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Original poster

Who decides your Christmas dinner menu?

36 replies

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 19/10/2014 23:42

We're hosting this year, I was planning on our usual turkey, gammon and pigs in blankets with all the trimmings but DBil/Sil have said they want beef instead as DSIL doesn't eat turkey (so she would only have gammon and pib). DH says we should accommodate them but I was looking forward to our dinner plus our Boxing Day dinner requires leftover turkey.

Would love to hear how you decide your menu.

OP posts:
OutThereLil · 19/10/2014 23:44

If they want beef, they can cook it and bring it.

LadySybilLikesCake · 19/10/2014 23:44

I do as I cook it. We have goose. It looks like a duck, tastes like beef.

cooki3monst3r · 20/10/2014 00:00

"...have said they want beef instead." err... WTF?!!!

Did they actually say that? Did you ask first, or did they just put in their order?

If someone I'd invited to my house for a meal (xmas or otherwise) started putting in bloody requests they would be promptly uninvited!!! That's just rude in my books.

She's got gammon, pigs and trimmings to eat - I doubt she'll starve!!

I agree with outthere. If she's that bothered she can bloomin' well stay at home.

Oooh... the cheek of it!

hashtagwhatever · 20/10/2014 00:05

Do the turkey and beef. Leave the gammon?

xalyssx · 20/10/2014 00:11

This year I'm hosting, so ultimately I'm deciding; I am asking for people's input though. My mum and my friend are vegetarian, so I'm doing something for them. My other friend isn't too keen on sprouts, but I'm doing them anyway. I don't like turkey so I'm having the veggie thing.

cooki3monst3r · 20/10/2014 00:16

If you were to change the menu for SIL, how many in the group would then miss the turkey and gammon?

You could always offer to get her some sliced beef from the deli counter to have with her meal. I wouldn't, but that's because I'm a miserable cow!

BlueGreenHazelGreen · 20/10/2014 00:17

I host I choose, however my pils don't eat turkey, chicken or goose so I always have to cook something else for them too. Beef, Gammon or salmon depending on how I'm feeling.

It's a pain but it would be rude to host a meal at which two if the guests wouldn't eat anything but veg...

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 20/10/2014 00:29

Who decides? In my house it's Mr Marks and Ms Spencer Wink

Yes I think they are rude to preorder, but given that they have, I'd do beef and Turkey and forget the gammon and forget to invite them next year

AcrossthePond55 · 20/10/2014 00:44

I'm with the turkey and beef team. I'd grill her a steak. Easy to do and doesn't involve having to cook two big items (roast/turkey) in the oven.

LokiBear · 20/10/2014 08:19

I'm cooking for the first time and I am deciding. If I tried to recreate my dad's Christmas dinner I'd be cooking all day. I'm going simple and just doing turkey, mushroom Wellington, pigs in blankets, roasties, veg, stuffing etc.

LikeSilver · 20/10/2014 08:29

I do as I cook it. If your SIL has put in an uninvited request, that's really rude!

My only concession is two desserts as DH likes Christmas pudding and I don't Smile

Mummyboo30 · 20/10/2014 08:33

I'm having similar issues, although it's DH that's being difficult! We are hosting for the first time and having DILs for 4 days over Xmas.
I was looking forward to creating our own version of Christmas Day (have been at DILs for the last 14 years!) but DH is trying to push me to make it as similar as possible to their family Xmas for DILs sake.
Hmm so no changing the starters, no trying a different stuffing... (Let alone going for a waitrose pre-stuffed turkey! Shock horror!) :(

currieaddict · 20/10/2014 08:36

We don't really eat turkey so recent years have been fish and beef. I fancy trying a 3 bird roast this year though. No final decision made.

OvertiredandConfused · 20/10/2014 09:53

My SiL did something similar for our family christmas get together (2 days before Christmas) a few years ago.

Vetoed turkey because it would spoil Christmas Day and beef, lamb, pork, duck or gammon because she wouldn't eat it. Her DC apparently wouldn't eat fish or veggie! I said I'd do sea bass fillet for her and me and a gammon for everyone else (it's her DC's favourite)/ She refused to be treated differently and has also refused to set foot in my house since. Great result all round!

If you want a less drastic outcome, perhaps doing a small joint of beef instead of gammon? If you want to gammon then you could cook it on Christmas Eve. Or overnight in a slow cooker if you have one.

Agree it's rude Smile

digger123 · 20/10/2014 09:58

You have to ask yourself if SIL would cook a turkey if it was her turn to host?

I would buy a small joint of beef, and if it's too much to cook on the day, cook the day before, slice and cover in gravy/stock to reheat on the day (bit tricky if she wants it medium rare tho)

ItsGotBellsOn · 20/10/2014 10:00

If I'm cooking, I decide. But would always try to accomodate guests.

maddy68 · 20/10/2014 10:03

I would cook beef as well. I try to make it a nice experience for all. You could cook it in advance to ease the pressure

We always have to have prawn cocktail because my dad is stuck in the 70s and his Christmas is ruined without it I hate prawn cocktail so I do alternative starters and give guests the choice.

BiddyPop · 20/10/2014 10:05

IF you have room in your oven, or a spare ring, PERHAPS consider having a small joint of beef or a steak for DSIL. But only IF. You are the hostess, and it is Christmas. So you get to decide on having a traditional meal or making changes. Oooh, what about doing something strange with beef, like a traditional Hungarian stew or Mongolian beef liver goulash or Chinese spicy stirfry (or other strange to DSIL) dish - that way she gets her beef but doesn't get the satisfaction of having dictated your family meal. (I know, that's nasty, and I eat all sorts of beef dishes so none of those are bad sounding to me - but sometimes I do think not so nice thoughts about people dictating to me in my own house - I'll always make sure there is nice food available).

MummyBoo, that sounds sad that your DH will not allow you to consider making the meal YOUR meal rather than attempting to recreate your DILs.

We don't ever have visitors for the meal - so we are either eating MILs turkey, ham and spiced beef at lunchtime, followed my DM's turkey, ham and spiced beef at dinnertime (we try to fit in a walk in between, or else we are waddling to bed that night). Or we are eating our own turkey, perhaps a small ham, and perhaps a small spiced beef, in our own house. One year we did pheasant, we are considering a goose this year, but we generally go with the traditional meal. (We don't tend to have turkey much the rest of the year - I will do a stuffed breast for Thanksgiving, but both DM's tend to do lamb for Easter).

gamerchick · 20/10/2014 10:08

The person cooking decides and those who don't like/want brings their own food which I'm happy to heat up.

I do beef and Turkey... beef in the slow cooker overnight so it's ready to carve. I need leftover turkey as well.

neverletgojack · 20/10/2014 10:11

just cook the turkey and ham.
just dont give her turkey, everyone else shouldn't have to miss out because she doesnt eat it.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 20/10/2014 10:12

Usually its the person cooking it but my DSister and Dbil can be a bit tricky. If yours are normally ok and not too demanding I would just cook a small joingpt of beef. If they are generally PITAs I would tell them that oven space is limited so would they mind bringing the beef already cooked along with them?

mabelbabel · 20/10/2014 10:12

Personally in your situation I wouldn't do beef. I think the gammon with all the extras is absolutely fine and very festive, given that it's got to suit everyone else as well. There is inevitably going to be some compromise (we have non-poultry eaters, non-beef eaters and a vegetarians at Christmas, but I like to have a small bit of turkey for the few of us who will eat it).

lauranorder50 · 20/10/2014 10:21

Our Christmas dinner has been the same since the 1960's. That suits me just fine. We have chicken (a capon) instead of turkey we just prefer it.

Even though my family has changed over the years I still hold true to tradition.

That's why I have Christmas dinner at home, just hubby and I. Roast Chicken, roast veg, boiled veg, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bread sauce. There will be no deviation ! Dessert is sherry trifle. We don't bother with a starter. I don't know perhaps I'm trying to channel/invoke my dead DGM or DM !

I've been out for Christmas dinner but thankfully it was to a carvery so I could replicate the above meal.

Oh I'm a Christmas Nazi alright ! No guests unless they know the score. Guess what, no guests come as they are not invited. Christmas is a time for family, you've got the rest of the year to see your friends is what was drummed into me year after year.

Rowboat · 20/10/2014 10:26

Personally I don't think you need 2 meats but as you do that she already has a turkey alternative. Does she know this? If you're feeling generous you could swap the ham for beef but don't go without Turkey!

Vitalstatistix · 20/10/2014 11:16

when we are hosting people, I ask them what they love (dinner, puds, snacks, drinks, everything) I then come up with a menu and I email it round and people give me their views and make requests.
a sickly toffee crisp marshmallow nut thing that I do is always requested. I didn't do it last year and I thought I was going to get lynched Grin
I end up doing about a dozen different puds, a load of sweet and savoury snacks and about 4 different meats. But everyone gets a bit of what they love and my husband eventually rolls them out to the car, like the purple girl in willy wonka Grin
I'm prepping and cooking for about 3 days solid but I love it.

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