14 year old DS1 is a nightmare to buy for :(

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He used to be the easy one - Lego , lego and more lego and a pile of books, pair of Pjs a few sweets and job done :)

Birhday & christmas have become increasingly harder as the years go by and lego became less desirable.

DS2 (13) used to be the hard one and now he is easy peasy, he writes a list, wants the moon on a stick :o Basically I can tell him a budget and he lets me know his preferences.

DS1 - has no clue, he doesn't spend any of his money that he gets for birthday or christmas until there is a big thing he wants - there is nothing left that he wants. He has a decent phone, laptop, tv, xbox, ps3. There are no games he wants, he has a bike and two scooters. Has a nook, an ipod and DSi etc that he rarely touches, doesn't want an ipad, doesn't want a ps4, xbox1 or psvita.

He isn't into sport or fashion, loves the scouts and camping - he ended up with a lightweight 1 man tent and bits for his birthday, got his room done up and a double bed etc the year before and is still happy with it.

He loves to swim but pretty much has what he needs.

Experience days are out really as there are very few available within a reasonable distance that he would be interested in or is old enough for.

Books and pjs are still fine and I can usually find a few stocking fillers, but I am loath to just hand him cash as he will simply bank it and whilst that is an admirable quality, i'd like him to get some pleasure from a gift or from spending!

Anyone else in the same boat or have any inspirational ideas?

Does your ds's have live(connection to the internet so he can talk to/game with people)?

That would be a yes Angel - though talking to actual people would be stretching the truth a little :)

He has access to the internet and Netflix and unlimited wifi on his phone - he is spoiled but not a brat.

He spends the majority of his time when not doing Scouty type things and his DofE volunteering and activities (life saving and gym) playing on his laptop which he has connected to a 36inch tv in his room.

he also has xbox live and 2 magazine subscriptions :(

when i say he isn't a brat, the reason he has so much is that he is exceptionally well behaved and hard working, his school report was perfect (6s for effort in everything) he is getting an award from school, he hasn't had a day off school since he was 6, he keeps his room tidy and whilst I'd like him to get a hair cut and he isn't keen, he showers, brushes his teeth (not had any treatment ever) and gets up every day for school without a murmur and puts his light out when asked. As a consequence he has received many rewards etc.

DS2 is slightly less compliant (likes a tantrum now and then) and tends to quickly spend any rewards he gets - he did pay for a PSN account for a friend so he could play with him on-line and his friend couldn't afford it, so he is a generous soul too.

They sound lovely can I swap? Good rucksack/ hiking boots/ penknife/ torch? Train tickets for him and a mate somewhere exciting? Chickens/ hamster/ kitten?

What about young drivers lessons? My soon to be 15 year old has asked for a kindle and a dd hammock - so he doesn't even need a tent (just handy trees!)

Thanks Tanaqui - i keep waiting for things to awry - we are very lucky :)

He has rucksack, boots etc as he goes away regularly with the scouts - just done his 50 nights away. He doesn't really have a best friend at the moment - he is very very shy (possibly borderline aspergers) we are working to try to increase his social skills - it's long and slow.....

He doesn't really "do" animals, DS2 loves them, we have a cat (7 years now) and he has probably only really started stroking it and feeling care for it over the last year or two. I wonder if he might like something to care for though? hmmmm. maybe. thanks :)

Have you looked at the Ray Mears bushcraft courses? Ds has just done one, he's 13, and loved it.

How about concert/cinema vouchers or tickets.
Since my ds turned 15 he is always going to cinema with his friends. when does your ds turn 15?

A monthly pass to the cinema - is it Cineworld that do a £15 per month annual pass and he can go as many times as he wants.

Posters
Restaurant meal
DVDs, CDs
Skates (everyone likes to go to xmas skating rinks surely?)

To be honest though, just books & little things here and there (a new blanket, mug, whatever)....aren't they enough for a birthday? That's what I got from my parents and they were brilliant at birthdays.

He sounds absolutely lovely :-)

How about suggesting you give him some money for Scout Camps/Expeditions. These may start to increase in cost as he gets older?

Um...a kayak or canoe?
Climbing lessons at a climbing wall?

Looked at the young drivers thing at birthday time and nearest facility is nearly an hour and a half away - it would be fine for a one off but couldn't really do that regularly for a half hour lesson. :( He'd probably love a hammock - he couldn't use it in the garden though - new build estate - only teeny trees.

The bushcraft thing looks good although he has covered a fair bit with scouts and will also do some more for his DofE. They have no dates available on their site but I suspect they will not be nearby - there might be something similar. He has been away for a week sailing with the OYTS.

He hasn't shown an interest in concerts or things yet (or music!) he does like the cinema but doesn't really go with friends unless I sort it out for him. I think that Cineworld pass is good, people have mentioned it before - we have a Vue which doesn't do it - £15 a month might encourage him to go more often - he was only 14 in July though so actually there isn't a lot at the cinema for that age group I am finding - too old for cartoons (they think) he's not into the superhero type stuff and still too young for a lot of listings.

I hope this isn't coming across as negative, I'm loving all your suggestions. It's just difficult when they don't have a clear hobby to buy for :(

What about a trip somewhere? is there somewhere he really wants to visit (a city or place of interest)?

Thank you velour - this is for Christmas and I usually do those type of bits for his stocking - i have found dvds etc from last christmas with the cellophane still on :(

He can skate, I think his problem would be people to go with :( I can't skate and his brother has other interests and doesn't want to always hang out with him (understandably) I have encouraged him to take the initiative and organise things with friends in the past but they have ended up falling through so it's knocked his confidence a bit and I am therefore reluctant to push it again.

He tends to answer with one word in conversations so can be a bit hard work - so whilst he is happy in his group of friends and they like him and find him easy going (probing of a friends mum on my behalf) they don't really contact him to go do things and we don't live local to his school and friends for people to just pop round.

I think what he'd really like is a best friend but I can't buy him that :(

I've tended to fund all his camps and expeditions as it's good that he wants to go and as I say he gives us no bother and we have always tried to give both boys as many opportunities as we can. OH and i both come from poor backgrounds so didn't get many chances to do things. We would happily go without to let them do any school trips etc.

to be honest he doesn't really offer much of an opinion on anything - not sure if it's to do with his personality, the possible aspergers or the result of bullying when he was younger - he stopped volunteering any answers in class and would only answer factual questions for which he knows there is a right answer - he doesn't do ambiguity. For example is asked about a story they were reading "what was John's sister called?" he would answer, if asked "do you think John is happy?" he wouldn't. Either he couldn't work it out or was scared of airing a view, I don't know.

So if there was somewhere he's like to go, I have no clue - i basically have to keep suggesting things until he shows interest.

Do you have a laser quest (or similar) near you.
I agree 14 is a awkward age concerning cinema-they can see a lot more at 15.
How about comic con??
If your ds is looking for someone new to play Xbox games on live with we could swap details through a pm?

Sorry, was away doing the swim pick up :)

there used to be a laser quest in the next town but I'm sure it's all shut down now - hey have a karting arena which we have done a few times - it's indoors though and the fumes made him sick.

I was waiting to see if anyone mentioned Comic con - we went to the one in Glasgow last year - it was a bit of a nightmare, I think the had 5 times the amount of people expected - we weren't too bad, we queued for a bout 2 hours but there were still people queuing to get in an hour before it was due to shut. it was also all crammed into one small room and you couldn't move......it may have put them off :)

I'll suss out about the xbox games- that's really kind of you. I'll have to make up some story though as it would kind of go against eveything i warn about strangers on the internet :o

I only mention comic con cos my ds(15) would love to go to one.
My ds has quite a few friends on Xbox but I suppose it depends what games your ds is into.
You also just reminded me my ds has asked for a good pair of wellies for his birthday(nov) & I was quite shocked @ such a practical present request?
Another strange idea I just had was researching the family tree. is he interested in history?any museums nearby?my dh has been doing our family tree and it is really interesting.

He sounds very similar to my dd1, I am totally stuck on what to buy her, she had started writing a book ( she wants to be a author and writes fantasy ) so I was going to try and get it made into a real book but she seems to have given up on it . Dd1 does want a laptop as she doesn't have her own but I'm not sure about getting her one when we already have a iPad, a tablet and a net book in the house.

If he's generally well behaved, wants for nothing and bright - I would broafen his horizons.

What about a camp in the USA? A wilderness expedition or the like.

Or an unusual hobby or course, like a week's cooking school, see if you could fund a young apprenticeship in the field he would like to go into?

Or offer some local lessons for a unique hobby like golf, fencing with the promise of kit if he enjoys it?

thank you angel and marne

I wish it was as simple as wellies :)

shame about the book - both of mine have started books at various times - DS1 is very good at art and has drawn some great Manga stuff but doesn't seem that interested any more - i got him graphic cartoon software and last year he wanted an architect drawing board and all the bits which he hasn't touched in months.

I think it is justifiable to buy them their own laptop if you can afford it. both boys go to coderdojo so really need a laptop to get the most from it.

I use their rejects :o

knackered great ideas thanks - he almost went away for 3 weeks to the USA with scouts last year but we ended up pulling out as at the time he would have just turned 13 and his brother would turn 12 on the trip. I was perfectly happy with the camp but it also involved staying with some families and I felt they were too young and it was too risky. as they would be in 2s and 3s and not all together as a unit. he has done a weeks sailing and other places but not abroad on his own yet.

I think he's enjoy cooking but at 14 there is a limit to what is available in terms of vocational type stuff.

He has tried most sports, including golf but doesn't really get that enthused. There has to be one that's for him but so far it's been swimming. The clubs where we live are mega competitive (National training centre nearby). He has been invited for trials 3 times but hasn't got in. His crawl is definitely good enough but think his breaststroke lets him down. butterfly and back stroke are perfectly acceptable. he is doing Lifeguard training for DofE

He has very poor eyesight, he'd love laser eye surgery but that will have to wait until he is an adult.

if he likes computer games have you thought about tickets to a games expo? there is the Eurogamer expo in London at the end of September and will also be another few next year, always very big popular events for gamers.