I like reading about it on here, seeing what people think up, but we don't do it ourselves. The only elf involvement is that on 24th Dec, new jammies (and perhaps an Xmas book or tree dec) are delivered at bedtime. Last year as we were out all day I arranged them on the stairs with glitter leading up from the door, so we found them when we got home (although DD, 5, got briefly upset as she thought she had missed Christmas
). There is no actual elf though IYSWIM, we just said the first time "ooh look the elves have delivered something" and that was enough
With the Santa thing (always a controversial bun fight thread on MN when it gets nearer Xmas!) we didn't particularly do anything, but when DD heard about it from nursery we played along in a low key way - we do the cookies/carrot before bed, and he fills the stockings and brings one main surprise present. We've never done letters, grotto etc (DD is very shy anyway). I'm not entirely sure if DD - now 6 - really believes or is just playing along. She is quite literal in many ways and has often said things like "ghosts/vampires/whatever aren't real are they mummy, they are just fiction".
I figured it out when I was about 4 or 5 I think - my mum put a note in the pouch of a cuddly kangaroo saying "please look after me" - bless her, she had even changed her handwriting, but I recognised the (slightly dry and scratchy) felt tip she had used! I felt smug rather than sad I think. With my DCs if they ask if he's real, I will say "what do you think?" and if they say yes I will continue playing along, if they say no then I will say they are correct, well done for figuring it out etc, but that it's fun to make believe and we still can if they want. This thread has reminded me I must talk to DH about this to make sure we take the same approach.
Sorry I have totally diverted from the subject there haven't I
. Anyway. I like the idea of the elf but I don't think it really suits us. We tend to keep things quite low key and I don't like too much build up throughout early December as I get worn out. They get chocolate advent calendars but I might get a wooden one if I see a nice/affordable one. Would probably still mostly be chocolate in it though.