins, aunts & uncles so we don't do visiting at Christmas. They've come to us once or twice. We enjoy a stress-free Christmas! Family shopping day means that we go & pick our presents together, followed by a nice meal out. We don't go mad on food either on Christmas Day. My mother won't have tins of biscuits etc in the house! My fella is joining us this year, not sure what my brother & his gf are doing. Whatever, it will be a laid back Christmas, as usual. My mother doesn't even do a turkey...

My husband does have relatives in this country. He takes the view that he can visit them any time of the year not just Christmas.

It would entail visiting the relative of his who hosts Christmas on Christmas Day. The Christmas Day soap opera is fully cast, they've been doing it for years says my husband !

We can do without other people's dramas on Christmas Day, thanks. Best avoided. Also it's several hours drive from where we live which is something else that puts me off wasting Christmas at someone else's house.

Just us five and it is bloody perfect

We spent years being torn between families and now we point blank refuse.

We are at home for two days. Us and the 3 dc.

We do exactly as we want;

Lazy morning with a very easy breakfast and a glass (or two) of bucks fizz.

Present opening where the dc have our full attention and so can play with anything they like as soon as they unwrap it.

Turkey with all the trimmings - easy for us to do with just the 5 of us.

Walk in the local park with mew bikes/scooters/dolls prams. Always take bubbles from the stocking as well!

Home to a film, snacks, snuggles and alcohol.

Boxing day is a full english breakfast followed by lots of playing with the dc.

Just before lunchtime we walk to the pub and spend an hour or two with friends before coming home (just us) to a buffet style dinner of leftover turkey and gammon, cheese, nice bread and pickles. Nothing that's any hassle.

Then we play some more with the dc before catching up with Christmas TV.

No stress. No hassle. No one we done like

It's all different bits that make it special;

Crackers
bubbles in the park
Special food - we make a Christmas pud in October and make a wish when we stir it so its always a big deal when we light it Christmas day.
Funny Christmas jumpers (or posh dresses depending on what you choose)

The most important thing for us that the dc get our full attention for two days. No distractions. That's what makes it special.

Us. Every year. My sister comes to visit for Xmas but she's like a part of the nuclear family anyway - we don't have any other rellies on my side and we don't like the ones left on DHs side much (we did like his brother but sadly he died some years ago) plus they live very far away, so we never see them. It's fab. We have to get up at a normal time and get dressed because of mass, but once we're back from that we all out on our Xmas PJs and begin the countdown to dr who. We don't have anything special for lunch - were a mixture of vegetarians and vegans and so we eat what we like, not what convention dictates you should eat at Xmas. We usually get musical crackers and mess about with the fake instruments for a while, and we always play a board game, but those are really the only nods to convention. DD2 will be in panto on Xmas eve and Boxing Day so Xmas day needs to be a lazy one for her. We might watch a xmassy film, but we're more likely to watch a few of the older dr who Xmas specials again. We would all be horrified at the thought of having people over for Xmas.

Since we moved in with DH, we've always had Christmas on our own. It's still special, Father Christmas comes, the DC have loads of presents, we have the roast dinner and watch all the Christmas specials and movies.

When I was little we had our friends around Christmas Eve for a few wines( or a few more!!) Christmas would be just the 4 of us with a walk to local pub. The week between Christmas and new year we would all go to my aunts and have a big dinner
Dh , myself and our boys 11 & 9 now live in Australia so we spend the morning on the beach and the afternoon just chilling at home. It's great . We eat when we want and it's normally nice easy salads ??. Boxing Day is another beach day with friends

Always!!! I love it! We get to stay in our PJs and we can lick the plate at dinner time

Since I've had dd I've just wanted to stay at home, it's her second Christmas this year and we'll get up with my mum before she goes to work to open some presents but then it's just me and dd until my nan and her partner come round in the afternoon, I'll be cooking dinner for around 5 when my mum gets home so I guess we won't be totally alone
I'm actually quite looking forward to staying in pyjamas until lunchtime and just playing with dd's toys in the morning.
I think having a quiet Christmas at home is actually really nice and chilled, you can do things at your own pace

Last few years it's been just four of us, it's fab. One year we dressed up, last year we did pJ's all day. We opened presents leisurely, cooked lunch all together. I bought those little micro lego things as table presents so we raced to see who could build theirs first whilst waiting for the pudding. We watched exactly what we wanted on TV. I escaped for a long bubble bath, book and glass of wine mid afternoon. It was fantastic, no pressure to do anything, to perform or entertain. Although the kids were a bit apprehensive about not seeing relatives the first year we did it, this year they wish we were staying at home and not travelling to a big family get together.

We have tried a Christmas with my family, and a just after Christmas and NY with in laws.
Both families are lovely, but for us, staying at home is perfect!
We get to do what we want, when we want. We don't have to worry about pleasing others, cooking special things we don't like for others, entertaining others.
We eat early, at 12.30, then do a walk and spend the rest of the day in PJs. The kids (10, 7 & 2) get to play with their toys etc in their own house.
I wouldn't change it for anything!
Get some board games in too.

We have Christmas Day on our own ( dh, I and 2 dd's), we love doing it like this, much more relaxed, we stay in pj's, lounge around, play with toys and munch on food, on Boxing Day we have step children come over but it's still pretty relaxed, day after Boxing Day we go to my dads house. We don't have a hug family and not many young children in the family.

Just the four of us. Don't see any family over festive period at all. H goes to see Hus dad at some point but in his own.

We have it at home, though have occasionally invited friends who were looking for somewhere to go. I have made it clear to relatives in recent years that we don't have visitors over the actual xmas period - harsh but it was always so stressful and miserable with nasty manipulative and needy behaviour, and I ended up thinking, you know what, my family comes first now so feck off.

We have a low-key christmas and I love it. The DC really enjoy christmas eve with putting out the snack and carrot on the fireplace, they get new pjs, I go and ring "sleigh bells" (toy tambourine!) outside the window for the little one once she's in bed, though tbh it's all met with a degree of cynicism in our house, but it's fun anyway. On the day we have presents (not tons, we try to keep it calm and sensible because it is less stress for them that way, as well as for us), go for a walk, christmas dinner and lots of telly and playing with new lego or whatever. PJs for most of the day but we get dressed for the walk.

Tbh there is a part of me that feels a bit sad though. I know DP would like a big family christmas and so would I in theory. But his family aren't bothered (too busy, and they are not close anyway) and mine are mostly just awful. I do dream about an actual happy big family christmas where everyone could chill and relax and no one was pulling any dramas or having to tread on eggshells, it would be nice. I just need a different family!

Maybe one day it will come true when we're older - though I have vowed I will never put pressure on my DC to spend it with us once they are adults. Only if they want to.

Oh I forgot the stocking too - we all congregate in one bed for the DC to open them.

Just the five of us here. We spend alternate Christmas days with DH's family on their insistence, and I much prefer it when it is just us at home. Much more relaxing, we can do what we want, stay in pyjamas, plus my Christmas dinner is better than FIL's and I don't have to field questions from my kids about why they got so much less than their cousins from Santa.