When to do Xmas with DSD?

[TheNightIsDark]

This year DSD is with her mum Xmas day. Her mum still hasn't let us know when we are having her over Xmas so the only dates we know for sure are this weekend or a fortnights time.

We have already decided that so DSD doesn't feel left out the DCs will only have Santa presents and family presents Xmas day and their ones from us when we are altogether.

When would you do the second Xmas? DP thought this weekend but we risk the wrath of his ex as it might look like we are trying to upstage her Xmas. But then everyone will be waiting weeks if we do it the next weekend.

will you not be having her boxing day? growing up we used to have xmas day with my mum and then another xmas day on boxing day with my dad. both with full on xmas dinner and everything. we loved it. we still go to my dads on boxing day for a buffet tea and drinks.

we have dsc from the 28th to the 4th, their mum won't share Christmas so we have Christmas take 2 on new years day.

they get their stockings on the 28th and presents from us on the 29th (we won't get back from pick up till after 8pm on the 28th so to late to open presents)

new years day we go to mil's house for a Christmas dinner, crackers etc and they get presents from family.

I think that the extra Christmas should be after the 25th but dsc are 15 and 10 so old enough to hold off for a while.

i would find out when you are having her next..boxing day?

then take it from there.

First Christmas should be at primary residence.
My DDs will be getting their stockings, Santa present and presents from friends/family on 25th but then presents from us on 27th when the SDs get here.
The fact that everything will still be under the tree makes it very very exciting!!

We had her Xmas last year and she went to her mums at 7pm Xmas day. Not an option this year as her mum has moved 100 miles away and hasn't responded about Xmas. DP wants to just say well we are having her this week as you're having her Xmas. Apparently her mum has arranged to stay with her sister in our town a few days so we have to work around that.

Oh how complicated! How do all of your children feel about having to delay their presents? I would worry they might resent the step children with having to wait?

Have you asked their mum how she would feel about them having presents before christmas? If it helps we celebrate the solstice (shortest day) here so saturday is like a mini christmas for us anyway and the kids get a gift. It doesnt take away from christmas day at all! I think personally I would aim for that rather than potentially a couple of weeks after christmas.

Our DC are 4,3 & 14 weeks so potentially wouldn't realise as long as Santa came! DSD is 6. Have spoken to her mum and we have her 30th-6th.

In that case then I would probably do it as a New Years thing maybe. Choose either NY eve or day to have a special meal and have the presents from you then. Your DC are young enough to not really mind waiting as they will have had Santa presents already anyway. It could be something that you turn into an annual tradition with all four siblings being together on that date, exchanging gifts. Probably much easier to arrange for that date too, rather than Christmas days itself, as that will always be a day both DSD's parents want to be with her especially.

We always have the step children on boxing day (has always been a agreement between dh and his ex), we do father Christmas and family presents on Christmas day for our dd's and then boxing day we do it again for the step children, we used to keep a few things back for our dd's to open but now the step children are older they usually bring something for the dd's to open (plus they don't have much to open now they are older, usually have some cash and a couple small presents).