Aibu

[financialwizard]

To text dh's brother and sisters and say we can't afford more than £10 per child this Christmas.

That is their preferred means of contact btw.

With me giving up work we're not made of money and we are limiting our own children quite substantially this year.

How old are your nieces and nephews?
IMO , children over 14 shouldn't expect presents from all family members.
£10 for younger DC is more than enough, look on the bargain threads and you'll get really nice presents.
What do they do for your DC ?
And they should realise if your work circumstances to have changes then, yes, you'll have less money.

Absolutely fine, we are doing the same this year. I have 8 nieces and nephews so I really have to.

They are all under 7 so we will buy for them. Three of them have birthdays in December too so trying to budget.

They all buy token presents for my step son and daughter but not my son (not blood related - that's another thread). My step son is 15 and my son is 13.

If they don't buy for your son then I would say no presents for any of the children.

I'd send a token gift to each family of a tin of chocs and be done with it if you feel you have to send anything at all. Not buying for your son is not acceptable imo. Text to say cutting down this year and only have room in the budget for a small token gift.

I would find it very hard to accept that they don't buy for your son, tbh.

In terms of the monetary limit, I would find it a bit crass to discuss. We spend about £20 on my DBs son but less on DHs sisters kids, because a) we have 2 dc, so db spends more so I feel that it's 'the right thing to do' and b) we are practically nc with DHs sister.
DC of my cousins also get less spent. It's what we can afford but I would no way disclose what we spend.

If they don't buy for your son I would find it very difficult to move past "stuff them", Christmas or not.

I don't spend more than £10-£15 on gifts for children, less if I can.

I wouldn't say anything tbh, just do it.

I used to do £20 before we had dc for cousins but since dc it's down to £10. I just did it as kids don't really notice and their parents should assume you pay what we can.

oh yes - don't text them. It could sound like you are asking permission!

Don't text them
Just do it
More than reasonable
But why are they not buying for your son? Blood relative or not, if he's your son, then he's part of the family.

Been married for 6 years and they never have yet tend to spend money they don't have on my step son. I think to them not being 'blood' makes a difference.

My mil has only in the last year started sending him birthday and Christmas cards and she is one of those women who prides herself on doing the right thing.

We did live overseas for a while so I understood then, although they always managed to send something for my youngest.

Horrible behaviour on their part.

It is.

I know this isn't the point of the thread, but if you're looking for 'good' £10 presents - my present of choice for the of kids in our family is character themed pjs from Primark or similar. For some reason kids get excited about them? (Not a mum so this is mysterious to me!)

Sadly you can't buy them nicer parents...

We get presents for our nephews from the sales and store them in the loft and always buy a few bits such as plastic army helmets and guns from the £ shop - that way we can get quite a few decent pressies that the boys love without blowing a budget. Amount spent doesn't come into it really, we wouldn't tell their parents how much we spent and they wouldn't question it.

Btw they sound really mean for leaving out your son! (but I would suggest maintaining the moral high ground and just buying them something even if it's not expensive).

I have 5 nieces and nephews and I have two children myself so 7 children in total. I have two brothers and two sisters so 5 adults in total. We agreed a couple of years ago that each of the 7 children would get one present from their aunts, uncles & cousins collectively to a value of approx. £20. This saved the children having loads of presents and getting a bit overloaded ( they are all 7 and under) and makes present buying easy for the adults. Each sibling has to buy one present or two presents each year on a rotating basis so that the 5 adults cover the 7 children. You could try something like that if you feel your DH's siblings would be up for it?

I wouldn't say anything, you can get quite a lot for £10 if you shop around and look out for amazon bargains, the Christmas bargain threads are good and keep an eye on hotdeals. I picked up 2 noisy books ( those books with buttons on for toddlers ) half price on amazon a few weeks back, cost me £10 for 2 big books, I'm sure my nephew will love them. I rarely spend more than £10 on children.

Thanks. Not going text just going to buy.

It is mean spirited that they don't buy for my son but I can't not buy for my nieces and nephews because my husband would if I don't.