My 'little boy' isn't coming home for Christmas

[lilolilmanchester]

Had to happen, totally supportive, but omg first Christmas without my pfb... And breathe ...

Yeah, he's 20 but still...

What's he doing instead?

Awww that's a tough one! Are you home with family?

Oh lilolil - has he found one of those partner thingies who want him to go to their house?

waaaahh! I am already dreading this, and my 2 are only 8 and 6!

Do you have other DC that will be home? Did you act all nonchalant when he told you?

This will be my first Christmas without my parents or foster parents.

Ridiculously upset about it, even though I know it's logical and fair (am going to MIL, who I do love!)

I feel you!

Your roast potatoes are still the best Lilolil. They cannot take that away from you.

I suspect I'll be in the same boat with my PFB this year. I know it has to happen, I know it's crazy that he and DIL have never spent Christmas together, I know he's an adult etc etc - but still, it's not nice. So sympathies.

Ouch! First one has to hurt.

Something we all dread and those of us with young children never want to imagine!

Ah, bless.
Will you not see him at all?
My eldest is 22 and his gf likes xmas at home, and my ds likes it here.
I know the time will come though.
Do you have family and friends to spend the time with, or anything you'd like to do that you couldn't when your ds was around.
I am sad and love carol concerts so I know when the time comes and dc are all gone at xmas, I will be doing my stuff.
Hope you find something good, for you.

He's a student, he and his gf can make good money by working over Christmas. Been there and done that and totally understand, but didn't expect to lose him at Christmas soon :-(

Awww, I do feel for you.

I was 30 years old when I spent my first Christmas without my parents, I was 40 weeks pregnant and DP cooked beef instead of turkey for Christmas dinner.

Pancake flipper do I know you?

No, I won't be alone. DH and DD her, my mum also and a couple of neighbours who have no family nearby. And understand totally why he's not coming home. But first Christmas in 20 years without him is going to be hard

I bet he feels sad too, first Christmas without my mum was really sad.

Can I butt in and ask a question? (But/butt?)

How would you feel about adult children with their own kids offering to host Christmas? I'm at the stage now where I would like to start building our own family traditions. I think my DF would be pleased to have someone else take the cost and hassle away. My DH won't even broach the subject with his DM as he is convinced she will be devastated.

Hope you don't mind me gate crashing?

Oh you have my sympathies. This is on the very near horizon for me and I think I may have to have five minutes in a locked room to sob.

HootShoot I told my parents and in-laws about two years ago. They all understood and like coming here. I love,love, love hosting my own Christmas. It helps that dh does the cooking.

Not at all hootshoot. When we were first married, we alternated between ILs( who lived 400 miles apart ); once we had DCs we stayed at home with family welcome if they wanted to come. I will break my heart on Christmas Day without my son BUT understand why he is doing what he's doing . Had just hoped to have had him home for a few years yet :-(

He'll be back lilolil. You have not had your last Christmas with him yet! Although you may have done his last stocking.

Thanks for answering my question.

If it helps I worked one Christmas in a restaurant when I was 18. Never again. It was miserable watching happy families while mine were at home. The tips were great though.

Yeah I know not had last Christmas. And definitely not had last stocking, his favourite bit of Christmas :-)

My DS has been working and living abroad for the last few Christmases. So we celebrated Christmas in mid November. I put the tree up, cooked a Christmas lunch, we had crackers, presents and Christmas music and it was lovely :)

My motto is 'Christmas is not just for Christmas Day' :)

If DC are grown up and pre-kids themselves I'd be tempted to head to a nice hotel near them and get together for a nice lunch out. I quite fancy the idea of not lifting a finger in 10 years time.

Probably a lot cheaper too, at the moment I seem to be knocking out cakes and puds for folks on an industrial scale.....

Too far away to do hotel (otherwise he'd be coming home)... But he may be home before then and good idea to do early Christmas