Bah humbug! What to do with a 3yr old who keeps changing his mind?

[DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts]

DS (3.5) keeps changing his mind about what he wants from father Christmas, and as he's utterly convinced father Christmas will bring him whatever he wants, it's getting costly and just a teeny bit irritating!

First it was chocolate and Lollypops and cake and icecream, which although a dentists nightmare was an easy Santa order.

I then got him all other pressies and I know he ll really like them: remote control postman pat van, a plastic house on Christmas eve (so sleigh etc, snow & Christmas tree...), and playdoh, and a knights outfit. plus stocking etc,

Next came a nursery created list of

1. Dinosaur
2. Christmas free
3. Car

He has dinosaurs and isn't in the faintest bit interested in them. We have two Christmas trees already so not sure why a third, and loads of cars already. However I bowed to the magic of Christmas
So another plastic Dino, some matchbox cars and a puzzle shaped like a Christmas tree.

NOW someone else has asked him and it's a ruddy train... And on Sunday he's visiting the red man himself and I'm sure if will be something else.

Arghhh! I can't keep buying him more and more things but where to draw the line? And how to keep the magic whilst saying no, Santa will not be getting you anything more!

It's far to late now to ask for more or different presents. Santa's elves have already made/ built toys and are busy packing up the sleigh now ready for Christmas eve, there are so many children to deliver to it takes two weeks to check lists and pack it up

too*

Surely the thing about Santa is you never quite know what he will do. He might get you what you have asked for, or he might surprise you.

Personally if this was my Dd and I could afford it I'd stick with just getting all this stuff, and then when he's older next year try and explain that santa can only get him one present? In the meantime, remind him every now and again what he's already asked santa for, so that hopefully it'll sink in, and if he's asked again, he'll repeat something from the already existing list? Just an idea..

I am trying to think this through from a child's perspective... Does it / could it make sense that FC has already made toys when Ds is visiting him on Sunday?

I want to not buy him a single thing more, but am wondering if the nicest thing to do is get him whatever he asks for to the real FC on Sunday, then say that's it? Or will that be impossible? Everything has to be got on amazon btw so don't know what's their last post date?

What really makes the grinch in me cone out is that he's asking for things that he has already and doesn't like! Grrrrrr. Bah humbug.

I would go with the Santa has already made after Sunday and hope he doesn't ask for anything expensive

Will he remember what he's asked for if he's asked for so much? On christmas morning he probably won't say "but where's such and such?" Because he'll be too busy with the things he has. My ds is a year older than yours and has asked for loads of things but only two consistently. He's getting those two things and although he's mentioned other things since I haven't bought them.

He is 3? I recon whatever he gets he will be happy christmas day and as he has already asked for various things you have bought him if he says 'but i asked santa for x' you can remind him that he said he wanted all the other stuff and Santa sees and hears everything. Seriously though I doubt he will be that bothered about the things he has asked for. I always get the kids things I know they will enjoy even if they havent asked for them and then on the 1st dec we visit santa and they can ask for 1 small gift which we always get.

Calm down :o

He is three, he will probably not even remember his many changed minds anyway! :)

I'd go for the line that father Xmas knows what he will like and that he brings surprises

I meant the calm down nicely BTW! Hope it didn't sound rude. I know it's really tempting to want to get everything they want but I'm sure his little face will light up with the presents you've already got him! :)

Can you brief Santa beforehand (by note?) to tell DS that he'll be bringing him X, Y and Z rather than asking him what he'd like? Or else go over DS's previous letter with him just before he sees Santa ("oh yes, remember that you're asking Santa for X, Y and Z).

My ds is the same. Didn't ask for anything except s christmas tree so I bought him lots of little bits he would like to then say Octonauts house, then the next day a crocodile and yesterday when seeing Santa he said a Batman Car!
I luckily had got him the Octopod from fil and will get him Batman from his Gran.

Bless him. My 3.5 year old really does not get the idea of Christmas being 12 days away still, that we get the presents then, that we get more than one present but not everything in the whole world. She knows it is a Very Very Exciting Thing, but there is still a lot of detail to be filled in.

So if I ask her what she wants she names whatever she has just been playing with, or has just seen. Sand if she has been at nursery school. Peppa Pig toys if she has just seen an episode, a dolly if she is at home. She wanted Baby Jesus after the nursery Nativity play. She asked what I wanted for Christmas yesterday and when I said chocolate she was very cross because it is well known that Santa only brings toys.

So stop taking him so literally. You got him things you know he will actually like which is the important thing. He is 3, he can't possibly make decisions this far ahead about something he doesn't really understand yet.

Ds is 6 and has changed his mind numerous times. And yesterday bought home from school an extensive list containing items like "a quad bike, and please can it be a real one!" So I slightly engineered the actual list we have sent, "oh, wouldn't you like a new bike because yours is much too small?" And he wrote he wanted a new story book which is good because he has got one of those.

But honestly, when it comes to Christmas Day and he opens his presents I don't think he will remember what he asked for, he will just be so pleased with what he has.

He will love whatever is under the tree. He will be fine. He has loads. If he does ask why he didn't get X I would just say Santa must have run out - ha has so many other children to give presents to. Which would be devastating if he has nothing else obv but he has loads and will be so excited.

My DS is 12 and we had the changing the mind thing this week. Aided by DH. DS wanted an iPhone. All along he wantd an iPhone. DH wasn't sure. So over dinner on Monday night we had a discussion with DS and suddenly he wants an xbox. The new one. The one that is practically sold out everywhere! Then DH swans off to Croatia for two days and I have to try source it! Being super mum we now have an xbox. But I wish we had stuck to the iPhone!

I think maybe try and focus on other things about Christmas rather than just the gifts.

You know your child - you know what he would really like. My dd learnt to say in response to what she wanted for Christmas that she would have what she was given and be grateful - you should have seen the look on people's faces!! We never did lists or letters to Father Christmas but on Christmas morning she would say ( and still does at 32) how did you know I really wanted x? Because dd I know and love you and listen to you and engage with you - and that's what Christmas gifts should spring from - not the tacky materialism of advertising and media hype and this year' top toy!! What she focused on in the run up to Christmas from a very early age was buying little gifts for others. You can probably see I feel really strongly about this ' what I want for Christmas rubbish' . And it's all paid off- my dd is the most amazing present buyer and never has to ask us what we want ( any way she knows the answer - we 'll have what we're given etc etc'

he is 3.5 years old!!! You know him better than he knows himself. You shouldn't have bothered with any other stuff other than the stuff you said you knew he would like, which sounded a lovely list indeed. Return the other stuff, as it will just dilute the stuff you know he will like. Again, he is 3.5 years old. Exactly the same age as my DS. I have not even asked him what he would like. I know!

I agree with what others have said, I took no notice of lists at that age as 99% of the time they are just random things that they have thought of or they have copied the child next to them at nursery . At that age they are happy with whatever they get, santa cant always get them everything they have asked for, a list is just a guideline so try not to get to stressed and try and stop buying .

Thank you all for your advice, unfortuneately non of it is relevant as my child was replaced last night by an evil gremlin (cries and rocks in a corner). Honestly, what the hell has happened to him???

He's usually an absolute delight and so charming and sweet and thoughtful, all of which I take full credit for (whilst realizing in my heart that it's pure blind luck!). However he came back from nursery utterly awful and mardy and whiney and every two minutes has a huge screaming tantrum. Ugh! I feel like canceling Christmas in total scrounge mode if this is what Christmas does to him!

On a more sensible note - the reason why I feel so 'duty bound' to get him exactly what's on his list is that he has an incredible memory (not inherited from me), and he has total recall over nearly everything, especially things that he cares about alot, like Christmas.

He can remember every detail from last Christmas and we have to have loooong conversations about why something might be different this year before he ll accept that it's not a tragedy. He also remembers everything anyone has told him about Christmas and if it doesn't match up he needs it explained or he is very cross about it. He's just the sort to work out father Christmas isn't real really early as hes analyzing everything to the nth degree.

Anyway, assuming he's not actually a gremlin, all asks will finish after we see Santa tomorrow. I'm going to tell him it's only what he asked for in the letter and face to face with Santa that counts.

Cider Croatia?!?! and I thought I was falling for the consumerist side of Christmas!

I hope by next year I'll have worked out the primary years of Christmas, where he 'gets' the idea of Christmas and I get the balance right between prebuying/ requests and utter overindulgence/ spartan sensibleness!

I got elf on a shelf but decided not to use him this year as don't like the weirdy spy nature of the elf, or conditional presents... But am tempted to have him arrive tonight!

Oh dear, Christmas is testing my sensible parenting abilities [wry smile... Reaching for the sherry]

Has a sherry with you.

I do wonder if Christmas is such a big deal now it has almost become too stressful for small children. the build-up lasts weeks, which is hard for people with a limited concept of time (though the advent calendar helps).

And everyone gets in on the act so even if you are sensible you can only do damage limitation you can't stop it. I seriously had a police officer stop my DD in the street yesterday and ask her if she'd been good so he could let Santa know on his Santa radio. DD just looked stunned [for context we've had a nasty crime near our house, police out in force trying to make the community feel safe, he was absolutely being lovely and I'm not complaining, just noting that she has adults telling her to be good for Santa or asking her what she wants at least a dozen times a day who are not me].

Anyway, I was a memoriser like your son. Though my DD thankfully is not. My parents were not big present buyers. I don't remember it being a big issue. It was very clear. Father Christmas brought you some presents, not everything you asked for. It wasn't conditional. There were always presents. I was always pleased and surprised. Can you just explain to your DS that he won't get everything he asks for from Santa, but Santa will get him things he knows he really wants and will really love to play with (which is kind of true).

And is he old enough for King John's Christmas?

Croatia was a business trip. Fly in. Meetings. Hotel. More meetings. Hotel. More meetings. Delayed flight back.

Phew! I thought he'd gone there especially!