What do you buy for an 86 year old with terminal cancer?

36 replies

PTFsWife · 12/12/2013 06:50

My lovely MIL has terminal cancer. This is likely her last Christmas with any quality of life, if not her last ever. But I am so stuck as to what to buy for her (it is also her birthday on Christmas day). We normally get her a calendar with pictures of our kids for each month. But somehow buying a calendar for someone who doesn't know how long they will be alive seems macabre. We have got her tickets to a theatre show that my DH will take her to. But any other ideas?

OP posts:

laughingeyes2013 · 13/12/2013 03:45

If a calendar is the tradition definitely do it!

Cancer prognosis isn't always accurate.

But maybe you could make it extra special by personalising it with a family photo calendar this year? That way lots of lovely pictures of loved ones and treasured memories at the same time.

BobCrotchstitch · 13/12/2013 08:35

I have ordered a couple of photo collages from Snapfish that were only a couple of pounds. You just upload your pics, stick them on a collage and then jiggle them about till you are happy with them.
Perhaps you could do that with photos of the DCs. Put in a nice frame it would provide your MiL with something to look at and a reminder of her DGCs.

CMOTDibbler · 13/12/2013 08:37

Lakeland have got a fabulous heated fleece throw that looks luxurious

DrinkFromSantasFountain · 13/12/2013 09:41

I agree with the others who hae said if you usuall get a calendar don't stop it this year, she will possibly be upset knowin that you don't think she'll last the year.
I'm not sure if she's having chemo but if she is what about some lovely silky headscarves? When my da finished her chemo and her hair started growing back she was so I. Love with her scarves that she kept wearing them.

Buy her a fruit tree to plant with your dc, it'll take a couple of years for it to bear fruit and if she has gone when it does you can pick the fruit and tell dc that it's gifts from dgm?

I'm sorry you're going through this, my auntie is in hospital at the moment in the late stages of cervical cancer, it's a horrible time of year to be sick.

laughingeyes2013 · 13/12/2013 09:45

Apologies for my earlier post suggesting you send photos in a calendar - it had escape my attention that you already do send personalised photo calendars!

duchesse · 13/12/2013 09:54

Get her the same you usually get! Definitely a calendar of the children. Also get her any of her favourite chocs, tipples etc, even things that aren't "good for her". Difficult times for you all with what's ahead, but she is still alive, and cancer services are so good these days that people live with very advanced cancer for far longer than they used to.

duchesse · 13/12/2013 09:55

If she's on chemo and losing her hair get or make her a lovely soft hat (angora? or similar) and scarf.

Original poster

PTFsWife · 14/12/2013 13:02

thanks all - and especially to CMOTDibble as I went for the Lakeland heatable throws. Thanks for the heads up on those.

OP posts:

lljkk · 14/12/2013 13:04

If it were me I would have liked an experience, so cinema tickets, tickets to see a musical, meal out voucher etc.

Original poster

PTFsWife · 14/12/2013 15:14

We have also got her tickets for a theatre production. Food is out as she has mouth cancer and is embarrassed to eat out in public as it's messy

OP posts:

ValiumQueen · 14/12/2013 18:15

We are faced with a similar situation sadly. This thread has been very helpful. Although I must admit I nearly fainted at the cost of the heated throws. I bet it is lovely though.

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