Please help me boost the spirit of my dc who has just discovered Santa isn't real.

[IslaValargeone]

First thing I should say is she is 11! However she is very sensitive, quirky and lives in la-la land half the time anyway, so I'm not entirely surprised we have got this far.
We have had tears and much "I don't want to grow up" and she now thinks Christmas will have lost its magic. She has some medical problems at the moment which I think are the main cause of this angst. She is quite low, not eating well and feeling a bit vulnerable.
If you are going to chuck grips and shout pfb etc, please don't bother.
I just need to cheer up my baby while she is down.

That's a shame, Isla. Do you have a xmas market with a carnival or ice rink around? You could go for a day out together - maybe even do a bit of xmas shopping for her. Have a lovely mother-daughter shopping trip, show her it can be special in a different way

I told mine that we will all carry on pretending. So we do!
We still put stockings out, maybe leave a mince pie etc.
So do loads of other people. Well going by mumsnet anyway!

Is your town having the xmas lights switched on this weekend? Or any big city near you? that's always good for putting the magic back into christmas,

Aww bless her :(

Are there younger children around? I really like what I read on here about there being two types of people at Christmas - the 'magic believers' and the 'magic makers'. So when you're old enough to stop believing, you become a magic maker instead! I wish I could remember who posted that, I really love it and I hope I can remember it when the time comes. Anyway, if there's younger DCs in the family that she will be seeing during the festive period, it might help to get her involved with the behind the scenes stuff, jingling sleigh bells, making Santa footprints etc?

Oh and I agree definitely keep the pretence going if she wants to, she can still have a stocking 'from Santa ' etc

We agreed that Christmas was a magical time and santa was just a way for little people to visualise the magic. Regardless of that the Christmas magic is still real..a lot of people are kinder and more giving and looking out on a starry night with lights twinkling, excitement in the air and the promise of the day to come its not hard to believe. (However, back to reality and the ironing now!)

Thanks so much for the quick responses.
Maybe that's the way forward, just pretend anyway, she usually makes such a big deal out of leaving stuff for Rudolph
We won't be able to make much of Christmas shopping and lights etc as she can't walk well at the moment.

I'm with Fuzzpig.

It is easier to be a magic maker if she has siblings or close cousins.

I'm dreading DS (9) finding out, although I think he is realising this year.

If you keep on believing, he keeps coming. DDs 18 and 16 still put stockings out and someone keeps filling them up.
Can you get DD involved with cooking, making decorations and decorating the house, planning the route for delivering Christmas cards, etc etc?

If she can't walk well, then see if you can borrow a wheelchair from the Red Cross for a bit to take her out to a christmas market and do all the lights etc.

Watch a Christmas movie with her tonight.

Hello OP, we carried on pretending as well, I think it makes Christmas extra special.
Tell her you'll still give pressies and have stockings, and it will be just the same.
Why not watch a Christmas film, make decs together, make a gingerbread house etc. Kids like this at all ages.

How about 'another night before Christmas' by carol Ann Duffy, illustrated by rob Ryan? I got it a couple of years ago for a gift, from memory it goes girl finds out father Christmas doesn't exist and is all sad, but finds the magic of Christmas anyway. It's a beautiful book and makes a lovely inexpensive gift.

I love the magic maker idea.

Hi,

There is a letter on Pinterest that is so sweet, explains it all in a great way, so you still believe the magic.
It is put in the form of a letter
You need to be able to believe in things you can't see or hold, now you know the secret of who comes down the chimney and filled all your stockings, he has help from all the people he has filled with joy, we are the people that wrap the presents just like our parents did for us, and you will one day do for your children.
Not one person can be santa, he is lots of people who fill our hearts with joy, and keep the spirit of xmas alive

Santa is love and happiness, we are on his team and so are you, so we need to keep the magic.

Good luck
Sam

Aah bless her my DS also believed long after his peers and devastated at the loss of the magic. He still plays along with the magic and mysteriously still gets a stocking from Santa. a

A kind Mumsnetter sent me this letter to send to him (sorry long but I sent it onj Christmassy paper from the North Pole):

You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”
I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.
The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.
I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my Mum did for me, and the same way her Mum did for her. (And yes, Dad helps, too.)
I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.
This won’t make you Santa, though.
Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.
It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.
Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like Dad and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.
So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.
I love you and I always will.
Mum(my) xxxxxx

This thread has put such a smile on my face :)

My kids are younger but we do various advent activities and maybe you could do something similar to build the excitement, definitely watch some Christmas films, make some decs for the house, do some baking (gingerbread men are a favourite here because they need decorating but maybe make Christmas cake or pudding this weekend?), put some Christmas music on, read some Christmas stories. Definitely keep filling stockings, I got one until I got married!

Magic makers and magic believers here too.
Now that she knows, she has a very special role: she's a magic maker for her cousins, friends' younger siblings etc. musn't tell or the spell gets broken. Magic makers get a special secret assignment for the first time they find out.
Hugs.

X post with newbebe my son (now nearly 13) still loves Christmas and it's still magical in our house

Damn, posted too soon. Just make some new slightly more grown up traditions so she can enjoy Christmas in a different way. Love the magic maker idea as well.

Just because she found out the truth doesn't mean that she has to become a 'Magic Maker' as fuzzypig describes so nicely - she can just carry on pretending, my DD is 9.5 and worked it out a couple of years ago, so I could not lie to her but asked her to keep pretending for DD2s sake, and since then she's become an accomplished actress, sometimes makes me wonder if she DOES still believe.

If you have just fun traditions like the putting out stuff for Santa and Rudolph, just carry on doing them (as long as she's happy to do so) to keep the magic alive. ( oh cheesy expression sorry but I mean it that way )

Also - have you ever arranged to get letters from Santa (like the NSPCC ones)? those can be brilliant and you can get some for 'kids who are on the verge of not believing'.