How do I handle different Christmas expectations?

[Snowflakepie]

We will be going to stay at MILs from 23rd Dec till after Xmas lunch, then go to my parents until the 27th. Have 2 DC plus me and DH to take things for, and the gifts for family which is 13 people. Plus DD will be 4 just after Xmas so people tend to give us her birthday gifts to bring back as we live a few hours drive away.

So, in previous years I haven't taken any gifts to and from DH, me and the kids, if that makes sense? There's no room for extra stuff in the car and DCs were too small to notice. We then had them later at home and all was well. This year my BIL and his family will be at MIL on Xmas day, and they are planning stockings, tree gifts, table gifts, all sorts of random stuff. I'm not opposed to it, but feel very awkward about my DD in particular noticing her cousins have things and she doesn't. She will receive plenty of things from family, but I'm now thinking should I try to fit in a stocking, even if small? The cousins get sacks of stuff 'from Santa' which isn't something my family have ever done. It comes from a person who you say thank you to!

Anyone else having to manage different attitudes to Christmas too? How do you deal with it when one family behaves in one way and another doesn't or can't?

I'm thinking next year we stay at home until after gifts, but its a long drive and I love to spend time with the families. I just don't know how much we can transport!

Do you not do Santa at all? I think your dd will notice. I couldn't do that to her I'm afraid.

We do Santa but also gifts from proper people are from those people so still say thank you.

I think I would try to bring along a,stocking and at least some presents, I think your ds is definitely old enough to notice and feel bad. Surely as your little ones get older there's less stuff to cart along, leaving space for some pressies?

I would downgrade the presents you take along for other relatives to tokens or small (in size) gifts if necessary to allow more space for your dd's things.

If part of the issue is that the cousins get a lot more things anyway, there are some cheapish presents that can look bigger. What about a pop up tent or tunnel, or there's a fantastic cardboard shop in ikea for £10.

Roof box?
Order some things on Amazon and get them delivered to your parent's house?

That should have been dd rather than ds.

Yes, do vouchers or something for the adults so that you can save room for your own DC presents. Or post the relatives gifts. You are the family who is travelling to see everyone and you have limited space for gifts, they should understand that.

We are traveling to family at Christmas (long haul flight) so limited on gifts. Some bigger stuff I have ordered online and got sent directly there, adults have all decided to do secret santa so me and DH only have to buy one gift each.

I am also bringing presents for my niece, and stocking stuff for my DDs - I have allocated one medium sized suitcase for gifts, which should be enough for the return flight too (once all the packaging is gone). I am wrapping everything once we are there as they will get crushed/battered looking otherwise.

Could you give vouchers to the adults so save on space?

Could you not send some money to the in laws and ask them to buy a few bits and pieces for the stockings. You could give them ideas like colouring in books etc and they could buy it. I've bought my 3 year old a couple of activity books from the poundshop. The beauty of stuff like that is that you won't have to take them back with you.