Am I really cruel for refusing to let dcs open presents pre 7am?

[FruitSaladIsNotPudding]

Obviously I don't think I am, I just want to know what others do.

We have a rule that no one gets out of bed before 7am, Xmas day included. This works fine, dds are quite happy with this, although I did have to encourage dd1 to stay in bed as a toddler.

So on Xmas day we have the same rule. My ils think I'm dreadfully cruel - they have always let their children get up at about 4 and open presents. I think they are mad!

I just can't see the point. I'd be knackered and grumpy, the kids would be knackered and grumpy, and they don't expect to get up earlier anyway, so why encourage it?

So mumsnet jury, aibu?

No presents till the livestock are sorted here - so usually middayish.

Its never been an issue in my house, I woke them at half 8 last year! But if they woke before 6.30 I would not allow them to get up, they would be a nightmare by midday! And stockings are downstairs!

I would stick with 7am. Your ILs can enforce the "up at any time" rule the year you spend Christmas at their house, so they deal with the overtired, grumpy children high on sugar at 2pm. Until then, they need a good night's sleep.

The rule when I was growing up was that we couldn't leave our rooms until 9:00 (except to go to the loo, etc) but we were old enough to have our stockings in our rooms.
After 9 we'd gather in the lounge, having dressed, had some breakfast, those wanting showers could have them. Only when everyone was assembled could we have our presents.

I think if your children are used to staying in their rooms until 7 then there's nothing cruel about continuing that rule over Christmas.

I'm undecided about your stockings rule - if they're young and need help unwrapping then it does make sense, but I always remember the wonderment of waking up to see a full stocking at the foot of my bed; so I guess my judgment depends on what you intend to do when they're older.

What, so your ILs would be (and were) happy to arrive downstairs to find all the kids presents opened, paper everywhere and no idea of who had given what to whom? With, effectively, one of the best parts of Christmas over and done with without them?

No thanks!

Stockings are left on the sofa and they can be opened when the DC are up (they've never been particularly early risers though) Presents after breakfast if we're at home, after lunch if we've stayed at my parents (we do enough stuff in the morning that it's not cruel and unusual...)

Not before 8am here. My lovely DS1 was just turned 8 last Christmas and I heard him get up for a wee at about 7am and I waited for him to burst into my room all excited - the wee sausage tiptoed back to bed and went back to sleep. He didn't want to wake anyone too early.

I say not before 8am but it's a lie and I'd get up at whatever time they wanted. But shhh don't tell.

No, FruitSalad, not a morning person. It's just that Christmas turns me into a 5 year old I get so excited. I blame having kids. Before that, I would just sleep until I couldn't sleep any more then I'd get up and get very drunk and sober up around the 5th of January.

Now I can be found underneath my husband (and not in a good way) pleading to please be allowed to wake the kids up

(who don't thank me for it now, btw - teenagers. Have you tried getting a teenager out of bed? You can lose a limb.)

No clam, they used to get up too! Although it was a total free for all with paper thrown everywhere and everything opened in one mad dash. Another bone of contention, I'm afraid.

To be fair, it's not just them. There's a family on my side who all get up at 5 at the latest, so I wondered how common this is.

They usually invade our bed with stockings fairly early - but now they're bigger it's not such a nearly start.

Main presents not until after the Queen's Speech.

It's not cruel! They know when it's happening, and delicious anticipation is a pleasurable thing (in several contexts!). Also, it spreads 'set piece' events through the day, which I like better than everything over by 08:00ish.

Stockings are fair game from very early on. Fortunately have not yet had to grapple with opening at, say, 5am. Main presents then later in the day.

We decided to have stockings downstairs, when the dses were little, and we have stuck to that.

The first Christmas that ds1 could tell the time, we told him he could come up with his brothers at 7.30am, and say "Good morning mummy, good morning daddy, and a merry Christmas to both of you", and then we would go down to do stockings. 7.30am, on the dot, on Christmas morning, in they troop, and ds1 says, "Good morning mummy, good morning daddy, and a merry Christmas to both of you - and I've been sick three times!" - the poor soul didn't realise this counted as a valid reason to wake us early!

Tiptoe down to sitting room, stockings on fireplace, shock and awe at the present pile, then stockings opened on the bed in my room with a cuppa.

DS5 will have his 8am Groclock as normal in the holidays. I'm hoping he will have his breakfast first like he did last year but I won't insist on it

Mine don't get up early if they don't have to, Christmas Day is no exception. Dd was first up last year at 9.30, we've never been up before 8am. I don't think it's cruel to make them wait until 7am before getting up especially if they are going to be tired and ratty all day.

Nope!

Mine cannot get up before 7.30. That has been the same every year and they are now 16 and 14.

Excellent. Glad to know I'm not completely awful.

No! We always wait until after breakfast (which is not early), then let them open one present per hour until lunch (ie usually mid-afternoon). They love doing it like that- instead of a binge of wrapping paper and excitement, they keep the feeling all day.

This tradition stemmed from when I was very little and we were quite poor. Our parents used to go overboard at Christmas, and we were allowed to open all our presents at once, and it was somehow so demoralising and deflating once we'd ripped everything open that there wouldn't be anything more on that scale for another 364 days that I vowed not to do it that way with mine.

Also from a practical point of view, when they were small, it was a) a lot easier to keep tabs on who had given what (for thank you letters) and b) meant that they actually played with each thing as they opened it rather than going straight for the thing they like the look of most and ignoring everything else.

We have the same rule I had as a child. One stocking present can be opened & played with until we are all awake (for this reason, the top few stocking gifts are books!) Then downstairs for coffee/tea and stockings with nibbles in the lounge. Normally that's around 9ish. Breakfast after stockings (croissants & ham / cheese / jam, Buck's Fizz) then upstairs for wash & dress.

Dogs get walked next (beach mostly, it starts heaving later on in the day) and it takes a good hour or 2.

Main tree presents are spread throughout the day but mostly start after lunch, with gaps for chocolate, music and the occasional game. Day finishes with crispy roast duck pancakes and an evening beach walk.

Got to love a summer Christmas! OP, you are neither awful nor unreasonable :)

We have always had a 7 am rule at Christmas, now our youngest is 10 and eldest 18. I know I shall be the one wide awake waiting for them to wake up !

Stockings will be opened on our bed even though my parents are sleeping in it on Xmas eve boooo as soon as everyone's awake. I'm hoping it won't be too early. Lately the DCs are like me - really sleepy and in hibernation mode in the mornings so I'm hoping it'll stay that way despite the excitement (it has in the past)

We definitely won't be opening everything else straight away, I think we will look at the bigger Santa presents and then have breakfast before everything else. We have ended up with much more than I was expecting - a couple of friends have bought lovely things for the DCs and we even got some gifts from HomeStart who support us - so there is loads to open, we will need to space it out!

Yes you are. No parent should be allowed to have a lie in on Christmas Day. It's the law

When I was a child, Christmas morning usually bean between 2am and 4am when one of us dcs woke up and sneaked downstairs to see if fc had been. Dsis was usually the first awake and was known for going downstairs to see what presents were there. They were not all wrapped up, so she would come and wake us up telling us what we had My parents tried leaving a small gift on the end of the bed, but that just told us that fc had been and 5 minutes later we would be down the stairs. After a couple of hours, we would trundle back to bed and sleep to a more reasonable hour. Then when we woke again we would run to tell our parents what fc had brought.

My dcs have never woken until around 7am. As soon as everybody is up and cup of tea in hand, all the presents are opened. We start with the stockings and then move onto bigger gifts. Early afternoon my family meet at my mums house where we exchange more gifts and boxing day we see dhs family. I would hate to think I missed seeing their faces opening their presents.

I spoke to my mum about her never seeing us open our presents. She said she really didn't mind. She loved listening to us sneaking around, she said it was all part of Christmas and being a child.

YANBU at all.

When we were little nobody opened presents until everyone was dressed and had eaten breakfast, that seemed really unfair .

We have a 6am rule in our house but our two are never up at that time. I normally go in and wake them at about 7:30. When I was growing up we had an official rule of 6am but unifficially anytime after 5am was ok. That's way too early for me.