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Christmas

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Original poster

Is it acceptable to give a group family present and not the children presents?

21 replies

SeaWave · 11/11/2013 22:36

I have 2 sets of good friends, both with 2 children each under 4. For each family I am painting 4 Christmas wine glasses and 4 short glasses. Is it ok to give them the present as a family, or do I need to give the glasses to the adults and get the children something each individually?

OP posts:
ThreeMyselfAndI · 11/11/2013 22:39

I think that sound's lovely op. I always used to enjoy being give family presents and the fact it's been hand painted makes it thoughtful and personal.

Original poster
SeaWave · 11/11/2013 22:53

Thanks, I wasn't sure if it was bad form for the children not to have anything to open that was theirs, iykwim

OP posts:
Luggage16 · 11/11/2013 22:53

if it was just wine glasses I would suggest something small for the children but if the short glasses would be suitable for the children then I think its fine. If you aren't sure then maybe just a cheap colouring book for the kids or choc buttons etc (mainly because kids a greedy little things and at christmas have a tendency of expecting a gift)

Original poster
SeaWave · 11/11/2013 22:55

Luggage, its 4 wine glasses and 4 tumblers. I thought we should get them something, but husband thought it would be ok not to! I think parents would be ok, but the kids would feel they hadn't got anything from us?

OP posts:
mercibucket · 11/11/2013 23:06

maybe something cheap n cheerful for the kids

Luggage16 · 11/11/2013 23:08

I think if they are under 4 they may well not yet have the skills to smile and be ok, there is every possibility they will ask you outright where their gift is, especially if you are giving one to the parents (I have no doubt lots of people will now say that they are greedy or spoilt but kids just dont think like that). I really wouldn't spend a lot as you have given the parents something great, but I would probably pick up a cheap xmas box of buttons (£1 in supermarkets atm) or similar so they have something to open too - they will have no concept at all of cost but would notice if their parents got a gift and they didn't iyswim

CloserLook · 11/11/2013 23:24

I agree get the kids something small. It might save some embarassment both for you and the parents! It doesn't have to be anything big. Maybe colouring books or sticker books? Just something they can open. It's a lovely present btw but the kids might feel a bit left out.

3bunnies · 12/11/2013 08:15

I think it also depends if you have children and if you think they will be receiving gifts from the families. Mine might be a bit put out if your child got a whizzy noisy toy and they got nothing, but if you don't have children and you wrapped the tumblers up separately for them to open then I think it would be fine.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 12/11/2013 08:57

Selection boxes in Asda are really cheap at the mo, or a Choc Santa from Aldi/Lidl each?

Original poster
SeaWave · 12/11/2013 11:58

Thanks, no kids yet for us (not for want of trying!)
Knowing the parents they would be fine, and presents would be saved until Christmas Day anyway,p to open when we weren't there, so DH said kids wouldn't notice nothing from us as to opening with us there. But I will get them something. Trying to keep costs down, gets very expensive when all friends have kids getting adults and kids presents!

I know we could just get the children, but it seems wierd of us when we get present as adults

OP posts:
ThunderboltKid · 12/11/2013 12:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

Floggingmolly · 12/11/2013 12:01

Absolutely. Do kids really expect gifts from all and sundry at Christmas; to the point of actually demanding to know where it is if none is forthcoming? I'd die of embarrassment if my kids did that.

Pogosticks · 12/11/2013 12:01

The glasses sound really lovely. If you were my friend I would be touched and grateful.

If you really really want to you could put some chocolates inside the glasses.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 12/11/2013 12:03

You get presents from the adults because you don't have kids.

It would be fine to just get their kids something and nothing for the adults. They would be pleased that you are thinking of the kids and making them happy. This is what happened with me as I was the last to have kids in the family. I used to get presents from the kids.

I wouldn't think twice if my childless friend bought something for my dc and not for me. I'd be really touched. I would get her something for herself.

HairyPorter · 12/11/2013 12:06

I agree with the suggestion to fill the kids knew with sweets or to get them something small. At that age the kids won't be able to use the glasses anyway so I would personally just give 2 wine glasses?

3bunnies · 12/11/2013 12:11

In that case no problem with giving a family present. They will have so many toys that they won't notice. I think it is nice for the dc to see that their parents have their own friends, presents etc. Christmas can become very child centric. Probably worth mentioning that it is fragile - my dh has a compulsion to shake every present!

MerryMarigold · 12/11/2013 12:13

We're getting our whole family a family present this year (ie. me, dh and 3 kids) so I think it's fine. Kids will have presents from other people and FC gifts to open. Would rather pool the resources for something decent than get everyone little things.

VinoTime · 12/11/2013 12:33

I've been pulling my hair out with Christmas coming up. I'm a single parent with only one child, and I'm on a fairly low income. All my friends have partners and 2+ children. I've put my foot down this year and refused to put myself into the red buying for everyone. It's not that I ever give to receive, it's simply that I've been buying for SO many children in the past and spending significantly more because none of my friends have only one child. And if they give to mine, I would never dream of not giving there's something, you know? Condoms are sounding like a great present to give this year... Grin

Honestly, I think a family gift is a fab idea, and a thoughtful one on your part with what you're doing. All I'm doing this year is a "family" gift of a bottle of mulled wine, a tin of biscuits and a small selection box/box of sweets or choccies for the kids (one each from the pound shop). I can bring it in for under £10 and everyone gets a little something Smile

For my best friend, who has three young boys, I've got a spare Junior Monopoly Party board game that I picked up cheap. I think I'll just wrap that up as a gift for them all and throw in a bottle of wine for her and some chocolates for the kids.

Sheeparefluffy · 12/11/2013 12:48

for the children I would roll up a pair of xmas socks each and put them in the kids glasses.

NeverQuiteSure · 12/11/2013 12:54

It depends on how well you know the children. If you babysit them, take them out etc then I'd be inclined to pop a £1 bag of choc buttons in as others have suggested. If they just happen to be related to your friends, then I really wouldn't worry about it. Especially if it going to be opened on Christmas Day as they'll have loads of other gifts and there's every likelihood that whatever you buy them won't be fully appreciated.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 12/11/2013 13:27

Sheep - that's a nice idea. You can get some cheap Christmas theme socks in Primark, or a bag of gold choc coins.

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