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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Should I give these presents on Xmas eve due to toxic dm?

8 replies

givemeaclue · 24/12/2013 02:06

We are phone and letter contact only with my very difficult mother. She can see the children, but has chosen not to bother for nearly 2 years. She rings them every week and sends long letters every week also pocket money and other bits. They spoke to her sat and yesterday. We are forbade from calling her on Xmas day as she will be at her dps and after we rang her at dps last year, dp sent us a note asking us never to call dps house again. There is a long back story but you get the picture.

She has sent the dcs for Xmas a large wooden puppet theatre and puppets. Very nice gifts. I am thinking of letting them open them Christmas Eve. This is because the theatre is large, it will dominate over the other gifts and they are likely to run and open it first as it is so big. I don't want my dm being part of our Xmas even in gift form and feel its a bit passive aggressive of her to send such a physically large gift. I don't want to be talking about her and thinking about her on Xmas day. Film is with us on Xmas day and I don't want him to be asking how things are with my dm etc I feel awkward about it.

Dm would go nuts if she knew they had it Xmas eve as she is very into Santa, surprises etc.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
CrystalDeCanter · 24/12/2013 02:10

Open it whenever you like. If she wants to be cheesed off then let her. Don't let her ruin your lovely day with your lovely kids.

AdoraBell · 24/12/2013 02:25

I had a tóxic mother too, I would Have let them open it when it arrived tbh. Definitely do it Tomorrow if it will help ease your Christmas day.

RevoltInParadise · 24/12/2013 02:26

Can you call her to say thanks afterward. That way you can say you let them open it early so you could call and say thanks without breaking the no calling at dps house rule?

givemeaclue · 24/12/2013 02:31

Thanks for your replies. I don't actually speak to her myself I just dial the number and give the phone to dcs to speak. I think I will let them have it today, they can call her to say thanks on Boxing Day. It's crazy I feel I need "permission" to let them open it before Xmas day!

OP posts:
AngelinaCongleton · 24/12/2013 02:33

Xmas eve is a good idea. Can you email so it's in draft to send?

raisah · 24/12/2013 02:50

I would get the dc to open the gifts on boxing day instead. So axmas eve and day is totally about you & your family gifts / traditions and then after all other gifts have been opened I would hand over that one.

jamtoast12 · 24/12/2013 08:33

I agree with Raisah Boxing Day would be best .

givemeaclue · 24/12/2013 11:18

Hi all, thanks so much for replies. I have given them it today, they love it and been playing with it all mornin. I had done that before I saw the boxing day suggestions, but fil is still here boxing day so I want Xmas and boxing day to be our time with him without the wicked witch having any influence on the day.

Am now peeved dh is spending the morning sorting car insurance.....for gods sake if has had weeks to do that!

OP posts:
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