This doesn't seem right.

[Mum2one2]

We do alternate Christmas between my family and dh, this year it's my family's turn, I've just been sent a text saying we are having Christmas Day there on the weekend before with dinner and gifts etc. I think this is unfair as my dcs are having Christmas before Christmas, I think this spoils the magic if they've already had Christmas presents food etc. I'm really cross but am possibly wrong, we are going there all day Boxing Day anyway.

I agree with you, seems a bit peevish to me.
Can u text back and say you already have plans that day? I would!

Who sent the text? Were they asking or telling you because if its the latter I would be annoyed and refusing to go on principle!

They might love two christmases...how old are they?

Or you could tell them it's a trial run for Christmas day? And then have your own, smaller Christmas at home.

(it would feel wrong to me too though)

Exchange family gifts on the weekend, but Santa doesn't come till Christmas proper. That's the exciting bit.

Two Christmas dinners in a week sounds a bit dull though. Can you suggest a different meal?

I was pretty much told, which is annoying, dc are baby and 3 year old, it's the first real Christmas she's kind of understood, I know il go and it will be nice but I feel a bit cheated on behalf of my family too.

Could you do your own christmas for/with your dd? Let her choose dinner, hold back a special present and small stocking so she knows Santa has been, get her involved in baking or making things?

Do your family have other plans for Christmas Day itself, is someone working that day or something?

If you are guests of your parents/family, you do really have to go along with what suits them.

Perhaps they would be relieved if you suggested you'd do Christmas in your own home this year, with just immediate family.

Alternate years with inlaws can become trying after a while.

My parents' family were spread far and wide. We often had 3-4 Christmases, it was brilliant!

However, presents from the relatives we saw before Christmas were always saved for the day. No Christmas presents to be opened before Christmas Day, ever!

Do you mean you're going to your IL's the week before despite being there on Boxing Day?

I'm sure you're busy the weekend before Christmas TBH....That said too many presents in one go isn't good for a 3yo, they get bored before they're all opened so it might not be altogether a bad thing.

You're right it's not right. Just text back saying you have many plans, sorry can't make it, see you Boxing Day.

I'm a bit confused now. It's your family's turn for Xmas, but they aren't doing it on Christmas Day? What are they doing on Christmas Day then?

I thought you were going to the ILs for Xmas and your family had decided to trump them by doing it first.

Hm. Yes, I'm confused too now. I thought you were going to your family on Christmas Day and had received a summons from in-laws to attend their own event the weekend before.

I think a lot can be misread in a badly worded text. It may have sounded worse than it is. I would be talking directly to family and finding out the circumstances; it could be a sibling celebrating with their DC before they go to their mothers' family for Christmas itself for example, or maybe the only chance to all be together. Peoples plans can change very suddenly, you can't expect everything to be the same every year.

You could not go and see them on Boxing day, or you could go but agree to exchange but not unwrap gifts, or just unwrap gifts from your side of the family there, saving your gifts to your DC and those from DH's relatives and others until the day itself, and stockings.

I don't see a problem with having two Christmas dinners, as they will be a few days apart. Also spreading out the presents is often a good idea.

If it's meant to be their turn to host Xmas... Wtf are they actually doing on Xmas day then?
Bloody cheeky to be honest! I would be pissed off!

Don't know if this reassures you or not, but we do this normally in our family - I see it as a really lovely way to spend actual Xmas day with just the DCs and have a really chilled out time. Having 'Christmas' the week before with GPs and their presents doesn't seem to make a dent on the excitement for the real day!

Sorry, that should have said 'You could not go and agree to see them on Boxing day as planned'.

You must discuss this by phone or in person as a two way dialogue, texting isn't appropriate for such an emotive subject, and there may be circumstances that could not be mentioned by text. Once you are in possession of the facts, you are better placed to decide what you will do, and if that is staying at home with DH and DC and having Christmas on Christmas day, so be it.