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Christmas

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Original poster

I love Christmas but should I not get ds a present this year?

31 replies

firemaiden · 02/10/2006 16:45

I adore Christmas: all the preparation, decorating the house, thinking up presents and then buying them etc. My family never really "got" Christmas so now that I have 2 kids of my own, and I get to organise the day, I like going to town. However, I'm wondering whether I should give ds (3 years) a present this year or whether he should just get a small stocking.

Ds has loads of toys and he never really plays with them - probably my fault for buying things like train sets when he was just too young to appreciate them (got carried away as he was my first child ). He just chucks around the toys (we now ration them and rotate a couple of toys each week) or deconstructs them. To be fair, all he would really like as a present is a bucket of grouting or some bitumen or some adult DIY toolset to mend the roof, change a tyre etc etc. Obviously, he is too young for the sort of things he would like to play with but should I not bother getting him any children's toys?

This makes him sound really spoilt and he isn't really - I've made mistakes in parenting and he is less materialistic then I imagined. But I love buying toys for him and his sister and, although I've obviously stopped doing so in-between birthdays and Christmas, it seems really hard not to buy him any main present for Christmas (plan to buy a few small things for a stocking - planting watercress seeds etc which I think will appeal).

What do you think? Perhaps I have answered my own question by the way I have described the situation but I hate the idea of not getting him anything. What can I get a 3year old that he will really appreciate and use? Is there something I and the grandparents and all the aunts could get collectively so that he doesn't get loads of presents he doesn't use?

OP posts:
cupcakes · 02/10/2006 16:49

I think at that age it is as much about opening presents than what they actually contain. I imagine a 3 year old would be disappointed to be the only family member with nothing to open - it could fel like he was being punished. Buy him presents but there is no need to go overboard.

CountessDracula · 02/10/2006 16:50

You could get him an experience instead eg legoland or something? Or a trip to the theatre or cinema?

KTeepee · 02/10/2006 16:54

You can get quite a bit that doesn't have to cost a lot - books (from somewhere like the Book People), puzzles, playdo and maybe extra bits for the toys he already has - eg more lego or another train. How about dressing up clothes - they don't take up a lot of room interms of storage. Or just ordinary clothes to wear. I don't go over the top at Christmas, but I can't imagine not giving anything.

Enid · 02/10/2006 16:55

get him a bike? family could club together

I think if you love giving him presents then it will be too depressing not to give him anything for xmas.

Perhaps try and curb your spending next year?

SoMuchToBits · 02/10/2006 16:58

It's very interesting this. I think we all feel the need to buy children much more for presents these days than we used to. I wondered if I was imagining this, then I came upon this extract from my school book, from 1968, when I was 7.

On Sunday it was my birthday. Helen (sister) ggave me a knitting bag. Uncle Ron gave me a reading book. Mummy gave me a tambourine. Daddy gave me a recorder. Kiki (granny) gave me a sticker book. Grandma gave me a painting and tracing book. Jennifer (friend) gave me an instant picture.

Not big or expensive presents, but I was more than happy with them. And we weren't a particularly poor family I'd say.

So I would get him something, but even if it is a colouring book or a pad of drawing paper, that would be fine. You don't have to spend a lot on things he will never play with to make him feel he has been remembered and appreciated.

alexsCURSEDMUMMY · 02/10/2006 17:14

i have just been looking through the gltc catalogue and they have a bulid your own house kit with little bricks and mortar-sounds ust his cup of tea.you can't not buy him presents-how awful will he feel on christmas morning nit having pressies to open when everyone else has? too cruel. just don't go mad.

Original poster
firemaiden · 02/10/2006 17:40

Oh, that build your own house kit looks amazing. He would love that!! It says 6 years plus. So long as I supervise him, do you think it would matter if I buy it for him (he is 3 yrs old btw)?

Really happy to hear consensus is to buy him something! Like the idea of a day trip but think he is too young to register that as his present iyswim. I was wondering whether we might ask relatives to contribute to buying a shed/play house for both children to play in but it would be nice to get him something too.

PS despite all my good intentions I do have another thread running under Products on the best scooter to buy ds . In my defence, the reason I am buying one, and buying one now rather than waiting for Christmas, is that all his friends have a scooter and he tends to be a bit left out since, even when there is a spare scooter to borrow, he doesn't really know how to ride one so I reckon that purchase comes under the heading of social skills (that's my excuse anyway)!

OP posts:
golds · 02/10/2006 18:03

I would say buy him something physical, bike or scooter or mini trampoline,then at least dd could have some use out of it in the future. My ds is really into building (he nearly 7 now) but one year we wanted to buy him a tool kit, but obviously couldn't buy him dangerous ones, and he really doesn't like plastic ones as they are not 'real'. Dh got a tool box just like his and filled it with real tool bits, little clamps, raw plugs, spirit level, torch, tape measure and some plumbing pipe, elbows etc.. he absolutely loved it.

I have in the past bought ds things he doesn't want just because I like them or think he wanted them, ask him what he wants. I now always ask ds, one year he asked for a tractor Tom play set and a packet of chewing gum, you wouldn't believe how excited he was to see the chewing gum in his stocking

nikkie · 02/10/2006 20:44

just go for lots of small presents, the big thing is the opening at 3 they don't care about cost.Lego sets? tool set (individually wrapped?)

popsycal · 02/10/2006 20:50

a bottle of bubbles will keep him occupied for ages!
some playdough
a sticker book
loads of little things....he will enjoy the opening and so will you

PanicPants · 02/10/2006 20:54

Can't really believe you would consider not getting a 3 year old anything for christmas

Doesn't have to be big or expensive, just something to open and enjoy. Really like the idea of you and him sat building the brick house together

mymama · 03/10/2006 03:51

my dd's (8) favourite gift each year is a bag of sweets. She obviously gets other things but that is the one thing she asks for from Santa each year. Perhaps you could do as suggested and get him some colouring or books and some christmas sweets and I am sure he would be v happy.

eidsvold · 03/10/2006 07:08

Dd2 this year is only 2 - so she is getting a gardening set she can use in the sand pit - cause she loves digging and a slippery slide - things that we know she likes to do and use - always helpful - as well as her stocking.

dd1(4) is getting a mini tramp like the elc ones and some wodden furniture - stove and sink thing - things again that we know she loves playing with at kindy.... I know dd2 will also play with them though.

Something big like the others have said is the go at this stage.

sylvm · 03/10/2006 10:20

You definitely can't not give him anything but as others have said make it small. Kids love opening things but they can be really small things - pencils, book, items of clothing he needs. I wrap up socks, knickers etc for my two and most years in their stockings they;ll get toothbrush, toothpaste, flannel amongst other things (it helps pad it out and is stuff I would have had to buy them anyway).

It does sound as if he's had a lot of unChristmas presents and I really think you should be cutting these out as much as possible. At this stage of year mine would be told they'd have to wait and see if they got it for Christmas.

Radley · 03/10/2006 10:23

we aren't getting dd1 and dd2 much this year, dd2 has some toys that she has hardly played with from last year, their grandad and auntie are spending 150.00 each on them so dh and I will be getting them books, pj's and some stocking fillers, we are also going to take them to a pantomime.

mazzystar · 03/10/2006 10:28

I am planning to do what we did last year - wrap up things he needs like socks, toothbrush, new t-shirt, woolly hat, wellies, and some tiny things like stickers and a couple of plastic animals. And buy a £100 premium bond for him. Granny and godparents will buy some toys. He will be happy!

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 03/10/2006 10:29

Aw, if you dont get him presents he will think hes been a bad boy and father christmas hasnt come

ecomam · 03/10/2006 10:29

we have suggested to family that they buy our daughter colouring books, pens, paper - general craft stuff that will last for ages. she will be 18 months at christmas so she wont be expecting presents, but i couldnt not give her anything

UniSarah · 03/10/2006 22:00

What ever you do get him could go in a REALLLLLLLY big box to play with/in/under. And he'd have HUGE parcel to unwrap.

Like another posetr I have writen proof that when I was about 5 or 6 my fav pressie one christmas was a set of jingle bells.

Our ds will be 9 m/o this christmas, thinking of getting him a push along truck with blocks in. And will surgest to anyone who asks, books and precussion instruments.

Redlorry75 · 03/10/2006 22:40

Hi FM, I agree with UniS, get him a realy big box and dill it with lots of small interesting stuff. The Yellowmoon catalogue www.yellowmoon.org.uk is packed with small interesting things for curious children and a % of what you spend can be dontated to DS's school or your fav charity.

I know how you feel as we are exactly the same with DD. Could'nt stop buying her stuff until I fall PG with DC - due Dec - I know have her stocking shopping all sorted, we;re just in talks whether to put small packages of little ost under the tree or buy her a biggy of some sort!

Redlorry75 · 03/10/2006 22:40

sorry thats fill not dill (sp)!!

Skribble · 03/10/2006 22:43

My two are older but have loads of toys, so I might get them things for their rooms like a new desk and shelves, rugs, lamps, bedcovers etc.

ediemay · 03/10/2006 22:47

I love the 'vuild your own house' thing. I'm sure he'd love that.

ediemay · 03/10/2006 22:47

vuild??? build, sorry!

andyrobo237 · 04/10/2006 20:12

I too have been guilty of getting DD loads of pressies for christmas (and her birthday is Feb!) but some were from the Boots 3 or 2 offer or from Ebay. She got two main presents last year - totalling £50 and probably spent a further £20 on little bits - so she had a great pile to open, and the family all went mad as well - she was overwhelmed with it all!

THis year she is getting a Disney Princess torcu ./ night light, dora skates that she has been after since the summer and the little pet shop doggies! Max of £50 for all her bits - makes it a real challenge and she has no idea of monetary value!! People who spend (IMO) in excess of £100 per child are either stupid or rich or trying to compensate for working rather than being with the child! (And I am a full-time worker!)

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