Please help me plan Christmas Day with the DC

[MotherofthreeDragons]

This will be our first Christmas just me and my 3 DC,
We have alway had family with us - EXP, who has better things to do now, DF, he passed and DM and DB, who are newly estranged (if that's the correct term!)

Last year DM & DB turned up to eat and then went ASAP and I could see how devastated they were.

So, I need to make it as fun as possible, not spending hours in the kitchen, so will use prepped food and I have brought one game (headbandz) but I need ideas of how to spend the day, fun and to help them forget how much they have lost in the last few years.

They are 13, 6 & 2.5

Oh Mother, I'm so sorry for your loss and the difficult year you've all had. I'm not sure how to advise you as I've just got the one ds and he's just 12 weeks. didn't want to read and run though.

Do you have some traditions that you want to uphold or do you want to begin a load of new ones?

BTW My mum was a lp and Christmas was always (and still is) fab with just her!

My mum was a LP and our Christmases after my GPs passed looked like this:

• Wake up and do stockings all piled in together in DM's bed
• Snacky breakfast of croissants and fruit then tree presents
• Champagne and nibbles with family friends - see who's about in the late morning, loads of people will be desperate to escape gravy wars and MiLs
• Lunch, but not too late. Eat all the things you like - doesn't have to be a traditional spread
• Everyone take a nap, because naps are awesome
• Long walk
• Back for DVD and leftover tea, loads of quality street and mince pies

Thank you jess my son comments constantly on how much he misses them all, which does leave me feeling I'm not quite enough for him and his Dad has always been the fun one, I'm the misrable one who does the work

Which is why I want Christmas the start of us making memories together.

We have some traditions (I alway was trying to create traditions when with EXP, much to his annoyance) we always have a takeaway on Christmas Eve after we get back from a Christmassy activity (this year I'll take them to the the cinema) To find a hamper (Pjs, toy, annual ect)

But Xmas Day has always been me running around, so need Christmas Day traditions, ideally, party games or just something fun that keeps us busy and not dwelling.

A walk is out of the question, as it would be too upsetting as we had to rehome our beloved dog and its still to raw to pass other people walking their dogs.

Do you have any friends / neighbours who are on their own on Xmas day that you could invite? It might help to take the focus away from gaps left by family as you will all be busy with guests.

I live at the 300 miles away from my family so its not always possible to go home for Eid so I have an open door policy & its lovely. Various people pop in during the day, play with my dc & chat so the pressure is off me being the main entertainer iyswim. Sometimes you can end up puttung so much pressure on to create a perfect day that it invariably gets ruined by sniping & grumpiness.

Well after stockings then main presents (and an hour or so of playing with them), we would always make a lovely breakfast together in our pjs. We would usually have a big stack of American-style pancakes with bacon and syrup which were obviously great fun to make when we were younger and washed down with bucksfizz/oj and lemonade. We wouldn't eat the main roast until late on so this would see us through, giving us plenty of time to play with our new stuff!

Massively agree with raisah about putting too much pressure on yourself. It sounds like you have a wonderfully exciting day planned Christmas eve.

And don't worry about being seen as 'the boring one'; my mother would've said the same but we were more than aware of how much she loved us and definitely preferred spending Christmas with her than our (when he could very bothered) 'fun' Dad. It

Have the two older dcs mentioned whether or not they are excited about Christmas this year?

Unfortunately my best friend has had some losses in her family too, so we will be at her DMs, but we have new year to look forward to with them, Which the children are looking forward too. And we're new to an area, so don't know anyone in the area.

I like the idea of a 'fancy' breakfast

That's nice to here Jess It's something that really worries me, I really hope my DCs feel the same as you did. It's really nice to hear

Yes, they have said there excited, but last year did end up all snippy and tantrums on everyone's part inc me maybe your right, maybe a pj day with no pressure is the way to go?

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A few codes & deals to help you stretch your money further to create a lovely day for you all.

Had you considered going out for dinner? I know it's expensive but would be a large part of the day, particularly if the DCs have new clothes, hair gel/ bobbles etc. they can get togged up with. This will of course only work if your DCs would be sufficiently excited about eating out (DS would die of anticipation at the prospect!)
Do you have any religious beliefs? If you are in any way that way inclined there will be crib services, midnight mass etc where you will hopefully also get to meet new people. You're not signing up to a year of full church attendance, our church sees a great upturn in numbers over Christmas.
Treasure hunt in the morning? A note from Santa explaining that he dropped their stockings by accident and did not have time to pick them up but has left a trail of chocolate coins to help them find their stockings? Get the eldest in league with you on this one.
It sounds really tough but I'm sure your DCs will be fine and enjoy whatever you decide

Church? Can be very festive and lovely
Visit an old persons home and do some singing, playing games
Just dance on the wiki is brilliant fun
Make a massive den, crawl inside for hot chocolates, treats and a simple game of pairs/snap
Hide and seek in the house
And I apologise if this is insensitive, but is a new dog out of the question? A new puppy for Christmas? Sorry if that is an upsetting thong for to to suggest.
Make salt doh decorations
Purée make gingerbread houses and decorate them
Can you skype with friends and other family?

This my my first Christmas with my dcs and my big plan is not to plan too much

We will get up when we feel like (their dad had a 7.30 rule!)

Pastries and stuff for breakfast, the meal will be ready when it's ready

If we want to spend all day in pjs we will and chocolate will not be rationed!

I think 13 is old enough to contribute and may enjoy having a role. Something like choosing breakfast, perhaps making a component?

My DSSs are 8 and 5 and both enjoyed looking through my cookbooks and being responsible for choosing a dish we'd eat over the festive period.

My IL's have a trick of making the present opening last longer, each person takes it in turns to wear a Santa hat & hand out one present to each person to open. Then we go & do something else for five minutes and start again. I find it fairly tedious but everyone else loves it & it takes up a LOT of time.
There are also particular DVDs that must be watched every Christmas otherwise it's not Christmas.

Could you ask your DCs if there is anything special they'd like to start doing?

Sorry my last post was full of auto correct!

I meant pre-make not purée and thing not thong!

Sorry for your losses.

I think plan it almost like a party for DC. So you have something to do, if you want to relax and they seem ok relaxing too great, but if not you have some activities up your sleeve.....

stockings, breakfast, tree presents, playing with presents, film or read book? lunch....put music on dance, silly dances, board games....some simple baking, have biscuit dough already made ( can make and freeze weeks in advance) and do some simple stuff....

Get the dvd Elf - it's the kind of film that kids and adults can enjoy. I love it :)

I think that relaxed is the way forward; maybe get some Christmas pjs for everyone to wear on the day? A nice breakfast of croissants etc, opening stockings, no fretting about time.

You could get some playing cards for snap etc. Nice easy board games like Snakes and Ladders.

Hope you have a lovely day :)

After speaking with the DC, I have a few plans for the day, my DD1 (13) wants breakfast In bed whilst opening stockings and Ds (6) just wants me to spend some time with just him, so DD1 will amuse DD2 whilst I spend time with him. DD2 (2) when asked what she wants just said 'chocolate' so that's her sorted I have decided to stager the pressies through out the day, rather than the usual opening the gifts first thing to avoid the grumpyness mid afternoon and will play a few games after dinner like pictionary via my DD1s chalkboard in her bedroom (I just need to make up some cards :)

For the first time in months, I'm feeling positive and actually looking forward to Christmas

One of the things that DH and I do thats our special christmas treat is a meal entirely of dessert in the evening . We don't have pudding with our roast meal, and then have trifle, christmas pudding, mince pies and whatever ds has chosen as a buffet so you can have as much pudding as you like.
Breakfast is also an unrestricted meal, so if someone wants trifle for breakfast, thats OK. Makes the day extra special

I'm sure it will be lovely, dragons . Another one with a feckless 'fun' (occasionally) father who has grown up with an appreciation for my grumpy but tirelessly working mother here.

Our Christmas traditions are a bit unorthodox as we have livestock to deal with, but it think the key is to just go with the flow and enjoy yourselves - nothing regimented, just good food, friendly games (don't get too competitive now ) and nice festive films on the tv!