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Christmas

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When to stop FC pretence

43 replies

AugustaGloop · 03/09/2014 12:44

DDs are getting on a bit now (DD1 starting senior school!). Although it is obvious they no longer believe in father Christmas, it has never 100% been expressly acknowledged. They kind of like the whole pretence even though they know it is not real - the excitement of the stocking in the morning (from FC - presents from us and others under the tree which are opened after lunch).

We have not directly lied to them about it, at least since they were of an age where we would not expect them still to believe but they have not asked the direct question (although have made some comments in our hearing which mean we know they don't believe but we have not taken the opportunity to expressly confirm this just smiled knowingly etc). we have kind of concluded that because they have not asked directly they want the status quo to continue.

But there must come a time when it is ridiculous still to pretend even though it is a funny kind of pretence where we all know no-one believes it? We would not spend less and would probably still give them a stocking so they have something first thing, but the balance between stocking and other presents would change and we would acknowledge the stocking was from us (to stop him getting credit for my very thoughtful purchases!). It would also mean that I could take a bit less care about the secrecy of buying things and where to hide them and ensuring different wrapping paper is used for the FC presents etc

I cant remember when the pretence was stopped when I was younger, although we were a wide range of ages so it was probably acknowledged between myself and my parents that I no longer believed while as a household the FC thing continued for youngest sister's benefit.

DDs are very close in age and DD2 is more knowing so if anything she probably worked it out first!

OP posts:
insancerre · 05/09/2014 07:24

We've never stopped although they are well past the age of believing.
They are 25 and 18 and they still get stockings from Santa. We still leave his magic key and a carrot for Rudolph
I think there is still a part of me that still wants to believe :)

HolgerDanske · 05/09/2014 08:03

Ohhhh I love Christmas. Just reading this has filled my heart with warmth and fuzziness.

I don't think you ever need to explicitly stop perpetuating the magic.

This year will be a very special Christmas for us because it will be the first time my daughter will have lived away from home for a time. I am already looking forward to having everyone at home again, and she's not even left yet Grin

Rowboat · 05/09/2014 12:46

err my dm finally stopped doing stockings when I was 27 and I'm the youngest of 4! Grin
(obviously I'd known for nearly 20 years but it was fun.)
I don't see any reason to stop really if everyone is happy.

Rowboat · 05/09/2014 12:52

Oh and the only reason we stopped was cos then dp had joined us for Christmas and with both SILs, grandkids and df, dm was doing 11 stockings at the time so rather than absorb another (dh) and any further kids, she just drew a line. I think she was spending over a grand on them! (I think she still does df one)

BarbaraPalmer · 05/09/2014 12:57

oh, the pretence is part of the fun. anything else is far too bah-humbug.

I can't remember ever believing in FC (two older sisters to debunk the myth), but up until she died (when I was 19) my mum made up a stocking, and I'd wonder aloud with a wink whether FC knew just the right shade of nail polish I wanted. Like others have mentioned, the party line was that non-believers would have no need to put a stocking out.

SixerofthePixies · 05/09/2014 21:11

I had a stocking til I left home. My mum used to say "you don't believe, you don't receive" I will do the same for my children....why not. I love Christmas though

newlark · 06/09/2014 21:40

dd (7) has worked it out (as well as the tooth fairy) and knows the presents come from us. I decided early on I wouldn't lie about it but just replied "what do you think?" when questions were asked. I've said it is just for fun and not to tell anyone else (I think ds(5) still believes :) - like others I still got a stocking until I left home

Magmatic80 · 28/09/2014 14:11

34 here. Mum rings me every year and asks where Father Christmas is required to visit (I.e, what are my plans). My sister started doing our mum and dad's stockings when we were about 15 I think. We both do our partners'. We're usually all in the same house at Christmas anyway which makes things easier... My DP grew up in Eastern Europe so I get slipper on windowsill on 6th dec too now :D

If your children enjoy the pretence then why stop? It's become a tradition and in-joke for us. Mum knocks on bedroom door waaaaaaay before midnight these days and asks if asleep yet as Father Christmas has arrived. Shout yes, light goes off temporarily, stockings get put on bed and everyone giggles to themselves and feels part of family.

R4roger · 28/09/2014 14:12

Never,

my teens would be distraught.

Magmatic80 · 28/09/2014 14:17

Mum is also very much in charge of advent calendars, and has always insisted in buying them for our housemates as well. I think it's really nice that we still have some of our childhood Christmas traditions even though left home 18 years ago.

LeBearPolar · 28/09/2014 14:32

DS is 11 and knows it is pretence but we all still keep the magic going. In a way it's more fun as he and I conspire over what to put in DH's stocking, and we all enjoy pretending to be excited/nervous as I go downstairs to check that Santa's been on Christmas morning. It's still magical.

Bumpedbonce · 29/09/2014 21:13

People don't believe! That's just craziness

LokiBear · 29/09/2014 22:45

My MIL still pretends. DH is 31! Of course now it is for the grandchildren Wink

thegreylady · 30/09/2014 08:01

'Tis the magic of Christmas. I am 70 and still 'believe' in the magic :)

LikeSilver · 30/09/2014 08:03

I'm nearly 30 and my Dad still pretends to be horrified at any suggestion that FC may not exist Smile

My parents divorced when I was young and I lived with my Mum. I can clearly remember asking her about FC when I was 9/10ish, and her saying 'well no, of course he isn't real, and nor is the tooth fairy, I flush your teeth down the toilet' (that makes her sound horrible, she isn't, she's just very direct and matter of fact!). Although I knew it was still somewhat of a shock! I much prefer my Dad's approach.

SquattingNeville · 30/09/2014 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chennai · 30/09/2014 11:01

Hmm - I've been thinking about stopping this year but I'm not sure whether to.

We've never even discussed the possibility of FC non-existence - it just doesn't come up in conversation so I have no idea when they stopped believing or even if they ever did. It's just all been part of the magic that we all played along with and have all loved.

But DC will be 25 and 21 this Christmas!

inchoccyheaven · 01/10/2014 03:24

Last year my then 11 yr old ds asked if FC was real after I had let him down about tooth fairy. He was very upset that I had lied all this time but I said it wasn't lying it was creating magic and memories. Christmas last year was really hard as exh and I split up so I really want to make this one better for them and carry on the traditions even though they know now. Eldest ds never asked at all so not sure when he knew really.

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