We have not lost our own DPs yet, but they live 2.5 hours away from us (and 15 mins from each other) - since 2 years after we married, we have been alternating Christmas Day down there (which involves 2 turkey dinners and all that entails), with quiet nuclear family days in our home. We were doing that when it was just DH and I, so we had 3 Christmas Days "at home" before DD arrived (the day after the 3rd of those!). And we have done at least half "at home" since then. DD is about to turn 9 this Christmas.
Admittedly, we still have visits to extended family to make near us when we stay at home. But we also have things to make it special for us.
On Christmas Eve, we go to visit the "Live Crib" in the city after I put in an appearance at work (about an hour does it, wandering and chatting rather than working - so DD still comes with me and we meet DH after he has had a nice coffee). We go to M&S to get DD's birthday cake, and some nice nibbly bits. IF we have any last other bits to get, we buy those then before perhaps a spot of lunch in the city or getting that on the way home, but we tend to escape the city by 2pm at the latest.
We aim to get a walk, either on the local pier (1.7km long) or the hilly wooded park with a playground, if the weather allows. When we get home, we do the prep for the turkey meal together (I peel veg, DH makes stuffing, DD chops things and makes Marie Rose sauce, we clean out and light the fire and fill coal bucket, do any last bits of cleaning or sorting needed etc). DD and I make cookies as well - either from scratch if we are doing well on time and energy, or slice off a log of frozen dough and bake if we are not doing so well. We have a nice meal but one that doesn't need a huge amount of prep that evening, relatively early (maybe 5 - after dark).
Then the youngest in the house lights the Christmas candle (Irish tradition), and we have a little family ceremony remembering the good things that have happened us in the past year, and also remembering hard things that we've got through or people who have died during the year, and also remembering our Grandparents etc (I lost 3 grandparents between 2010, 2012 and 2013, with DD knowing them all, and DH lost his last 2 when I was already his GF/DFiancee). We usually just have 1 prayer, but I might go as far as both our families' tradition of a decade of the rosary this year. (We are not the most religious family at all, but it seems appropriate that night).
After that, we get out the Christmas Eve box (a storage box that holds decorations in the attic most of the year). It has DD's Christmas stocking, new PJs for all 3 of us, Lush festive bath bombs for DD and I, (perhaps a nice shower gel for DH), and naice hot choc for all 3 also, and our copy of "Twas the Night Before Christmas". DD puts out her stocking, the fresh cookies, a carrot and glass of milk. Then heads off for her nice bath and new PJs, before TTNBC being read to her in bed.
Christmas morning, she gets her stocking. When she will be no longer really getting a stocking, I intend moving to us all getting a stocking that we each help to fill the other 2. Useful, silly, fun, choccie nibbles, etc things to have a laugh and give us something to wake up in excitement to in the morning.
We do a nice breakfast before going out to mass. At the moment, we usually go to the Church in the next parish as they have a Children's mass, including choir, that is very good. So it is very full, but lovely. We also used to meet DH's Aunt afterwards, but she has recently moved. Then we do have a couple of visits to make - down in my DPs house, they have always had an "Open House" for the neighbours and a few friends for a couple of hours in the morning as they were alone and their families are/were in our city.
When we get home, we put on the turkey (or have it set to turn on and off automatically, if we have been organized enough) and cook the rest of the dinner, to eat around 5ish. We light the fire again as soon as we get in, and settle down with a few nibbles to tide us over until dinner, open a bottle of something nice, and have the presents together by firelight, lots of candles and tree lights, so only needing 1 small extra sidelamp in the sitting room.
After dinner, we have gotten into the habit, as DD has grown older, of playing a board game together, and perhaps watching a bit of tv. We might also have a spot of cheese later in the evening.
But we mostly have Christmas CDs and Christmas radio stations on that day. DD does watch some tv in the morning, and may wander off at some stage to do so again, but DH and I don't really have the time or inclination to on the 25th. We do tend to sit down to watch something (and are inevitably disappointed by the poor offerings) once DD is in bed.
If we didn't have the visits to make earlier in the day, we would probably aim to have another walk in the crisp air (assuming not raining). And we would probably have some time to read or watch tv or play more games together. But even if we were literally just us 3, it would still be quietly magical for us. I'd love to have a piano to play some music on. Some years, we work on a big jigsaw together (DD is a jigsaw fiend!) over the whole of the holidays. We have a good few Christmas movies on DVD, and we also have Netflix to give us some viewing options too. And I make sure to have at least 1 good book each to read.