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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Anyone else have a grumpy DH/DP and wants a mutual moan?

16 replies

ImNotReallyHere · 29/11/2013 00:01

I just mentioned getting a tree (real) next week and DH looked at me as if I was mad. I love christmas, he puts up with it. Anyone else got a grumpy partner and wants to join me in a moan?

OP posts:

3bunnies · 29/11/2013 00:05

Mine bans all mention of it until December - we've been playing Christmas CDs in my car as an antidote to the grinchiness. He will thaw once December starts but it is always a scrabble to get the advent calendar out of the loft - he doesn't get that it needs to come down now ready for Sunday.

Original poster

ImNotReallyHere · 29/11/2013 00:08

Mine doesn't get advent calendars as he never had one! For him, Xmas starts on 24th december

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lookoveryourshouldernow · 29/11/2013 00:16

...PM me and we can have a "Bah Humbug" fest...

My Pratner is just the same - I have learnt over the years to ignore him and just go ahead and decorate...

If he had his way we would live in a house with no doors, no curtains and the lights and heating would be turned off after 6.00pm in evening..

For the first few years I was compliant - but NO WAY - he knows that now but he is anal but can't help himself - but sure as hell if I want to decorate I will ... his contribution will be getting the boxes down from loft.

Whether he enjoys the end result - who knows - secretly I know that he does but can't bring himself to admit it ...

Buy the tree and sod the consequences - just make sure that you don't bring it indoors to early as it may wilt and nothing worse than the "I told you so" ....

Original poster

ImNotReallyHere · 29/11/2013 00:24

ha ha. are u sure you are not married to my husband? He's French so for the first few years I put it down to 'cultural differences' but 10 years on I realise he's just grumpy and not into Xmas - unlike me who is on mumsnet every free night I have :-)

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callmekitten · 29/11/2013 02:46

My Dh is that ay too. But for him, it seems to have a lot to do with his upbringing. His family was pretty troubled as he was growing up and there was a lot of pressure on Christmas to be a great shining moment for the family. And, of course, things would not run smoothly and his Mom would be disappointed and his Dad would be angry and the kids weren't sure what they should feel. DH still feels a bit of dread as the holidays approach.

So, over the years, we have settled into an understanding about Christmas. I have pinpointed the things that are most important to me and he helps out with those things (not always happily, however) and I try to keep things a little more low key than I would like so that he will not feel like there are unreasonable pressures on the holidays.

JanetSnakehole · 29/11/2013 03:30

Lol at pratner!

Justshabbynochic · 29/11/2013 03:48

My DP is a little like that this year. We've had a tough year though (his DM died just a month ago) so I think he's just not really (understandably!) in the mood.

I keep giving him little nudges here and there and he seems to slowly be coming around so we'll see...

thekitchenfairy · 29/11/2013 05:44

pmsl at Pratner! So pleased to find this thread. Scrooge took up residence in my life when I met DH 12 yrs ago...He thinks Xmas costs about £100...

He grew up in a house of no Xmas fun, sensible presents that encouraged quiet play, a bog standard (awful) roast chook for lunch and not a selection box or decoration in sight.

I have encouraged him along over the years... Prosecco and carols when the tree goes up, mulled wine while wrapping DCs pressies and when we get there in the end it is ok but I have to sit through 3 months of his whinging and rolling his eyes at every little Xmas excitement the DCs and I have.

So this year MIL is coming... She has decreed she will buy no adults gifts and wants none herself... But considering 2 yrs ago I got control pants about 4 sizes too big for me perhaps that's a good thing!

I think this is eldest's last year as a 'believer', so there is no room for bah humbug in this house!

thekitchenfairy · 29/11/2013 05:54

justshabby thst is tough for all of you. my DH lost his dad 4 years ago just before Christmas, I shouldered all the fun stuff even more than usual as he just couldn't do it. I had to have stern words with MIL who wanted to cancel christmas... and remind her how awful that would be to a 3 and 6 year old! In fact last yr was the first time the loss didnt overshadow all the festivities for DH, it took a while.

I did find that while doing all the prep etc was knackering for me it made it easier for him to just jump in on the day. we also had a lovely moment Xmas eve where he mulled wine while I wrapped v late Xmas eve and when it was all done we just stopped and had a chat about our year together, and inevitably his dad. It's become our tradition now, tho I do try to wrap a bit earlier in Dec!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 29/11/2013 06:08

DP drove me round various shops yesterday because I couldn't find the right lights. Of course, he would have been happy with the awful ones in the first shop.

Now the tree is up, despite his protests and I know he secretly likes it. I also painted the window with fake snow and it was a stupid idea, now its quite nice apparently.

I must have got through to him a little bit because he has decided we are going to the xmas market tomorrow. He's not cured but its a start. :)

CrotchStitch · 29/11/2013 07:45

DH is incapable of any form of enthusiasm so holidays, Christmas etc involve me in a writhing, foaming mass while he looks slightly bewildered and feigns a polite interest when necessary. It's not exactly grinchiness, just his natural way. Tragically DS at 9 is becoming a bit like that as big school has made him see that excitement is for babies
So I am relegated to winding the puppy up so we can be excited together :o

Mylittlepotofjoy · 29/11/2013 08:32

I have 5 children and my hd seems to think that Christmas just happens !!!! No help no planning from him. I buy all the presents write all the cards even to his herd of relatives. I nag about buying his parents presents and normally buy their presents myself !!!! All very annoying . He then goes shopping on Christmas Eve for me get our daughter to do his wrapping and then tells me how exhausting Christmas is arrrggghhh .

He does help with the dinner but only because roast meat is not my forte !!!! Happy holidays everyone

NannyPlumForPM · 29/11/2013 08:41

Oh I'll join- but I will say that DP cooks all the dinner pretty much and is generally a Luffly person in case he reads but Christmas is an over commercialised waste of time that people get themselves into debt when they don't need to for the sake of keeping up with the jones's.

He doesn't buy presents, can't think of anything I would like and says it will be cheaper in the new year. When asked what he wants "I have everything I need" and yep seems to think that the whole shebang should cost about £50.

I did christmas already :-D trees up with 3 sets of lights, and the house is slowly turning into a grotto

Bye bye scrooge mwahahaha

Original poster

ImNotReallyHere · 29/11/2013 11:02

So I'm not alone then. I also buy all the presents including his family, put up the tree with the kids, write the cards, take the kids to panto etc etc.
He does buy and cook the turkey but only as he wants it to be edible. The rest of the time he just rolls his eyes every time the postman turns up at the door with another amazon parcel.

Thekitchenfairy - lol to the control pants. My MIL has suggested just token adult presents this year. She considered a tray a main present last year so no idea what my token gift will be

OP posts:

TravelinColour · 29/11/2013 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

enormouse · 29/11/2013 13:28

So glad I found this thread. My DP is slowly turning into his dad who is known as 'grumpy George' to all and sundry.

I think it's to do with his mum and sister going massively over the top at Christmas (every year there's a fight over how many trees the house needs) and making it very stressful for everyone involved. So he associates Christmas with whinging, bickering and yelling. He's better now we just celebrate together but prefers to leave the decorations and sparkly shite (his words) to me.

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