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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Spending on Parents v PILs

4 replies

AbiRoad · 28/11/2013 15:28

In our house, I do the christmas shopping for my side of the family (plus DH and most of the DC's stuff). DH is responsible for choosing and buying for his side of the family (plus me). My family have always spent generously at Christmas, DH's side more token presents (but thoughtful). Hence, my parents tend to get more expensive presents than PILs. Same applies to siblings. As it happens I earn significantly more than DH although we have always basically treated money as joint. The reason why more is spent on my side of the family is therefore not because of my higher earnings but just what DH chooses to get, but I would hate for PILs (who I adore) to think that. Do you think I should be insistent that my DH spends more (he does for big anniversaries and birthdays and things like that)? We do not all Christmas together, so it is not like my PILs see my parents opening more expensive gifts, but they were asking what i am getting my parents this year. I was abel to say I have not decided yet (which was true) but realised I would probably be a bit embarassed if i had already got something and had to tell them what it was)

OP posts:
Pogosticks · 28/11/2013 15:32

I think its fine. We are the same but in reverse, ie my family do more modest gifts and ILs very generous and I don't think it matters at all.

AdoraBell · 28/11/2013 15:39

As your DH is responsable for buying his DP's gifts simply direct them To DH if they seem To need To compare. I know my PILS do notice these things and I also leave my DH To arrange his side.

Saying you haven't bought yet is perfect but I would add a gentle "and DH hasn't told me what he's buying for you, who wants tea?"

I think it doesn't matter as long as one sibling/rellie isn't habitualy given gifts much cheaper than everyone else.

AbiRoad · 28/11/2013 15:54

To be fair to my in-laws, I dont think they were comparing/would compare, think they were just making chat as we had been talking about christmas shopping. it is just that MIL's question made me think about it (after more than 10 years together!) and I realised that I would be horrified if they ever thought that I felt that my parents were somehow more deserving because I earn more than DH. Not that they woudl think this, so probably just me projecting.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 28/11/2013 17:00

Yes, could just be a little projection, lot's of us do it.

Hope you all have a happy Christmas.

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