If you host Christmas do you set the 'timetable' to suit yourself or others...

[PogoBob]

Timetable sounds horrible formal but can't think of a better word.

We're staying at home for Christmas for only the second time. Last year we organised Christmas around what suited family members best. It generally worked but there were some really trigger points for toddler tantrums that could be avoided wth a slightly different approach.

This year I'm tempted to work out what would work for us and tell family what we are doing. To be honest I suspect that everyone will fit in with us if we set everything out but as host it feels wrong not to start with what suits others!

I cater for just under 20 people every year, so it is absolutely my prerogative to set the timetable. I plan to eat at 1pm so I don't have fractious children, and presents are opened between 11 and 12 am so that I don't miss out on it by spending time in the kitchen. 12 to 1pm is spent cooking.

That's the way it is. If someone else wants to host Christmas year after year I will be happy to slot in to their timetable.

We always have dinner about 4pm (one course, no starter and pudding is much later) it has to be finished before Dr Who (Tradition in our house) hope DS and DH have warmed to the new Doctor by then....

In mine and DH's family those with most needs are catered to above all else, which pretty much means those on tight schedules. So the kids and DF!!! And even DF will live around the kid's schedule.

However if the adults want a 9:30pm dinner and I knew we would still be up then, I'd provide them with a tea/buffet affair at that time but I'd still have main meal when everyone could enjoy it. Because the kids should be included (and DF in our case ).

Being an obstinate mare, if they didn't like it they could lump it.

We decided to have a Christmas dinner, as opposed to a Christmas lunch, a couple of years ago because 18 year old DS would be working waiting tables, in a restaurant, at lunchtime.

Bloody FiL threw a huge tantrum and declared he couldn't possibly eat in the evening so would stay at home. I called his bluff and told him that was up to him. Of course he soon changed his mind.

But the day worked much more smoothly for us having the main meal in the evening, so we always do it that way now.

We are at the stage of having to work round the elderly relatives a bit now - we host as we have the biggest house and my sister drives the relatives here. THe olds insist on the Queens speech and so we have Xmas dinner at around half one - although we did Skyplus the speech last year as we were running late.

But the bonus is the grown up kids can entertain the older generation whilst we get on with the cooking. And presents are a secret santa of one gift each now.

We eat between 1 and 2 - I can't be more precise than that because there's about 20 different things to get hot at the same time

It's just DH, DS and I and my DP's at Christmas (they will be staying )
We get up and do stockings (too early for DF)
Breakfast is bacon sandwiches and Bucks Fizz (large smiles then)
Shower and changed ready for church (more sighs- he could stay at home but prefers to tag along and look bored)
Quick pint on the way home then dinner and presents. Normally manage to squeeze a short walk with the dogs in as well.
I plan the timetable and tell everyone what we will be doing and when. It's then upto them whether they join in or not but as I am in charge of cooking and present distribution they're all a bit stuffed without me :o

I think it's best to 'timetable' to suit the youngest children attending. Young kids being kept waiting when they are hungry leads to a miserable time IMO. As a family we ditched starters on Xmas day for the same reason - kids would either fill up on starter and then want to get down from the table half way through the main course or would eat nothing and whinge for their main course. Much easier not to bother.

We always do main meal in evening also. Works best with our children.

So 2-4pm children can nap so they aren't tired over dinner and late into evening. We tried lunch at 1pm but they were already verging on being tired so start to play up half way through meal, and one of us had I leave table to put them for nap.

6pm dinner means we usually invite people over from 2pm to have drink/ nibbles/ help prep! And we have that time 2-4 to prep child free.

The morning is presents, late champagne breakfast as family, walk, board game, snack for kids before nap.

We do cheese/ biscuits around 10pm for whoevers still here ( everyone usually goes home around midnight)