Just for fun: Christmas presents for frenemies

[AndHarry]

For a child whose parents you dislike, I give you:Jolly Penguin Race, a noisy, utterly pointless contraption that goes on and on and on and makes both small children in the Harry household squeal with delight

Any suggestions for grown-ups? :o

Arsenic for adults

Seriously noisy toy for children.

A family hamper full of fruit shoots, pombears, billy bear sausage slices, smarties....

Drum kit for toddler.

Big box of chocolates for SIL who bores on about diets forever and a day.

A hyacinth kit for a hayfever sufferer.

A dog calendar for anyone a cat owner.

Ahem.

Has to be a box of luscious Millionaire Shortbread or Chocolate Brownies with the added ingredients of Ex-Lax.

I have never tried this (I'm not sure if it still works if cooked)

But the recipient will surely thank you for the colonic irrigation and near certain weight-loss that a good dose of the squits would bring

A Jamie Oliver book?

Or how about a set of steak knives for 2 vegetarians?
Yeah, Thank YOU, MIL. Loads of thought put in there

Or maybe she does hate me.

Arsenic is too obvious. It has to be something that can be presented with a big smile and received with appropriate cooing over how lovely it is while the recipient is secretly thinking it's awful.

moon dough
play dough
anything with tiny beads
cards with a load of glitter in them

One of those awful bath sets that smell like harpic and bring you out in a rash.

These are great. I really laughed at the JOHN book :o

For the DC: soft toys. Argh!

JOHN? JO

Fanny Craddock's Christmas Cookbook (you might need to search for this)

My Dad was given some Woolworth vouchers after they went out of business (Broke his little heart)

One of those weirdly overpriced things everyone knows is silly money. Like a Jo Malone candle. £40? It's a candle FFS.

But they are then obliged to splash out on something just as overpriced for you. And all they got was a candle!!

Ok so I am an ungrateful cow. In my defence I can't smell anything (it's called nasomia) so this sort of thing baffles and infuriates me.

I like the jolly penguin set. there is one at my parents'. It's a bit broken now though.

Framed artwork by your children. Mwahaha!

But Billy the penguins never catch each other! It just goes on and on until the batteries run out, playing that dreadful music at ear splitting volume. The only funny bit is watching baby DD trying to catch the penguins.

What's wrong with soft toys?

oh, I don't like it for very long.

Something nice and tasteful like a music box

And it plays the national anthem!

poison pefume had to restrained from giving this to mil one year

A football set with bag, cones, ball and one pair of shin guards. FOR TWINS!
Thanks SIL.
Also cheap lego. It's just crap and doesn't stay together.

We always joke about giving mil poo on a stick!

For a child whose parents you dislike - a feather boa. Kids love them, but they drive the adults mad 'coz the feathers go EVERYWHERE! [GRIN]