how bad do i feel?

[yehudiwho]

my ds age 10 has been Mithering for a year about Santa, apparently half his mates KNOW its their parents, what if I send a letter without you seeing it- will I get what I ask for??. Then tonight went on and on and asked me direct . I prevaricated but he went on and on. I don't want to lie so after half an hour of direct questions I said no he doesn't - you're right. Result ds cries for another half an hour and says ' I still wanted to believe' between sobs

So we had a chat and he said ' there might have been a man at the north pole who looked like santa ' ' very likely ' I say and the compromise is that he will still believe that Santa delivers his advent pocket calendar and his stocking ( because I apparently don't know how they turn up....)

oh my

Lol. I remember DD1 asking me why parents were so cruel and lie to children when she found out.

I told my dd that Christmas is about wonder and magic and santa is a representation for little ones of that magic. Ds is old enough to understand that although santa is a story the magic that surrounds Christmas is still real and always will be.

santa is real but just not in the way he has believed until now. The magic of santa comes from the people who love him who believe the stories and play the game. Now he is older he gets to play the game too and keep the magic alive - its definitely real and he totally can still believe!

Why not research the story of St Nicholas with DS? It is where we get the tradition of hanging stockings by the fireplace, and gold (choc) coins. Briefly, he was a kind and generous man who saw some young women who were almost destitute, through the window of their home. Knowing that being so poor would mean they would never attract a husband, and therefore end up homeless and as prostitutes (don't tell DS that bit, just the homeless bit) he threw some gold coins through the window and hurried away. The story goes that the coins landed in their woollen stockings which were hanging in front of the fire to dry, and they had a dowry for their marriage.

You can talk about St Nicholas as the model for the more modern Santa, but the spirit and generosity of Christmas with presents and sharing meals together is there whether you believe in him or St Nicholas.

You can elaborate on the generosity angle by making a donation to a charity, or a local organisation, are there any books or toys he no longer needs for example, or he could give some pocket money.