Advice for a starting to panic first-time Christmas hostess. Gulp.

[ladymontdore]

I thought I was calm - just lunch for 5 adults + 2 dcs. No problem.

But then I looked in a magazine and there are so many different bits, and nibbles and drinks and ......

And Ils and SIL all staying from the 24th till the 29th! (and they are annoying)

Argh!

It will be fine.
For a start, ignore all the magaziney stuff about nibbles for now. Just focus on the big meals and how many people you'll have at each, and write a list plus shopping list for each.
Then write a list of all the extra everyday stuff you'll need to have in like tea and loo rolls.
The key is to not be afraid to do some simple arithmetic - don't think 'How many bags of loo rolls? Two? Four?' in a blind panic, do some estimations of how much you usually get through per person and scale it up systematically and then add a bit.
Then the key to the actual thing not being stressful is making sure other people muck in and you're not expected to do all the washing up and make all the cups of tea. Don't be afraid to delegate.

Buy some ready made posh gravy, decant into plain containers and then freeze. If on Christmas day your gravy is a disaster you can stick the ready made stuff in the microwave and lie about having made it in advance and frozen it.
You could do this with stuffing, bread sauce etc too. Never be afraid of lying especially to annoying inlaws.

It's fine really once you get your basic organisation done. My DP's are with us 23-28th and they are nightmarish
They will offer to help but it's their totally laid back attitude to doing anything that gets me climbing the walls. An example would be them saying "shall we eat out tonight?" We will all agree to this and they will not leave the house until 8pm, by which time DS and I could chew a hand off through hunger.
To counter this I meal plan and inform them what we are eating and when. I ask if they fancy eating out but then book it as "the pub gets very busy" I make a load of different soups and then either set the bread maker up or buy part baked rolls and we have them for lunch- the choice is there but if they decide to go out there's no waste.
I supply enough tea, coffee, sugar, milk, biscuits etc and tell them to help themselves. Similarly I buy several different cereals, plenty of bread, jam, yoghurt, fruit etc and leave them to their own devices for breakfast unless we are planning something like a fry up. I also show them where the washing stuff is kept in case they want to do any washing, at the same time pointing out the dishwasher tablets, spare kitchen spray etc
I think it makes people feel more at home and let's them know that they are free to make themselves a drink etc so they are not relying on you all the time.

First and foremost, this is your Christmas your way. Make what you feel comfortable cooking.

Don't plan nibbly bits every day, choose days when you will have a main meal and a buffet selection for tea/supper. Have simple lunches such as soup and a roll, or sandwiches, or jacket potato on other days. Arrange meals to eat when you choose, but at sensible times for DC.

Regarding drinks, stick mainly to wine and beer and soft drinks. Don't go mad buying lots of spirits and mixers unless you know they will be drunk, likewise cocktail stuff. Very expensive, let everyone know they can bring any particular favourites themselves.

Remember Christmas dinner is essentially just a roast. Sauces can be made a couple of days in advance then just reheated (or buy them!). If you're concerned about gravy just buy chilled ready made. Stuffing can be made ahead and frozen, or mixed up on Christmas Eve then put in the fridge and cooked on the day. Potatoes can be par-boiled on Christmas Eve too so they just need finishing in the oven, again veg can be prepared on Christmas Eve and left in a saucepan of cold water overnight.

How old are the children? We often have a starter for Christmas dinner but I'm not bothering this year, it's a long time for young ones to sit through a three course meal without getting bored when they'd rather be playing with their presents. I'm planning on putting out some party food late morning that the grown ups can have with a glass of bubbly instead.

Don't stress about the "perfect" dinners, decorations etc shown in the magazines. They don't exist! As far as dinner is concerned the best advice I ever heard was from Marco Pierre White...he said most folk go wrong by massively over catering and struggling to get things in their oven etc. he said you should picture what should be on a single plate - 2 or 3 slices of turkey, 3 or 4 roasties, 2 or 3 pigs in blankets, a few sprouts, parsnips etc. then scale up. Don't cook 2 bags of sprouts for 5 people! It sounds so obvious but I've found it really helpful. I also keep starters simple and just get some really good smoked salmon and lovely brown bread. Pudding is shop bought usually from M&S. keeps life simple!

Ooh I need this! Bumping to read later

Just don't get pissed on champagne at breakfast.

We've hosted 4 times now and theory things we've found that help are:

• Pre-prepare everything you can - veg even gets peeled, cut and in water in pan on Christmas Eve as its' the one day I don't worry about losing all the vitamins etc!.
• Have a timed to the minute list for Christmas Day so you know when everything goes on. Then you can work out when is the best time to do pressure opening/drinks with family/sit down with mince pie etc
• Judicious use of ready prepped stuff. We use pre-prepped ready-in-tray veg and frozen profiteroles for our Christmas Eve dinner so the effort is focused on Christmas Day
• use disposable roasting tins so it can all just be binned on Christmas Day. Makes clearing away less overwhelming.
• don't plan a fancy meal for every meal. Have some homemade soup in the freezer and then you can just reheat that with the plentiful leftovers and nibbles that you'll have.

Good luck!

Lots of good advice above. My MIL has perfected Christmas catering over the years. She keeps a notebook, with a copy of her shopping receipts (so that she can see what she bought next year) along with any notes - eg. forgot sherry, bought too much loo roll!

She also lists what the weather was like, who was there, where they slept and what she cooked - a quick menu plan for each day. Then next year she can tweak it, but doesn't have to start planning all over again.

We all love looking back through it (she also does a big Easter lunch) and seeing what the weather was like, or which year it was that Uncle X brought along his dodgy girlfriend etc.

Serve roasted gammon ham joint on Christmas Eve (have the first crackers too) so you have cold ham to go with the turkey on Boxing Day.

My mum is ace at this. She does a plan for each day over the Christmas period and writes down what she intends to serve for each meal (including breakfast and snacks). She also photocopies any recipe she is going to use so they are all in one place and she isn't leafing through cookbooks at a crucial moment.
She also does timings for each meal, working backwards from when she wants to ready so that every joint or dish is in the oven at the right time.

With family Christmases like these do you think it is any wonder that I went into event production?

All the above ideas are great, I was going to add, can your guests be roped in to do a meal one eve? If so, you can get a break. Also in my family the blokes do the starter/pudding and the women do the mains on Christmas day.

I also serve gammon on Christmas Eve....I do a big one then it can be eaten with cold turkey and leftover bits on christmas night.

Delia does a lovely black treacle gammon with amazing crackling...it's dead easy, just shove the treacle on and put in oven for hours, deli gammon I've never made the sauce so don't think it's essential but this one looks good.

Have an idea of what every meal is going to be - really easy to focus on the big Xmas dinner and completely forget to have the makings in for sandwiches at tea time.

One of those ideas can be - no, should be, with them staying that long! - a meal out.

Decide what help you want in the kitchen, insist on it - be realistic, if one of the rellies is an idle PITA, don't bother, it'll just cause resentment. This includes if you want NO help - I am a massive control freak in the kitchen and repel all boarders.

Wine is your friend, but not too much. That said, if you manage Xmas dinner single-handedly it should be the one time of the year you can drink too much with your meal (not while cooking, this leads to woe, and trips to A&E) and then retire to bed while everyone else washes up.

I have catered for 25 for xmas on a couple of occasions. I nearly shat myself when I realised I had been landed the job, but it was ok once I had planned it out. I cooked the turkey and pork the night before and the crackling too. Make up stuffing and pigs in blankets (or buy them in. I made as it was costly for 25). I made gravy from the giblets and an onion. I also boiled a gammon and froze the stock. You can use this as a base for soup over the next day/s.
Prepare all your veg the night or a couple of days before. Put them in freezer bags with a slosh of water and store them in the garden in a sturdy box (we did this last year in an ottoman and forgot the brocolli - we survived!). All booze and juice etc goes outside too and keeps cool.
I bought xmas pud and mince pies, made trifle and cheesecake a day or two before. Carton custard, cream and condments can be bought a week or even earlier.
We had cold starters - pate, melon, or mozarella salad for the veggies.
On the day
Cook the roast spuds and sides. cook the veg and use the water they have been sitting in to put in the gravy. Many veg can be microwaved. Slice the meat and plate up for everyone. If the gravy is hot enough you will not have to reheat the meat. You can always nuke the stuff you are using on the day or put it in the top oven if you have one.
Eat dinner. Plonk deserts on the table and tell them to help themselves.

Breakfasts can be croissants etc. I don't envy you entertaining in laws for that amount of time. Esp if they are anything like mine!

this website has a good timeplan and nice recipes. Most people panic about oven space on Christmas Day but there's really no need to. The turkey can come out of the oven and be rested for anything up to an hour while everything else cooks, just cover with tinfoil and a couple of teatowels. I also second disposable turkey foil roasting tins.

You are not alone OP. I'm doing exactly the same this year, first christmas at home and somehow now have 10 to feed (including a few toddlers). My plan is to do as much as possible in advance and make a little timetable of the big day so I don't waste the whole day in the kitchen. With all the tips you've had already it'll be fine (with the aid of plenty of wine too!) Good luck

This is all excellent advice. Definitely don't get drawn into feeling like you've got to provide posh nibbles and booze options to rival the Queen Vic especially if your lots are more the tin of Quality Street and a can of lager type if you haven't got it they can go without or bring their own. Try not to lose sight of the fact that, essentially, it's "just" a roast dinner on the day.

You can do easy one pot meals for the days that aren't christmas - spag bol etc that everyone will eat. Pizzas that you can bung in the oven. And if they're staying that long they can definitely take a turn in the kitchen or shout for a takeaway, even if its "takeaway" from the supermarket.

Another vote here for getting a notebook and heading it up with each day that you will have guests and a section for breakfast, lunch and dinner on each day.

Most days breakfast will probably be toast, cereal, fruit etc. Christmas Day we have rolls and sausage so add that to the shopping list (saves having to do a proper lunch if you've had a big breakfast!)

Christmas Eve I usually do a braised beef casserole of some sort that can be made in advance and heated once DS is in bed - Christmas Eve dinner we have a 'grown up meal'.

Christmas dinner is traditional. Don't bother with a starter. In fact we just do some nibbles and fizz around lunch time, dinner at 5pm and then cheese and biscuits later if anyone is hungry.

Boxing Day is leftovers and pickles/salad etc. I usually do a ham just before Christmas as that does for lunches Boxing Day for those that are sick of turkey.

We will still have guests on the 27th so by then we usually book a pub lunch somewhere and get out for the day.

Don't be afraid to ask for help - peeling vegetables, washing up, putting someone in charge of wine. Equally, if guests offer to bring something take them up on it - crackers, tin of biscuits, Christmas cake, maybe a dessert?

Just as aside, the first year I had Christmas here I tried to be hostess of the year. I did it all myself, refused all help and assembled a Christmas menu that looked spectacular but needed hours in the kitchen. By 7pm on Boxing Day I was an absolute wreck and in tears - no fun at all and I learned my lesson!

I would make sure that your guests bring something useful. Don't wait for them to offer, tell them!

So - for example, you could farm out the Christmas Pudding and/or mince pies to one; the stuffing to another.

That will make life a lot easier.