Need plan for next Christmas!!

[Madamecastafiore]

Apparently DHs brother cannot understand why I have refused to do Christmas this year.

Erm, maybe because I had C section 6 weeks ago and am decking knackered and I don't want to wait on a bunch of lazy, entitled gits for 2 days, have to shop, clean, cook and put them up whilst they sit on their arses doing nowt!!! Gggrrrr.

They live abroad (one set) the others live in this country but a while away so they all stay here. We have enough room for them all, whereas no one else does so it feels like it's just a given.

Have suggested that we go out for lunch next year and if they want to come are welcome (they won't as the foreign ones have long pockets and short arms so will refuse) but DH says it won't feel like Christmas if we go out.

Any other suggestions to put them off??

Suggest they host?

There is that tradiotional MN saying- No is a complete sentence

If all the family staying with you is the only option for everyone to be together, how about agreeing only on the condition they all contribute. Everyone has to bring something for the meal or nibbles, drinks etc and there is a rota for who cooks each part, cleans up, entertains the kids.

Your contribution will be providing your lovely home as the venue and accommodation.

Teach your DH to be a little more flexi

Tell them to work as hard as you have to afford a bigger house and put everyone up?

You'll still have a pretty young child next year, I wouldn't expect anyone with a young family to put themselves out and wait hand and foot on me.

Tell them it's time your young family start there own traditions, one of which is Christmas day together. Go out for a big family lunch on Boxing Day together.

Sorry I mean suggest they host lunch if you can get there and back okay in a day? They won't so you'll be ale to do what you want

Well, seeibg as your DH doesnt want to go out, and they are his family, make him do the hosting next year.

We tried asking them to bring stuff. They brought cheap rubbish which I was upset about as we push boat out and get nicer stuff than usual.

We tried asking for cash contribution £20 a head for adults only. ILs excluded as they have done Xmas for years. Foreign ones didn't mention £ at all. They just told MIL they were not leaving anything.

A rota may be an idea (will be hard as won't be done to my standards and I admit am controlling about things in my house). Think will tell DH that it's this or that sentence 'No'.

It's the lack of help that upsets me and the entitlement. We have to cater for a religious diet and a 'intolerance' (in quotes as billshit) but they do not think of bringing stuff to save us having to do countless different options. MIL helps but the others think passing their empty plate is 'helping'.

Bitter, moi, non!

Ask a local hotel how much theyd charge for a big block.bookibg. Tell them.if they want to come to book and pay the Hotel. And that you will only be providing Christmas Day Lunch.

I agree with mortified. With your own little family you dont want to be invaided all christmas. If they want to book and stay in a hotel and come to visit for christmas dinner thats fine but unfortunately you are no longer able to host everyone for the whole of christmas. I cant imagine being invaided and having other people sat irritating me while I'm trying to enjoy my kids opening their gifts and playing and the whole santa thing the night before etc.

Tbh they are being very rude to even comment on the lack of hosting this year and to not contribute anything in the past is shocking! Even when we go to my mums we bring nice desserts and this year have ordered organic veg for the xmas dinner too.

Book a hotel for Christmas dqy dinner and send them the menu & note to say that you will be dining out xmas 2014. They are welcome to join you & it is £xx per head and the cost is in lieu of the annual gift exchange.

I did this with my entitled BIL & SIL for Eid & as expected they didnt turn up but a good time was had by all.

Hint that you might be going away for Christmas next year. You don't actually need to go, just imply you will not be available.

Seriously, I'd just stick with the complete 'we will not be hosting Christmas' no. If they ask why, you say 'because we choose to be at home just us. If you want to meet somewhere for lunch on Boxing Day, just let us know.'

Unbelievably rude and entitled relatives!