Last Christmas, did you resolve to do things differently this one?

[girlywhirly]

Be it relationship conflicts between family, wanting to spend Christmas at another location, wanting to depart from the traditional food or even changing how you do presents or what you spend.

I'm sure that a few of us have said 'never again', yet would like a bit of help and advice from those who have managed to implement their changes successfully.

This is the first year with just me, dh and ds on Christmas Day (hooray!!)

We normally go to Sil's for Christmas Dinner (Sil actually hates me), and we usually spend a lot of time round my mum's. However my mum has fallen out with us, and as it's ds's first Christmas we have decided to mix it up a bit. We will be spending it as a family of 3 and I am feeling very excited / relieved

However, the one thing I have not told the in-laws yet is - I have no intention of taking part in their family "secret" Santa, and getting some shitty gift from Sil.

It's fairly obvious when Sil has picked my name out, since she has spent no where near the budget, and spent the money on dh instead .

Dh is backing me on this one, as he got a shitty gift too last year. I do not think it is going to go down well. I think I'll let dh tell them that one It is only fair, after all I told them we weren't spending Christmas with them.

Two Christmases ago I had my first one with DP and we both got the flu; me on Christmas Day and he on Boxing Day. An utter gift off!

Last year I had a two week old baby and we invited his parents and brother to stay with us. It was so stressful (although I did appreciate the 4 hour sleep I had in the afternoon when they had the baby) and they seem to think we will be spending Christmas Day with them this year. I'm leaving it to DP to explain we won't. Basically the 3 of us are holing ourselves up from Christmas Eve to the end of Boxing Day and don't really want to be disturbed.

Us too, have put foot down over xmas, we have been pressured every year and we dont get on with in laws year before last it reached fever pitch so last year DH said we were away and he didn't see them at all.

This year its started, the pressure but in a slightly less horrible way because they know if we get pushed too much, we wont go at all.

However, xmas eve is flat so this year, am going to London, to get some BUZZ!

btw aLL THOSE GETTING flu, why not pay £9 and get flu jab!

Last year we were alone the four of us, as it was DDs first Christmas. This year my parents and sister will be staying for four days.
Yes it will be busy - but I'm planning on cooking as much in advance and not trying to "perform" at meal times.
And in the long run the DC's will love having extra family over and it will make their Christmas. And as for me, I'll put my mum and sister to work if needs be, make sure the kids get out each day, and plan a secret emergency alcohol stash for me!

Houseon last year we went to London on the weekend before ( IIRC the Saturday) .
Plan was have a look round the shops, the lights then to Kew (we had booked tickets for the Lighted Walk)

It was pi**ing down.
The shops seemed dire and dreary like they'd already packed up and gone home.
The globe at Trafalger Square was damaged and deflated.

We went to McDonalds for a quick snack (surprisingly we got a table, it was busy but not overly so)

The DC were so downtrodden bless them. We took refuge from the weather in HMV and I did buy some games/DVDs

Then we had pizza and went off to Kew. Had to wait ages for the District Line train. Got there. More hanging about (in the rain) for a wander round Kew Gardens.(It wasn't as good as we thought it would be )

This year - no London unless we go in November or very early December. Hopefully dry and cold.
(We went one year to Winter Wonderland and there was a Blizzard which was amazing)

Oh no 70's that sounds awful how miserable!

I am booked to see show so have to go whatever the weather, but we are not doing lights as well. Going in a few weeks before to do all that stuff so can go on a good day.

Concentrating on covent garden area.

The DC were so downtrodden bless them.

I bet home and xmas day seemed even more exciting and cosy though after that!

Last year my DPs came to us rather than us going to them (DS is an only GC so there's always been a certain amount of pressure to celebrate Christmas together)
Their house is bigger, has central heating, is in the town etc so I can see why they prefer to stay there than in our draughty little, dog infested, in the arse end of nowhere, stone cottage.
However last year we didn't have to travel en masse up there, DCat didn't have to go to cat prison, we could go to our church on Christmas Day and our pub is nicer
We resolved that from now on we would stay put, invite them if they want to come and every once in a blue moon go to them for new year if the "but you never come to us" pressure becomes too much :o

I am being more "helpful" for gift planning for the grandparents (of which we have 4 sets) so DC aren't totally overwhelmed with stuff they don't want. One gift per couple per child doesn't seem unreasonable to me, but have been told otherwise. But sticking to my plan this time.

We spent many years with me either working christmas morning or most of the day travelling between pil's, sil's then my aunts for a late dinner. Since having the dc's we have cut out all the travelling on the day but instead I have hosted an open house on Christmas Eve for everyone to visit us. This year we have decided to visit all the in laws in early December and have christmas eve all to ourselves (bliss) then just my dm and dg on the day itself.

I have also cut down on how much I cook and I'm happy to cheat a bit in the kitchen too.

I'm also pretty much done with the present shopping so I can spend as much time as I can with the dc's in the run up to the big day going to the panto / grotto etc

Definitely. Bought too many gifts for DC, they're only small and became very overwhelmed. I also never wanted Christmas to be about the presents so I actually felt slightly guilty seeing the sheer amount under the tree. Youngest DC actually cried, it all was too much... So this year I've downsized on the gifts drastically.

Also last year I bought an 8 foot tree for the first time, it looked feckin' awful... Like Mr Bean's Christmas . So this year I'm going even smaller than my usual seven foot and opting for a six foot! Saved a tenner too.

This thread is making me feel a bit better about our rough plans for this year:

Christmas eve through to Boxing day just me, DH and DS.
Visit to/from mine/DH's family weekends either side.

I don't think we go super over the top with presents, one from FC, one from us, stocking plus family board game. But extra pressies come from grandparents and 3 lots of generous aunts/uncles/cousins.

Also pondering a flu jab now ;) - where do people get them from privately???

Sainsburys pharmacies offer the flu jab for £9 isitmeor.

No turkey! We don't like it very much and there's always loads left over that inevitably goes in the bin. Every year I swither over it, then think 'it's only once a year' and every year I regret it! As I binned approximately thirty quid a few days after Boxing Day I made a very strong mental note not to buy turkey again.

Also pondering a flu jab now ;) - where do people get them from privately???

Most large superamrkets with a pharmacy, boots, sainsburies, tesco etc, ring their pharmacy and ask,

We get our from sanibruies was £9. I got the children done at a health clinci as supermarkets wont do them, it was 15 each for them to get done.

Have spent the last 8 years pleasing both families by doing Christmas Day twice ( repeat on Boxing Day alternate years to each family ) but we have moved quite some distance this year & will be being 'selfish' - just us doing midnight mass on Christmas Eve, stockings followed by a walk on the beach, Christmas Dinner & presents from under the tree, Doctor Who, Baileys & the fire :) Bliss! Xxx

Last year I didn't go to my mums for the first time (I'm in my forties!).
DP and I went to friends- 14 people having fun, enjoying the day with lovely food and wine, rather than stress and arguments. Wish I'd done it years ago.

This year's fun is going to the Harry Potter Studios whilst it's all Christmassed-up. This is at the end of Nov so hopefully it will make me begin to feel festive!

I always plan not to get as stressed as the previous year,not to buy as much tat for the dd's and not to bother cooking a big dinner as no one really wants to eat it ( dd1 is very fussy and dh isn't too bothered about Turkey ).

We may be doing Secret Santa, this year after all, just to keep the peace

We spent Christmas at home, just the 3 of us and it was lovely. We did it the previous year too and it's my favourite way to spend Christmas. I sometimes think I like the thought of big, family Christmas like you see on the adverts. All the family piled round the table etc. But then I remember that I like space and my own company and I get stressed after a few hours with my parents on a normal day nevermind Christmas!

DP's DM (who we don't really get on with - he was NC with her for years) has suggested his two teen siblings come to us for Christmas. No idea why she doesn't want to spend Christmas with them herself! DP would like to but we really don't have to the room and I know this sounds a bit selfish, but DS is at the age where he's so excited about Christmas and I just want to focus on him and cooking dinner and feeling relaxed. Not dealing with a teen who has his head permanently stuck in his phone who only pops up to grunt occasionally and another who only eats chicken nuggets. They're lovely and polite boys but it's not how I want to spend Christmas!

I had visitors for the first month of DS' December birth three years go, which included me running around after people and cooking three yes THREE Christmas lunches. No one else lifted a fat fucking finger (except DH). It was a particularly nasty and painful forceps birth and I could barely sit down.

Since then, we have been alone Christmas Day. "Yay" quite frankly!

I'm not in the UK, parents recently divorced. Dad has a lovely new partner and they'll be spending it together; narc mother will be travelling to DSis who is also overseas and having Christmas there. She will never ruin Christmas again. I feel precisely zero guilt.

Dustbinlydia is there any way you could buy something crap for your Sil? Knock-off Baileys from Lidl (nowt wrong with that, but it'll obviously be knockoff ), ugly Wilkos coasters? I have seen €500 note bog roll only about £5 mind! Fake flowers? One of those sandy zen gardens that has a mini rake? Buddha josstick holder plus cheap incense?

I could be here for hours...

Last year, we packed up dinner, drove 2 hours to my parents, cooked them dinner, gave them their presents, then drove home again on Christmas day (their house is vile and they are too frail to go anywhere).

On Boxing day, we went to PILs, where everyone else bogged off to the pub (ds has 5 cousins between 22 and 17) leaving me and ds on our own for 2 hours, and no one would interact with ds(8). We were there from 11 till 8.

This year, much as I feel awful about it, we won't go to my parents, and will go to the PIL as late as possible and just for the meal. MIL will not be happy about this.

Well last Christmas day I split up with my exh after his insistance of having to know that day if I was leaving him. And then had to go to his family boxing day putting on fake face and pretending he was ill at home and everything was fine so that I didn't ruin it any more for our own dc and for his family.
So this year can only be better and it will be because I will be partly with my dc and partly with my gf. I am very much looking forward to it and hope I can make it very special for dc.